


Cohesion

by quinship



Category: Tegan and Sara (Band)
Genre: Biotechnology, F/F, Parent Issues, quincest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-22 10:11:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 65,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13164753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quinship/pseuds/quinship
Summary: Born as a government experiment that goes awry, Tegan and Sara are separated at birth. But as the only known superhumans in existence, when they finally meet, they can't bear to continue life apart.





	1. Chapter 1

As you can most likely guess, most governments have many secrets. This is true for several countries off the top of almost anyone’s head. But in this case, the United States government is the one that shall be focused on. It’s honestly not necessarily a surprising fact about this particular country. Another unsurprising fact is that the US government has made advances in science and technology that most people couldn’t even begin to wrap their heads around because the processes and details are so intricate and complicated that it would really only make a good bedtime story best spoken in a soft monotonous voice in order to aid one’s descent into the arms of slumber. But for the sake of this story, imagination will have to be used, as the details are not exactly vital and are really only significant (if they really are at all) at the beginning of this narrative. Another reason is that they would be longer than this entire story itself, and you would have to suffer through that boredom and confusion in order to even begin reading, and that is not the intention of this narrative.

Now, the United States of America has made these advances in technology and performed experiments in order to advance weaponry. It had been decided that it was time for a new kind of weapon to be developed. One that would not require the fuel that most weapons did. One that could work on its own and think for itself and make all of the correct judgment calls. One that could even learn. Everyone knew of stories about superheroes and supervillains with powers. Most even fantasized about having their own abilities such as those, and it was inspired by those comic books that these scientists began to develop this idea. And so began the newest top secret scientific operation: to construct the first known superhuman.

It took years of research and experimentation before this department was able to finally begin their project. It was expensive, but eventually, everything was ready for the first run of the experiment. If it failed, their budget would run out and they would not be able to conduct another for a long time. This was make it or break it. Every single movement was perfectly calculated by dozens of scientists and quadruple checked by other experts in these fields. Several experts of each field of science were working on the project and all of them were constantly swamped with tasks to complete when they were there.  

The artificial womb was much too delicate to use an ultrasound or any sort of scanning instrument on, and the project wasn’t worth risking for that. They did everything they could to check on the fetus, but they didn’t exactly know how it was. It caused a lot of anxiety for everyone involved, despite every person on the team having to be calm and cool and collected because order had to be maintained. All of the months of waiting led to an early birth turned into a caesarean section, which was planned from the beginning, but it had lots of risks because they weren’t exactly sure where the baby was.

The child had been manufactured completely artificially. The one natural thing that had seemed to happen was that the sperm had turned out to be X and the zygote had split. The first was something that was no big deal; a woman would work just as well as a man; maybe even better. But the latter meant twins… identical twins, which technically meant that clones had been produced, though unintentionally.

They had measured the doses of steroids and other such nutrients to nourish one, not two. There was no knowing what extent that these twins might have powers within the world of drugs they had injected, so a meeting was called to discuss what to do about the babies and all of the uncertainty surrounding them.  

The twins were both small and premature due to the early birth. There was only one incubator, but they were both able to fit inside of it due to their small size. They’d been both given wristbands that identified which one they were; the first born or the second born. The older one was smaller and weaker than the younger and needed more medical attention, but it was nothing so serious that she wouldn’t be alright soon, especially with plenty of doctors surrounding her.

“Can they still be used for their intended purpose?” Was one of the first questions asked. This question was first discussed as for whether or not the twins would still be able to do what they were engineered for and if they would physically and mentally be able to accomplish the tasks imagined for them. This meeting was silenced by the sound of one of the twins crying. Then the other began to cry too.  

A wave of self-realization seemed to wash over everyone at this point, like it was high tide after years of low tide. Suddenly everyone remembered that despite the genetic engineering that had happened, these sisters were human children. Babies. Ones that needed to be raised and educated. Ones that would have normal wants and needs. These scientists had planned the biological and psychological processes that would occur as their envisioned superhuman grew up, but they didn’t remember that these would be people, just like them. Just like their own families and loved ones.  

Once the babies were taken care of again, it was back to the meeting. But everyone had fallen silent and unwilling to speak. They’d all gotten so far ahead, imagining what these women could do for the military, and yet their childhood was not thought of. All of the people that had contributed to this project had been given opportunities as children. There was really never only one path for them. They’d chosen the road that their life took. But they were ignoring the fact that they were taking away these choices for these babies. Yes, they were superhumans, but the heroes in the comic books; the ones they had modeled these girls after, all had choices of their own. They’d made the decision to do what they did. All of them. Even the supervillains.

Here, they’d planned on sending these hours old infants, who hadn’t even been named yet, to war to fight (albeit as adults, but it was all the same) without much of a choice in the matter simply because a bunch of adults who didn’t even know them (and frankly, none of these adults actually thought of them as children) had made this decision for these baby girls.

Nobody felt brave enough to speak up. They all felt shame deep in their gut due to the fact that they hadn’t even given that a single thought. And if they had, they’d quickly dismissed it in favor of focusing on how to make a war machine out of their vision; projecting what they wanted onto someone who would honestly have no choice. They knew that none of them would be fit to be parents if they’d thought like that with their own children. Most of the scientists working there were not parents; a decent chunk not even married, but the ones who did have children felt the deepest shame of all. How had they not made the connection that the thing that they were constructing for their job would be a child, just like their own? This question would haunt those that were parents, and they’d question if they deserved to have any role in their children’s life.  

The people who had hit the realization and felt shame wanted to redeem themselves, but they didn’t fully know how that would be accomplished.

Eventually, one scientist finally spoke up, “What do we do with them now? Do we raise them as regular children and let them make the choice themselves?” She pursed her lips, thinking that she’d be willing to adopt them if they needed a home. She was a physiologist and had always wanted a daughter. After all, a loving home was most important in this situation, right?

“The experiment failed. We can’t try again, but we can observe them and see how they grow up.” Another scientist said. He was one of the main biologists behind the project. He wasn’t a young man… not by a long shot, but he was the youngest person heading the project. “I don’t think that integrating them into society would be the best idea. First, we need to get an idea of what they can do. Then we need to teach them that it is not safe for them to use their abilities around people, or even at all.”

“Install fear into them?” One psychologist questioned. “Keep them isolated from other children? Are you really sure that’s a good idea? Humans are social creatures, and being prevented from interacting with kids their own age would make them even more different than they would already be.”

“Is the alternative any better? No one can know about them and their abilities. If they turn out to be geniuses, that’s fine. We can allow them to become educated and use that. But super strength and speed, the way we planned, are dangerous. Their enhanced senses are going to cause trouble. People know that superhumans are a product of fiction. We don’t need the public to get excited about this new development. Besides, if the American public finds out, then the world finds out, and we’ll lose this advantage.” The biologist pointed out.  

“But either way could negatively affect the children or this entire operation.” The psychologist informed him with defeat. “We have to make a choice.”

“We haven’t even decided if we are actually going to try to train them to fight.” One of the main scientists declared with exasperation lacing into his voice. He had worked on this project for so long, and he didn’t think that he’d live much longer so he wished that something could come out of this apparently failed experiment. But it was not enough that he’d helped to create artificial life and superhumans. This man wanted to make superhuman weapons; sticking to the original plan, even though all scientists should be flexible with their results, and he should have been satisfied with the fact that this department was even able to create humans in such a fashion. But he was not. He was stubborn and had decided that what was basically his magnum opus should follow through with the plan that had been laid out, and straying from it was a betrayal.

“We’ve already established that they deserve to make that choice when the time comes.” The physiologist said coolly. “We don’t want to force them to do anything, especially as children.”

“That is a line I don’t think anybody here wants to cross.” The psychologist added. “We just have to figure out how to raise them. We can either shut them away or scare them into hiding their powers on their own. Or both. But the only other option is to risk everything. However, the way that they will be raised is going to constantly affect them in their lives, even until they die. But the question is: what is the safest but also the most ethical thing to do? That is what we are deciding right now.”

“We are not philosophers.” The old man stated simply. “We are scientists. We have this chance; why not use it to our advantage? We did create them. We can do with our creation what we please.”

“Because they’re children!” The psychologist exclaimed, frustrated. “They’re fucking infants and if you want to send them to battle in eighteen years without even letting them make that choice, then I don’t think you should have input on this. At least everyone else who has spoken already has a good point on why they should be raised that way. You apparently just want to keep control over this experiment.”

“At this point, I don’t think they should leave here for a while.” A child development expert explained. “We need to make sure that they are normal in their health. If both of them end up not having healthy systems in their bodies, which was a bit of a risk in the experiment, they shouldn’t try to live normal lives anyway. They’d have to know about any issues in order to make sure that they’d be able to take care of their health in life.”

“That’s a good point. We need to figure out what to do in each case.” The physiologist agreed.

“I think, regardless, we should keep them separated.” The psychologist offered with a sigh. “We can’t have them growing codependent. If they grow up together, they may rely on each other, especially if they are the only child that they know. However, they could cling to any single child they meet due to insecurity over being different. Anyway, once they figure out that they both have powers, they could be encouraged into using them more. Each girl must believe that she is the only one with powers and that they are not to be used around other people who do not know about them. That will most likely decrease the girls’ public usage of them. Though teenage rebellion is dangerous, as well as the rebellion that comes with being a new adult, however, they should be old enough to understand why they must not use their abilities, especially if we handle childhood correctly.”

“Are you saying that if we convince them not to use their powers, it’s probable that they can have a full childhood?” The physiologist asked anxiously.  

“Hopefully.” The psychologist answered, shrugging. “But we cannot say anything for certain.”

“But what about their interactions with other people? Are those wise?” The youngest main biologist asked, speaking up.  

“Perhaps, but it’d likely be best that they not be allowed to get attached to anyone. For all we know, they could remember having a twin.” The psychologist explained. “I’m not sure if that’s cruel or not… keeping them apart, but it may just be best for the world. We’re walking a tightrope blindfolded here. A wrong choice could do so much bad for us, or for the girls, or maybe even both. There is honestly no perfect solution here.”

“Are you saying that the best course of action may just be to keep them apart?” A chemist asked. “Because, if so… We should probably start now.”  

A pediatrician stood up, going over to check on the newborns in the incubator. They were curled up next to each other, hooked up to tubes and machines and monitors. They were sleeping peacefully together in an image that could figuratively melt hearts. Few people would’ve had the strength and determination to separate these two. Perhaps thankfully, this pediatrician was not one of the people who could have done so and went back to sit down.  

The physiologist looked longingly at the incubator. She wondered if this path, even if she had found the job of a lifetime and accomplished things many other scientists could only imagine, was actually the best thing for her. She wanted a family as well as her career, but it hadn’t been wise to be pregnant while working in such a place. It had never been the right time to start her family with her boyfriend. If these children needed a home, she’d give them one, and she’d love them.

“We shouldn’t… Not yet at least.” The pediatrician finally said. “If they get strong enough to live without assistance from machines, then that’s when we’ll separate them. But not yet. They have to stay together for a while if we want both of them to survive for sure.”

“I think I have the solution that will suit everyone involved best.” The psychologist spoke up, sounding calm and decided. “Once they are strong enough to be separated, we will keep them separated for the rest of their childhoods. We can do tests and observe them until they’re a year old so that they hopefully won’t remember it when they’re older. Then, we’ll have them grow up far away from one another. Two volunteers will have to be their parents. The girls will have to be taught that their powers are dangerous and mustn’t be used. They’ll have to be homeschooled too. And maybe… Once they are eighteen... They can learn the truth and perhaps meet one another. But not for long because if they’re allowed to get too close, it’d be unsafe. But once the time comes, if they want to fight for their country, they will. If they don’t want to, then we can’t force them.”

This plan was determined to be the one that wouldn’t endanger anyone or leave anyone lying awake at night, shaking their head at themselves for a decision that went too far against their ethics. It was the best compromise they could come up with. Now, all they had to do was wait. A decent number of the scientists were let go, as they weren’t needed anymore. They were sworn to secrecy, and there would be severe consequences if they went against the contracts that they had signed before, during, and after working on this project.

Over time, the eldest but weakest twin got bigger and stronger, and eventually was healthy enough to be separated from her sister. They’d be named by their parents later on, so they were given code names.  

They were observed as they aged over the months, and it was found that they were pretty, well, normal; which was a bit of a surprise at first. The scientists set out schedules that would help them to develop regularly and naturally. They were still treated like babies because that’s what they were, and anything else would have been maltreatment, which could have ruined their lives.

It became apparent that they could be raised like normal children (socialization might be an issue, but it was determined that as long as they went out in public regularly, they’d be alright), so it came time to decide which of the people working on the project would raise the girls.  

The physiologist who so badly wanted a family of her own was named Sonia Clement, and it was decided that she would definitely be allowed to raise one of them in California (she was going to be a professor of Physiology at UC Berkeley starting in the New Year), and the youngest biologist heading the project, named Stephen Quin, would raise the other. He was going to be a professor of biology at Harvard University (also starting in the New Year). They had different ideas on how to parent, but at the core, they would be doing the same things in order to keep the children’s powers from being discovered by anyone. Stephen didn’t want to be a parent so much as he wanted to continue observations on the experiment and learn what kind of powers these children would have. Nobody else actually wanted to raise a superhuman child with so much at stake, so there was really nobody else willing to take the other one in.  

Sonia named the twins, as Stephen did not have a name planned. The first born was named Tegan, and the second was named Sara. Tegan went with Sonia, and Sara went with Stephen.

The day they were brought to opposite sides of the country, the sisters still weren’t allowed to be in the same room. Sonia left with Tegan first in order to meet her boyfriend at the airport, and from there, they’d go to their new home in Berkeley. Stephen wouldn’t leave with Sara for a few days, but she cried as Tegan was brought out of the building, though Sara did not have a schedule change. Nor did anyone think that she saw or heard anything about her sister leaving. Reportedly, Tegan cried too. She cried for hours, until she finally fell asleep, much to the relief of the people who were on the plane with them, though that could have been attributed to being taken out of her normal surroundings. Sara eventually gave up her wailing after only two hours but was difficult for the next three days. At the end of the week, Stephen moved to Cambridge, Massachusetts with her.  

The department that had created this project had shut down the second Stephen left that part of the facility. It wouldn’t be spoken of for years, but each contributor would be haunted by the moment that they’d realized that the superhumans they’d helped create were only babies, and wonder what that meant about them if it had taken years for them to come to this epiphany.  

Had the scientists in that department known the Pandora’s Box they’d created by separating these twins, perhaps they would have kept them together. But they suffered the consequences, and one cannot blame them for simply trying to find the solution that suited all of their needs best… Or can you? After all, they had plenty of time to think these decisions through again and again, right? But humans do the best they can, and it’s easier to look at a situation that one is not involved in and decide that they know better than the participants due to a lack of stress and pressure in the environment. Or perhaps the people involved have simply not actually thought things through.


	2. Chapter 2

On the west coast, near the Bay Area, Tegan grew up with her mother and father. She was a happy little child at home. She loved all art forms more than math, science, or history. She enjoyed stories about girls having adventures so much that Sonia would read to her every night after dinner while Bruce would clean up the kitchen. But more than stories, Tegan loved music. Bruce would play music for her, and ever since she was a baby, she'd listen intently, hanging onto each note. When she was big enough to play the piano, Bruce began to teach her, and she excelled as a child.

Until it was time for her to go to preschool, Tegan was never without her parents, and it turned out that going out in public with them wasn't enough to prepare her for preschool. She cried when her parents left, and pretty much refused to take part in activities the class was doing. She was shy around people who weren't her parents, and would just sit in the corner avoiding eye contact with everyone else, even the teachers. She'd silently cry and wouldn't even go to the bathroom. It became apparent that, after the first month of this, things were not going to change. Sonia had figured that since Tegan's possible powers hadn't shown up yet, it'd be a good idea for her to go to preschool at the very least and learn how to get along with people. But Tegan apparently didn't like the idea, so she was pulled out. It was decided that Tegan's homeschooling would start early, then. So a tutor was hired for those two years. Everyone was much happier this way, especially Tegan, once she got used to her tutor, who won Tegan's favor when she was allowed to listen to music during their lessons.

By the time she was ready for kindergarten, Tegan was also ready to go to school with other children her age. After the first couple of weeks, she got over it and she was fine. But by the end of the school year, despite developing like the average child in every other way, Sonia noticed that Tegan could run faster than boys who were older than her and pick things up that she shouldn't have been able to lift with such ease. Her senses were sharper than they should have been. This meant that her superhuman abilities were developing, and once she finished kindergarten, Tegan was no longer allowed to go back to public school until further notice and would be taught by grad students hired by Sonia. Tegan threw a tantrum over this, breaking a kitchen chair into several pieces in almost an explosive manner. Once she'd seen the destruction she could cause, Tegan burst into tears. This made things easier for Sonia to explain that these abilities were dangerous, and Tegan needed to hide them before she could be with children her own age. Tegan, with tears still in her eyes, had agreed that mother did indeed know best.

Sonia didn't like to let Tegan very far out of her sight, except when she was at work, or going to run errands. Bruce was a stay-at-home dad and took care of Tegan. He was the only person outside of the experiment who knew about it. He tried to raise her normally, but he had to encourage her to hide these abilities. He could sense when she was getting restless, which was useful when raising a child with abilities such as hers, so one day, he proposed that the three of them go to Tilden Park to have a picnic, and he'd teach Tegan how to ride a bicycle.

It was a nice summer day, and it was a nice treat for Tegan to get out and go further than she's ever remembered going from the apartment. It took a little while, but Tegan got the hang of the bicycle, and she was really excited about it. Neither of her parents had the heart to tell her that she wouldn't be allowed to do this very often.

And then Tegan accidentally wiped out due to the uneven terrain. She was wearing a helmet, elbow pads, and knee pads, so it wasn't a huge deal. She cried, and there were scrapes on her flesh, but they looked worse than they really were, even if they did bleed. But as they brought her back to the picnic table to clean her up, Sonia and Bruce noticed that the wounds were healing on their own, right before their very eyes. They exchanged a look of panic and tried to subtly pack everything up and take Tegan home as soon as possible.

Going out like that happened once a week as a reward for behaving, but Tegan was forbidden from speaking to anyone her parents hadn't approved of; not even a waiter or cashier.

She became restless, and the summer she was eight, Tegan threatened to throw large things out the window if she wasn't allowed to leave the house more. Sonia calmed her down and brought her outside and quietly explained to Tegan again about how using her abilities would hurt and scare other people. Tegan realized what that really meant. She became afraid again and was even clingy.

Her teenage years weren't easy, but Sonia played her cards correctly. Tegan remained shy and emotional, only doing little managable things to rebel. She wanted people to like her, but as it happened, she had an uncanny charisma, but being shy, Sonia wasn't too concerned about that ability causing any real harm. Tegan just had a way with body language that encouraged people into feeling how Tegan seemed to want them to feel.

Sonia's chief concern was for how Tegan would be once she left home, though she hoped that Tegan's lack of interest in much of anything except music would keep her home for a few more years after she turned eighteen. Not that she wasn't well educated during her homeschooling, which Sonia made sure of, but Tegan just didn't really want to go to college. She certainly didn't do well enough academically to go to someplace like UC Berkeley.

By the time Tegan was seventeen, she had decided that she'd go to college when she felt like it and actually had some semblance of a plan. She wanted to travel first, but Sonia asked her to stay home until after she had turned eighteen, to which Tegan agreed, especially since she wasn't entirely sure about going someplace without her parents. She was terrified of people finding out about what she could do. To her, it wasn't like being gay; something that she'd easily talk about. Her abilities were something that scared her, which Sonia was secretly relieved about. This made everything easier for her, at first.

Sara's life with Stephen was vastly different. Once he started teaching, he made friends with other professors and would have them babysit Sara while he was busy with a class. If nobody was available, he'd have her sit quietly under his desk playing or napping. She was popular with the students who were in those classes, but Sara didn't necessarily like the attention. She liked to hide herself away from them because they'd often baby talk at her. Sara didn't really talk until she was a little over two years old, but the first thing she said was, "Why do you talk to me like that?" when a student in the class had been baby talking at her. Everyone was surprised, and Sara went on to later correct her father during a lecture when he forgot to mention something. Her sentences were always simple, but it soon became clear that she had been paying attention to the lectures she sat in on. Stephen realized that it was probably best if she didn't constantly sit in on an advanced biology course, so he hired a tutor to teach her by the time she was two and a half. Sara was reading once she was four years old and it turned out that she had an amazing memory and could remember almost everything she'd read. Her education was a breeze for her, and she'd finished her advanced high school education by the time she was almost thirteen, so she began to attend classes at Harvard in order to have something to do with her time, as she didn't really have many hobbies.

When Sara was young, Stephen had quickly taught her lots of rules to keep people from figuring out the truth about her. Luckily, besides being a prodigy, Sara didn't really display having her abilities until she began to go through puberty. At the same time, she was discovering her sexuality.

She was given a lot of rules, but Sara had a rebellious streak which came from growing up a bookworm and knowing how to think for herself. She read all sorts of books where girls did not play by other people's rules and formed a tendency to ignore the ones that she was given. Stephen knew this, but she behaved decently, so it wasn't a huge deal and he was too busy to enforce these rules when there weren't any outward consequences. Once her abilities began to set in, he had a serious conversation with her, trying to discourage Sara from using them in a way that other people would be a witness to. Sara agreed only because she thought it was a reasonable rule.

But something Stephen didn't count on was Sara breaking into his home office and picking the lock on his file cabinet and finding documents that revealed that she wasn't a regularly adopted child. She was ten by this time, and he knew that it was pointless to hide the truth from her any longer, so he explained that she was a superhuman created by the government, and the people who'd participated decided that she should get a choice in what she did with her life. Sara informed her father that she had no intention of joining the Armed Forces. Stephen was slightly disappointed, but he hid that fact and encouraged her to explore STEM fields. But Sara preferred literature to engineering or chemistry. She also knew when someone was trying to manipulate her into doing something and had a tendency to go against what someone was trying to get her to do or say. She also liked to occasionally do things out of spite, if they lined up with her interests.

Sara wasn't always easy to be patient with. She wasn't very good at respecting authority right off the bat (in fact, she often challenged it), and never put up with bullshit. She always thought for herself and spoke her mind. She didn't really like people that much, and when she did choose to be around other people, everything had to be done on her own terms. People didn't really know anything about her as a person, because she didn't really like to say much about herself, and didn't have close relationships with anyone; not even Stephen. Sara wasn't exactly an emotional person either and thought excruciatingly logically (which a lot of people found off-putting), except when she wanted to rebel (which was not something other people generally saw). But she even did that logically and didn't get caught doing things she wasn't supposed to do.

By the time Sara turned eighteen, she had been sexually active since she was fifteen (she was rarely ever studying in the library so much as hitting on the freshman girls who weren't yet eighteen, and had astonishingly good charisma when she wanted to charm someone) and had a bachelor's degree in English Literature. As a graduation gift, Stephen had given her two cats: a gray one that Sara named Holiday, and a black and white one that she'd named Mickey; both of them Scottish Folds. She'd applied to transfer to Cambridge University (in England) to get her Ph.D., and gotten in; moving out as soon as she possibly could. She lived in a little flat with her cats nearby the college, even though she was still seventeen, but she knew how to take care of herself and her babies (as she called Holiday and Mickey). She also wasn't the type of person to go out of her way to use her strength and speed, since she preferred being inside rather than going out to do something besides read. In fact, she never used her strength and speed period. Sara was one of those people who always arrived at places early anyway, so she wouldn't be running to get somewhere. And exercise was something she wasn't a very big fan of. Her strength became useful when she was moving, but she made sure to be subtle about it because she wasn't stupid.

Sara wasn't quite sure what she wanted to do with her life after she got her Ph.D. She most certainly did not want to teach, but she also didn't want to do anything that involved people. She preferred being alone. Honestly, she didn't exactly have to get a job. Stephen had explained this to her when she was ten; there was a trust fund to support her throughout her adult life due to her having been created as the result of an experiment, so she would be taken care of. He had put some of his own savings into her trust fund, so it was larger than they had originally intended for it to be. Due to this, Sara could do what she wanted with her life and if she wanted to get a job, she would, even if she didn't need to. She liked to create art, so perhaps she could do something with that, but she still didn't know if she truly wanted to. It was looking more like she'd end up as a hermit in the woods somewhere.

On the twins' eighteenth birthday, their parent sat them down and told them the full truth. Stephen called Sara, as she had been in Cambridge for a few weeks already (settling in and getting used to the setting), while Sonia sat Tegan down at the table and told her everything. Tegan had no idea up until this point. But Sara knew most of it.

Sara had only expected a happy birthday call from her father; nothing else. But she got the piece of information that made everything fall into place. She'd been wondering what exactly made her a failure in the experiment, and the question had been at the back of her mind for the better part of seven years, though she'd been unable to reach a conclusion. But her curiosity hadn't been satisfied until she finally received this new information.

"When you were born, you weren't the only result of the experiment," Stephen said calmly. "You are the younger of a set of identical twins. Eight minutes younger, to be exact."

"What happened to my sister?" Sara asked, caught off guard. She sat down, not trusting herself to not fall to the ground in shock. Her voice was thin and almost a whisper. She knew better than to say useless things like 'What?' and 'How is that possible?'

"She's alive and well," Stephen assured her. "She's in California. Her name is Tegan Rain Clement, and she has the same abilities as you." Sara stared off into space, a whole world of possibilities opening up to her.

"I… I need to see her." She whispered. "Send me pictures. Now." Stephen proceeded to email pictures of Tegan to his own daughter. Sara could barely breathe as she looked at these photos. She traced her finger against the screen of her laptop. It couldn't be true… She'd thought she was the only one of her kind, but no; there was someone like her. A girl with the same dark brown hair, the same hazel eyes, the same gummy smile… And according to Stephen, she could do the same things as Sara too. She could infer that Tegan probably had to hide her own powers from the world as well. Finally: someone who could understand.

"The fact that you two turned out to be twins was the reason that we came to the conclusion that the experiment had failed, at first," Stephen explained. "We had only put in doses enough for one, so if you had been one person, we would have considered the experiment a success." Sara couldn't speak. Just sit still as a statue as she looked at the face of her identical twin sister, albeit composed of pixels. Her lips silently formed her sister's name: Tegan.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" She managed to ask, her voice faint. Her mind was moving at the speed of light, asking all sorts of questions about her sister; things Stephen probably wouldn't be able to answer. Like Tegan's favorite color, what growing up with these abilities was like, did she also have dumb reality shows as a guilty pleasure, did she love cats too, what was it like growing up with these abilities that she had to hide, did she also hate a messy room, did she love literature as much as Sara did…

"We didn't want your powers to get out of hand, or for you two to grow co-dependent because you are the only known superhumans in the world. I wasn't even supposed to tell you about the experiment until you were eighteen, but you found that out on your own." He sighed.

"I need to meet her," Sara informed him softly. There was no room for argument in her voice. "If you won't let me, then I will search the world for her, and I will find my sister." Stephen felt chills run through his body and had no doubt that Sara would go to hell and back if only to find the one person who would be able to understand her. And she would find Tegan; Sara had the capacity to do so. Both of them knew it.

"You will." He promised. "This weekend. We're going to meet in New York, and you and Tegan will be allowed to talk to each other. But Sara… That's it. We can't afford to let you get to know each other too well. It's risky."

"Don't tell me what I can and can't do." She warned, hanging up. She needed time to herself to let this information fully sink in. She might even shed a tear.

However, the conversation between Sonia and Tegan was completely different. Tegan had no idea what made her different, as Sonia and Bruce had done their best to just say that she was born that way, and pretend that they didn't know anything else. Of course, Tegan did know that she was adopted, so she'd been satisfied enough with that answer and just moved on.

"Tegan, honey… There's something your father and I have been keeping from you." Sonia sighed. "We haven't been allowed to tell you until now."

"What's going on? Do you know who my biological parents are?" Tegan asked, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion. "Do you have an answer?" Sonia nodded.

"You don't have biological parents." She said simply. "Please don't interrupt me right now, sweetie. You need to listen to this… You were the product of an experiment by the government to try and create life artificially and engineer a superhuman. That's why you have the abilities that you do. I was one of the scientists working on that experiment. But that's not everything, Tegan. The experiment failed because it turned out that the zygote split, resulting in identical twins. You were the older of the two, but you were sick at first. We were able to get it under control really quickly, though. Your sister survived too. She grew up on the East Coast with another scientist from the experiment. The dosages of drugs to make sure that you'd have the abilities were enough for only one person. We hadn't planned on twins. That was why the experiment was a failure. The reason we separated you two was because we feared that if you grew up together, having only one person who understood would make you co-dependent, or that you'd encourage each other to use the powers more. It was imperative that we keep your abilities hidden from the rest of the world, and I'm sorry for that." Tegan was crying by this time because she was so overwhelmed that she didn't know what to do. "Do you have any questions?"

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?!" Tegan demanded. "Mum, this changes everything."

"I couldn't tell you because you had to be eighteen," Sonia explained, placing a hand over Tegan's. "I had to sign a contract promising that I wouldn't."

"Does my sister know that I exist?" Tegan's voice was trembling.

"Since it's eight hours later over there, I'm pretty sure she knew before you did." Sonia smiled sadly. "Stephen—her father—told me that when she was ten, she broke into his file cabinet, and found out that she was the product of an experiment. She didn't know about you until today, though."

"What's her name?" Tegan pulled her hands away and clasped them.

"Sara Keirsten Quin. She's going to be educated at Cambridge University in England. That's why it's so much later over there." Sonia answered.

"I've lived eighteen years without knowing that I had a sister." Tegan choked out. "And I'm the last one to find out?!"

"We kept you two together until you were well enough to be separated. We monitored both of you separately until you girls were a year old, and then Stephen and I moved to opposite coasts to make sure that you girls would never meet by chance." Sonia explained. "I wish you could have known sooner, but like I said, I couldn't tell you." The first part of this sentence was a lie.

"What's she like?" Tegan avoided eye contact with her mother. She didn't know if she could handle meeting the eyes of the woman who'd kept so many things from her as she'd raised Tegan and claimed to love her.

"She looks like you. Side by side, you can notice the differences, but someone who didn't know you would confuse you." To her credit, Sonia was patient and understanding about how overwhelming this could seem.

"But what's she like?" Tegan asked impatiently, looking up again, but still not making eye contact with her mother.

"I haven't seen her in person since she was a year old." Sonia chuckled slightly. "But she's apparently brilliant—she got a bachelor's in English Literature at Harvard, which is where Stephen teaches when she was seventeen. She's also apparently rebellious. Not exactly a people person, though."

"Can I meet her?" Tegan pleaded, desperate. "I don't know if I can live without meeting my twin sister." A fresh wave of tears went over her cheeks.

"Next weekend, we are all going to meet, and you girls can get to know each other for the weekend," Sonia promised. "We're going to New York."

"I can see her afterward, right?" Tegan perked up. "I don't know if I'll be able to live without having her in my life… She's the only person in the world like me."

"Oh… Tegan, honey… This is why you can't." Sonia felt a pain in her heart as Tegan's face fell. Her daughter was trying to stray away from her. Sonia thought that she could see Tegan's heart shattering at that information. "I'm sorry, but this is how it has to be. The two of you may become codependent, and this is exactly what we were trying to avoid."

"I'm eighteen, Mum!" Tegan protested. "Don't take this away from me. Don't do this… It's my choice, ok?"

"You haven't even met her yet, for Pete's sake." Sonia reached over to try to calm her daughter down. Tegan jerked away and stood up.

"Don't touch me!" She sobbed. "Why can't you just let me do what I want to do for once in my fucking life? You wouldn't let me continue going to public school. You wouldn't let me go to a playground, and you basically wouldn't let me do anything fun at all!"

"I wasn't allowed to." Sonia stood up, reaching out to hug Tegan, but her daughter stepped away.

"Please don't touch me." Tegan turned away. "I'm allowed to make this decision for myself. I didn't sign anything."

"Tegan, think rationally." Sonia pleaded. "Again, you haven't even met Sara yet. How do you know if you're going to like her enough to want to spend a lot of time with her?"

"You do not get to say her name like that!" Tegan whirled around, angry tears on her cheeks. "It's fucking bullshit! I'm not allowed to know my own sister; meanwhile, you say horrible stuff like that about her? No; I am not going to let you do that."

"Sweetheart, calm down." Sonia didn't move to touch Tegan, which was probably for the best. "You're overreacting. Come on; it's your birthday. Why don't we go to that place that you like so much?"

"No!" Tegan stormed off into her room. "Don't talk to me anymore!" She cried for an hour before falling asleep with tears still leaking from her eyes and drying on her face. Sonia didn't try to talk to her daughter, but she sent Bruce in to try to calm Tegan down.

"You knew the whole time too, didn't you?" Tegan muttered once she was awake, lying in her bed, turned away from her father. Bruce handed her a glass of water.

"I didn't know all of it the whole time." He answered. "Teegs, you should drink that. We don't want you to get dehydrated." She sat up, scowling, and wordlessly drank the glass of water while he talked, only because she knew that he was right. "Your mother wasn't allowed to tell me about the project until it was decided that she would take you home. It was a lot, so I'm with you on that. But I didn't know about your sister until today either. It was a bit of a shock; knowing that there was another person just like you out there the whole time. But if I know your mother—and I really hope I do—she wanted to keep you and your sister together, and raise you two. She also would've wanted you to know, but she wasn't allowed. And she's also supposed to discourage you from going to be with your sister. I'm not really supposed to know anything, but she was allowed to explain as much as she absolutely had to for me."

"She's not doing it because she cares. She's doing it because someone else told her to." Tegan grumbled.

"That may be true, but you really don't know Sara yet." Bruce reminded her.

"I love her already," Tegan explained. "I don't care what anyone tries to tell me: I love her."

"I can't tell you how you should or shouldn't be feeling right now." He said simply. "But the fact is, you are eighteen. And sometimes the thing that everyone else is saying to do isn't the right thing for you. But remember… Every action has consequences and they should be thought through."

"What are you trying to tell me?" She demanded, narrowing her eyes.

"Tegan… I'm trying to guide you." Bruce smiled sadly. "Be careful about every choice you make, and the unforeseen consequences. There are things I'm not allowed to tell you that I wish I could. But please focus on the fact that you will get to see your sister. You're going to meet her and get to know her."

"I just want to know her," Tegan said, not knowing that across a country and an ocean, her twin was thinking the exact same thing.


	3. Chapter 3

That Friday, since she did not have any classes yet, Sara boarded a plane for a seven and a half hour flight. She thought about Holiday and Mickey as to give her mind a break from Tegan. She’d left them with a food dispenser that would fill the bowl at the times when she’d normally feed them, along with several large pans filled with water and extra litter boxes with fresh litter. She knew that they’d be alright. They had each other, and it was only for a weekend. She was mainly thinking about them to calm herself down.

Strangely, leaving her babies home alone for a full weekend would cause her less anxiety than thinking about her twin sister. Her lip trembled as she wondered what it’d be like to meet Tegan for the first time. Would she want to hug her sister? Sara wasn’t a big fan of hugs, but she’d be willing to hug Tegan. Come to think of it, she wasn’t a huge fan of physical contact. Would her body subconsciously know who Tegan was, or would she still be uncomfortable with the contact?

Sara sat perfectly still, staring at the pages of her book, her music playing in her ears through the earbuds. She wasn’t reading or listening; she was calming herself down, so neither form of entertainment was reaching her. There were still six hours left of this flight; she needed to get her feelings under control. She forced herself to pull out her laptop and start working on a paper for one of her classes. After ten minutes of that, she realized that it wasn’t a good idea. She wasn’t calm enough and the product's quality wouldn't be very good. Sara went back to her book, reading each word individually. Eventually, she figured out that it was best if she just looked out the window and breathed. The scenery of the ocean calmed her. She supposed that she should try to maybe take a nap. At least there were no crying children on the flight so far.

When she awoke from her nap to the woman next to her shifting, Sara realized that Tegan’s face had been in her dreams. She wondered if Tegan would like her. Sara wasn’t exactly a warm person… What if Tegan didn’t like that? Sara bit her lip, reminding herself that at the very least, Tegan was someone who understood. They’d have that, even if nothing else.

After exiting the plane, Sara met up with her father, and the two of them retrieved her baggage. Neither of them smiled as they greeted one another. He asked her how her flight was. She said it was fine. She asked where the hotel was. He answered that question. Affection simply wasn’t something they shared. Sara had hundreds of questions, but she didn’t want her father’s answers, so she agonized over her attire for meeting Tegan for the first time since they were mere infants, though it felt like meeting one another for the first time. Sara was desperate to make a good impression. She wasn’t quite sure that she knew how to do that. Never before had she cared so much about anything. Not even her education.

Tegan was also terrified of making a bad impression. She agonized about it aloud to her mother during the five and half hour flight. Sonia had taken this to mean that Tegan forgave her. After all, Tegan’s more intense emotions generally calmed after a while.

“Sara will probably like you just fine,” Sonia assured her. “Also, that reminds me, Stephen told me that Sara found a flight today. So if you want, we can meet up with them today.” Tegan’s eyes were wide.  
  
“Yes, please! But only if Sara’s up to it, that is.” Tears filled Tegan’s eyes. She felt herself internally quivering from excitement.  
  
“We’ll find out when we land.” Sonia patted Tegan’s knee. “Are you alright?”

“I just… I never imagined that I would ever…” Tegan trailed off, partially because she didn’t know how to put it into words in a way that she hadn’t already, and also because they were in public. Yet another reason was that she didn’t want to start bawling again.  
  
“I understand.” Sonia smiled, then wrapped an arm around Tegan’s shoulders. She relaxed a bit from her mother’s contact, but Tegan was still tense, and her leg bounced from nerves. Tegan wanted to tell her mother that she didn’t actually understand and never truly would. But she remained silent, biting her lip as she wondered what it would be like to finally talk to Sara. Sure, they’d technically communicated with one another before and just after they were born, but this would be completely different.

Sonia tilted her phone so that Tegan, despite her sharp vision, would not see the email she was typing out. Tegan didn’t really notice what her mother was doing, as she was caught up in her own thoughts. Every so often, she’d ask Sonia some question. Eventually, Tegan grew bored and began to play games on her phone while listening to music on her iPod.  
  
When the flight landed, Tegan was restless and ready to get off the plane as soon as she could. She was hungry, thirsty, and needed to stretch, but that would happen after she went to the bathroom.

Once Tegan had used the facilities and stretched away most of the stiffness, Sonia steered her towards baggage claim. The airport was crowded and noisy, so Tegan clung to her mother’s hand, eventually just allowing herself to be led to wherever her mother was taking her, wondering why Sonia had insisted upon carrying Tegan’s carry on backpack for her. Eventually, Sonia stopped; moving Tegan right next to her.

For a moment, the world stood still. In front of her stood Sara. Pictures did not do her justice. They had the same color eyes, but Sara’s face was shaped differently and her hair seemed to be slightly darker (probably because it was shorter). She seemed to be slightly smaller than Tegan too. Her facial expression was almost unreadable, though Sara’s lips were parted in what looked like surprise. Her eyes traveled over Tegan, taking in everything she could.

Tegan made note of every detail she could. No makeup. Neat hair. Ironed black and white plaid button up. Black jeans with no lint or spots on them. Brown oxfords that looked slightly too big for her feet. No coat. Sure, Sara was standing next to some man, but it didn’t matter.

Sara could barely believe that she was actually seeing Tegan in front of her. She forgot to breathe. Sure she’d seen pictures, but it was hard to believe that Tegan was actually real. She felt like home was calling out to her as she stood in front of this girl, so similar to her, and yet different in key points. Tegan’s jeans were baggy, her shirt was rumpled, and she was wearing a hoodie. Tegan’s converse sneakers were dirty, and her hair was kind of sweaty, despite being pulled back into a messy ponytail. Sara swallowed and then drew in a shaky breath with trembling lips. She carefully stepped forward. Tegan’s eyes widened, and she looked kind of scared, but she took a step forward too. Another step from each of them, and suddenly their arms were around each other in a hug that was too sloppy and tight, but it felt like home.

Tears spilled out of Tegan’s eyes and onto her cheeks, eventually falling onto Sara’s shirt. Sara pressed her lips together, realizing that for once, she wanted this physical contact, and yet she’d never said a single word to Tegan. She intended to change that, but she couldn’t speak. She was choked up, especially since Tegan was crying. Her thumb lightly stroked Tegan’s spine, which made Tegan cry even harder.

The two of them forgot about the rest of the world around them. They knew that they’d have to separate their bodies from each other, but the last time it had happened, it took almost eighteen years for them to reunite. Neither twin knew what to say after eighteen years. Their emotions had no words that could do them justice. Eventually, Sara remembered where they were. She didn’t care a whole lot, but in the world, time existed. And she and Tegan only had the weekend together. Sara did not intend to waste a single minute. She lightly tapped Tegan on the back, slowly and carefully pulling away. Tegan did so reluctantly. Her face was red and a mess of tears and some snot. There were wet spots on Sara’s shirt. She reached into her pocket and handed Tegan a small package of tissues.

Neither of them knew what to say or how to start the conversation. Both adults felt lost as well and figured that it was best for them to stay out of it. Tegan was tempted to just hug Sara again, but she couldn’t do that forever. Her hands shook as she blew her nose and tried to dry her tears. Sara extracted a tissue from the package and carefully began to dab at the wet spots on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry.” Tegan managed. Her voice was unsteady from crying. Sara glanced up, surprised. Her gaze softened, but she was frowning. “Your shirt,” Tegan whispered. Only their sharper senses let them hear one another over everyone else.

“No, no. Don’t be.” Sara replied softly. “It’s alright.”  
  
Tegan still wasn’t quite sure what to do. A quick glance around showed that both of their parents had gone off to fetch Sonia and Tegan’s luggage. She opened her mouth but didn’t trust her voice. She was surprised that she wasn’t scared. She just didn’t know how to say anything to her sister after all of this time apart. She hadn't been prepared to meet her sister in this airport. Her mother hadn't told her about this.  
  
“I just want to grab your hand and run away from here together,” Sara confessed. “I… I want to know everything about you.” She wiped at her eyes, trying to make sure no tears would fall.  
  
“I know this sounds stupid and foolish, but I love you… even if I don’t know you.” Tegan said, her gaze going to the ground. Sara, her hand shaking slightly, reached between them to move Tegan’s bangs out of her face. Tegan met her eyes, and Sara smiled sadly.

“It’s not stupid. Or foolish. We’re special.” Sara informed her. Tegan darted forward and pulled her into another hug. Sara hadn’t been expecting that, but she welcomed the touch and was not tense for even an instant. She leaned into the embrace, her fingers gently stroking Tegan’s hair. She smiled for the first time in a long while.

Sonia and Stephen collected the twins, and Stephen led them to the rental car. Sara and Tegan immediately got into the backseat. First Sara got in, then Tegan, though she sat in the middle part of the backseat, even if Sonia was sitting in the front seat. Tegan tentatively laced her fingers through Sara’s and was surprised when her twin took her hand. Sara looked at her, giving her a reassuring smile. Both of them were overwhelmed and seemed to need constant reassurance that this was, indeed real; that it wasn’t just a dream that would leave them feeling emptier than a deflated balloon once they awoke. But it wasn’t. They were there together, after all of those years…

Tegan looked out the windows with wide eyes, the way she had when the plane was taking off. She’d never left the state of California before, much less seen the east coast.

Sara had traveled more; her father had often gone to lots panels and conferences, and she was dragged along to the location but left in the hotel or motel room once she was too old to do schoolwork or read a book quietly. Sara was smarter than running away at those times, and Stephen knew it. At first, he’d done his best to lock her in through leaving with the only keys, but eventually, Sara learned how to pick locks; even ones that required key cards. Then he just realized that it was much easier to let her come and go as she pleased, leaving some money. She couldn’t get up to very many horrible things, in his mind. She knew not to use her abilities in front of other people. She was perfectly aware of the consequences, which he knew kept her more under control than when he simply told her to or to not do things.

It was on one of these outings that Sara had first gained her sexual experience. She was fifteen at the time and had gotten good at making herself look older because that made life at Harvard a lot easier. It had been evening and she’d talked to some eighteen-year-old girl whom she noticed scrolling through Tumblr at gifsets of lesbian couples. The two of them had agreed on a one night stand, and once it was over, Sara simply got up, dressed, and left without a word. She’d slept with several girls since then. She didn’t have any romantic relationships with anyone. She was too cold for most people to want that. Besides, anyone she did develop feelings for didn’t want her in that way, and she knew better than to try to get them to like her. So sex without strings attached satisfied her just fine.

Sara looked at her sister. (That word would always be so strange… She had a sister… An identical twin sister named Tegan Rain Clement. She’d have to practice saying the word sister… But to whom? She didn’t really like making friends. Perhaps Holiday and Mickey would have to do.) She wondered all about Tegan… Was she even gay? What was her history? What were her passions?

But alas: Sara could not bring herself to ask all of the questions she had drifting about in her mind. She couldn’t speak. Every single word she spoke to Tegan was sacred… They’d lost too many years for any single syllable to not be important and meaningful. Sara didn’t want to ask Tegan any stupid and silly questions, but if her twin asked the simple questions, then she’d know that it was okay to ask those of Tegan. Until then, the only things she’d say would be the meaningful ones. Their touches seemed to speak volumes on their own. For once, Sara welcomed the physical contact. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d actually wanted to be hugged, but with Tegan, it felt like finally coming home after a long, tiring journey, and she wanted to remember that feeling forever so that she could savor and cherish it.

Once they arrived at the hotel where they were all staying, Tegan finally let go of Sara in order to get her things. Sara wordlessly got out with her and Sonia, while Stephen would find a parking garage. Tegan watched her sister effortlessly pick up a suitcase that had given Sonia some difficulty and then smiled at seeing that her twin really did have abilities similar to her own. She pretty much refused to look up but held onto Sara in some way at each moment.

She was confused when it turned out that Sonia and Tegan were sharing a room that could be adjoined with Sara and Stephen through a door. The part about the rooms being joined made sense, but Tegan wondered if the adults hadn’t come to the conclusion that she and Sara might like to share a room and be able to be together at nighttime and talk… if Sara wanted to, of course.

“Mum, why don’t Sara and I share a room?” Tegan suggested. Out of her peripheral vision, she saw Sara grimace.

“You can’t,” Sonia replied simply, with no other explanation. Tegan frowned.

“Why not?” She asked.

“You know why.” Sonia didn’t elaborate. To Tegan, it took a moment for her to figure out why, but in reality, it was instantaneous. Her face fell. Sonia pursed her lips, trying not to feel bad. “If it were allowed, of course, I’d say yes… If that’s any consolation.” Tegan shook her head, then glanced at Sara, whose expression was that of a person who had been expecting almost that exact answer from Sonia. Sara’s lip curled into a slight smile upon noticing her sister’s gaze. Tegan moved back towards her twin as though gravity was returning her to her rightful position in the galaxy.

“Tegan and I are going to mine and my father’s room right now,” Sara announced, not even looking to Sonia. “Is that ok?” She asked Tegan softly. The elder twin nodded without missing a beat. She reached for Sara’s hand as they exited the room and entered the other. Tegan, with wide eyes, glanced back at her mother. Sonia seemed to want to protest but didn’t even attempt to tell them no or stop them.

Sara shut and locked the door that joined with Tegan and Sonia’s rooms, as well as putting the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on the door handle outside. Once that action was completed, she turned back to Tegan, who stood in the center of the room, watching Sara and looking a bit lost. The younger twin took off her shoes and neatly placed them by the door, and Tegan did the same; deciding to follow the model set by Sara. Tegan figured she could learn about her sister like that.  
Sara gestured towards her perfectly made bed for her sister to sit down on. The two of them sat down in the middle of it, and Sara observed every detail of Tegan’s face again.  
  
“S-so you have a Bachelor’s in Literature, huh?” Tegan commented nervously, desperate to know more about the woman sitting in front of her… It was strange for Tegan to comprehend that Sara was a teenager because she seemed so much more mature than Tegan was.

“Yes,” Sara replied simply. “You know I’ve started studying for my Ph.D. at Cambridge, right?” Tegan nodded. Sara’s words were mellifluous. If only Tegan’s voice would stop shaking ever so slightly…

“It’s impressive.” She said shyly. “I’m not ready to go to college. I actually kind of wanted to travel a bit. I don’t know what I want to do with my life, though.”

“Thank you, but neither do I.” Sara gave a slightly amused smile for a brief second before it faded. “Our purpose was to become a war machine, though… I don’t know if you knew of that or not.”  
Tegan’s lips came apart, and for a second, she couldn’t speak.

“My… My mother didn’t tell me that.” She murmured.

“That’s why they were creating super humans.” Sara’s words grew gentler, and tears stung Tegan’s eyes. “They wanted us to have a choice in what we did with our lives, especially since we were a failed experiment.” Tegan held her breath in an attempt to keep herself from crying. Sara placed a hand on her leg. “Are you alright?”

“I’m just overwhelmed,” Tegan admitted. Sara was one thing. Enormous, but the knowledge that she was created to kill and destroy… That her mother and Sara’s father had worked on such an experiment…

“I’d be sorry that I told you because I have clearly upset you, but I don’t like it when people keep things from me, so I figured that you should know too,” Sara admitted with a sigh. “I was also shocked when I found out.” Tegan doubted that. Sara didn’t seem to be the type that got shocked by anything. She was too stoic. “But the knowledge led me to conclude that I will never have children.” Sara continued. “There’s a stigma about cloning consenting parties or making life artificially. But people should honestly think about that themselves. I don’t feel that people actually have much of a right to bring people into this world. That’s just my opinion, though.”

“I’ve honestly never thought of that,” Tegan confessed. “I’m sure as hell not ready to be a mom now, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be.”

“That is also another reason why I shall only have cats,” Sara remarked. “I can’t love and care for another human being constantly, while also having a life of my own. My cats are much easier.”

“You have cats? Where are they?” Tegan asked, perking up slightly; eyes growing brighter. Sara kept herself from smiling at this.

“They are back in my apartment in Cambridgeshire,” Sara explained. “They’ll be alright alone together for the weekend.”

“Where did you get them?” Tegan asked, her interest in these cats piqued.

“My father gave them to me as a graduation gift in June,” Sara answered. “Their names are Holiday and Mickey. I have a few pictures of them on my phone.” She pulled the device out of her pocket and showed Tegan her gallery. The elder twin awed and cooed at the photos as Sara watched through her bangs. She bit her lip. How could someone clearly so different than she be her twin sister?

Not that she didn’t like Tegan; the opposite was true. But she’d hoped for someone more like her… The only reason Sara hadn’t been put off by Tegan was because she refused to be put off by her twin. Just because they were different didn’t mean that they couldn’t understand and relate to one another. But even though Sara longed to know every little detail about Tegan, she also craved to hear Tegan speak about serious subjects. But her sister shied away from those. Sara blamed Sonia. The woman had clearly done everything she could to shelter Tegan.  
  
She began to wonder how much that had affected Tegan permanently. People can’t help how they were raised, and sometimes people are affected by that forever. Sara honestly didn’t actively want to make Tegan uncomfortable, but she wanted to know some important things, but perhaps that’d come later.

“So… what was your childhood like? Do you have a mom? Did you go to public school?” Tegan asked, pulling her knees to her chest, and wrapping her arms around her folded legs. She rested her chin on her knees. Sara sat with her feet tucked neatly underneath herself, her back straight.  
  
“No to both. It was just me and my father. I was extremely familiar with Harvard University by the time I was seven years old.” Sara replied. “We spent most of our time there. I was tutored in the library, usually in a study room, but sometimes a carrel. I wasn’t too excited about any of it. I thought that it was all too easy. My tutor had to get creative in ways of using my current subjects to do fun things because I’d get everything immediately and I never liked doing a lot of busywork. Besides, my tutor was better than simply giving me work to occupy my time but not my mind. But tell me about you. I’d like to know everything I can.” She leaned forward the slightest bit, and Tegan felt chills on her spine.

“W-well… My dad was a stay-at-home dad and raised me. I couldn’t handle public preschool, so I had to be homeschooled. I was only allowed to be in public school for kindergarten because I needed to learn how to interact with other kids. But I wasn’t allowed to go back for first grade because my powers started to develop. I was homeschooled ever since.” Tegan shrugged. “I’ve been to my mum’s office and lecture hall at UC Berkeley though. We rarely ever left the town except for maybe once or twice a year, if that. Um… I realized that I was gay just this past year… I don’t know if you’re gay, but there’s that…”

“I am,” Sara confirmed.

“How’d you figure it out?” Tegan bit her lip, a bit excited that she’d finally found someone like her in several ways.

“I knew for sure when I was thirteen and in my college classes. The courses weren’t that difficult for me, and I was able to find the time to get distracted by my attractive classmates.” Sara was strangely nonchalant.

“Have you ever kissed a girl?” Tegan’s voice was slightly nervous.

“Yes.” Sara shrugged one shoulder.

“What else?” Tegan furrowed her eyebrows.

“I’ve been having sex with girls since I was fifteen,” Sara answered simply. Tegan’s eyes practically bugged out of her head.

“Fifteen?! How? Is that even legal?!” Tegan exclaimed. Sara’s eyes flickered towards the locked door that joined with the other room. “Sorry.” Tegan murmured.

“My father goes to a lot of conferences,” Sara explained. “He trusted me alone in a hotel room after a while and I would go out and convince girls that I was older than I really was. I can be extremely persuasive.”

“Holy fuck,” Tegan whispered in awe.

“When we were at home and once I turned sixteen, I’d flirt with freshman girls in the library,” Sara added. “Now, please; tell me about yourself. I want to know.”

“There’s not a whole lot to tell… My life’s pretty boring.” Tegan replied doubtfully.

“You are interested in mine.” Sara pointed out. “I don’t care how dull you think every detail is. I want to know.”

Tegan took a breath. “I guess something important is that I always wanted to go to public school, once I was in first grade… I missed being around people. My dad was like my best friend, but I wanted to know people my age. I wasn’t very… well… Stable as a kid. My parents kept me in the apartment a lot, and even though it wasn’t necessarily small, I wanted to go outside and play hopscotch or some shit like that… run around. My parents never wanted to risk it. So for a while, I’d go out once a week. But we had a balcony that I’d go out on all the time, but I don’t count that as going outside. Mum used to let me put a pillow down over the door track thing on the ground and I’d lay down on my stomach and color with crayons.”

“What did you draw?” Sara inquired.

“Not a whole lot… I just had coloring books. I didn’t like to draw on my own because it never looked very good. Uh… Mum saved a bunch of my old shit, I’m pretty sure.” Tegan answered.

“Have you ever had any pets?” Sara pressed.

“No, unfortunately,” Tegan let out a breathy chuckle with a rueful smile. “Our apartment didn’t allow any. I always wanted one, though.”

“I wish that you could meet Holiday and Mickey,” Sara remarked. “I have no doubt that you’d love both of them. Mickey would like you. Holiday would probably like you, but she’s not as much of a fan of people as Mickey.” Sara also guessed that the cats would make Tegan happy, and she wanted to see the two groups that she cherished most in the same room. Her sister and her cats.  
  
“I wish I could meet them too.” Tegan sighed wistfully, wishing that they had more than just a single weekend together. “What else do you want to know?”

“What are your passions?”

“I really love music,” Tegan said, grinning. “It was one of the few things that kept me grounded as a child. It was the only thing I always had… And it was a bit of a bond for my family because my parents recognized that lullabies helped me a lot as a toddler.”

“The way I see it, music is to the ear as the written word is to the eye.” Sara offered.

“Yeah… That’s kind of accurate. I like that.” Tegan decided. Sara smiled. Tegan chewed on her lip as she summoned up the courage to voice the thought that had become a constant. “Sara… I know we only have a weekend together… And I don’t want to leave without knowing as much as I possibly can about you.”

“That’s what I was thinking earlier. I didn’t know how opposed you’d be to this suggestion, but perhaps we plan what we will talk about?” Sara proposed. “It may not let the conversation flow as naturally as it should, but it wouldn’t have to be a strict guideline.”

“I actually think that sounds like a great idea in our case,” Tegan replied. Her gummy smile made Sara smile too. Sara’s always seemed to fade after a few seconds, Tegan noted. It made her frown internally. Externally, however, she maintained her facial expression.

Sara got up to fetch a notebook and some paper. She returned to the bed and sat down next to Tegan, as opposed to across from, the way they had previously been situated.

“Care to throw in ideas?” Sara asked.

“Yeah, I’ll help.” Tegan agreed. Her close proximity with her sister made her want to rest her head on Sara’s shoulder, but she wasn’t sure how that would be received.

The two of them decided to give around an hour to everything they felt they wanted to talk about most. They even assigned subjects to mealtimes. Tegan hoped she’d wake up at the correct times because her sleep schedule was strange. She noted that Sara’s handwriting was messier than her own, but they weren’t too far off from each other, not just because both of their handwriting was small, but because the letters were structured pretty similarly, but they had their own style. Tegan wondered if Sara would mind if she kept this schedule once they departed. And maybe some pictures… If she was allowed any of that… But maybe she could disregard the rules for this one thing…

“Do you like this?” Sara asked, gesturing to the schedule. Tegan smiled at it, and then Sara.

“Yes.” She replied. “You ready to start?”

“I’m ready when you are.”

And so the real talking began.


	4. Chapter 4

The two began with history and their certain subjects of fascination behind it. Tegan was more interested in biographies and specific time periods than she was about wars and how they started. For instance, she didn't really care very much about the Hundred Years' War, but Sara noted how her face lit up when she got to talk about Joan of Arc and her role. Tegan was fascinated by the Civil Rights movement and how that had been a huge push for the road to equality beginning to be paved. Sara smiled when Tegan leaned forward to hear Sara's own ways of retelling interesting historical facts. Tegan wished that she could sum up the courage to tell Sara that she made everything so much more interesting with her voice. Sara also loved biographies of strong women and it turned out that they'd read about a few of the same people. Sara also admired heists and grand schemes of the past. They moved to literature, which they spoke of over dinner, with the parents watching them like hawks.

When they got to the restaurant they'd chosen, Sara had barely let Sonia or Stephen interject. She even glared at Stephen when he seemed to want to say something. Sara sat next to Tegan at their table, practically daring anyone to tell her no, and once Tegan was settled, Sara leaned forward to assure that all of her attention was on the elder twin. Tegan felt her gut flutter the slightest bit when Sara licked her lips as she nodded, agreeing with what Tegan was saying about whatever old novel with the dead author. Tegan didn't much care for speaking about the subjects they had agreed upon, except for art, music, and politics, but Sara wanted to hear what she had to say, and Tegan wanted to hear any thought Sara decided to share with her, so they discussed the natural and human sciences, philosophy, ethics, and religions.

By Saturday, they had decided to go to Central Park with their two chaperones, and occupy a park bench as they had their political discussion. It turned out to be pretty short, as they agreed on everything, so Tegan asked for Sara to tell her any stories from when she was a child. So, Sara described a few anecdotes from practically growing up at Harvard University, but only in exchange for a few of Tegan's childhood stories.

Tegan's favorite story of Sara's was when some know-it-all nerd had started patronizing her during her second semester of attending classes at Harvard. Unfortunately, Sara was stuck with him in her History, Math, and Science courses, and he'd always try to 'help' her and explain everything to her as though she wasn't a child prodigy at an Ivy League school. Eventually, he asked her how well she'd done on the midterms, and she'd wordlessly shown him all of her papers with marks higher than his, which shut him right up. And she hadn't even been really studying all that much.

All of Sara's stories made Tegan's seem weak and boring, but Sara didn't seem to think so. Tegan's only good stories were the time in kindergarten when she challenged a bunch of boys to run a race when they claimed that no girl could run faster than a boy, and proceeded to win. Tegan proved that she could run faster than any of the boys in her class, and because some of her classmates had siblings, it turned out that she could run faster than boys who were three years older than she was. (This was what led Sonia to pull her out of public school.) Tegan's other story was about being nine and deciding to go out onto the porch/balcony of their apartment and sit on the railing, and eventually stand on the outside, holding onto the bars. Luckily Bruce had been the only person home at this time because Sonia would have freaked out way worse than he did. Tegan never really got in trouble for it, but Bruce lectured her about doing something stupid like that. Sara loved both of these stories more than Tegan felt like they were worthy of.

She wished that she could have something to talk about that was actually impressive, but Sara was far more accomplished than she and had done so much more than Tegan had ever even attempted. Sara tried to assure her by saying that Tegan's abilities developing early was impressive and that Sara was more able to be rebellious due to her setting. Tegan knew that what her sister said was probably true, but still; she felt inadequate compared to Sara. She naturally assumed that Sara's powers would be stronger, especially since Sara was a genius.

"You know… I haven't actually experimented with my abilities and tested their limits." Sara confessed at noon on Saturday. They were still in the park, and Sara had gotten both of them some food from a vendor. Tegan had looked to her mother for permission, and Sonia gave her a nod, but Sara had already bought her own and was waiting for Tegan to tell the vendor what she wanted.

Tegan was kind of thrown in for a loop by the realization that Sara didn't give a fuck what Sonia or Stephen thought about her decisions. She just made them and didn't need anyone's permission to do anything. In fact, she didn't seem to appreciate anyone telling her what to do. For example, when Sonia had said that it was time for Tegan to come to bed, Sara sighed, rolling her eyes, then asked Tegan if she actually wanted to go to bed. When Tegan muttered something about her usually going to bed around this time and that she probably should do what her mother said, Sara's irritated look vanished, replaced by a softer look, and Sara bade her goodnight. Tegan got a hug out of her twin and went to bed in disbelief that her weekend with her sister was already half over. They would have the morning together, but most of the afternoon would be for all of them to get back home.

Tegan couldn't believe how quickly time had passed. They had talked so much, but so little. She lay in bed, unable to sleep with the knowledge that her sister, whom she had not been in contact with for over seventeen years, was in the next room, and Tegan was being denied the right of company with her. She could creep out of bed and wake Sara up, and the two of them could slip out of the hotel room and talk and spend time together, but Sonia was a light sleeper.

Besides… Tegan was afraid that she'd be crossing a line when doing this. She wasn't a rebel, and she didn't want her mother to be disappointed in her. So, she laid there for a while and eventually fell asleep.

That night she had a nightmare where she was home and couldn't remember even saying goodbye to Sara. She was now stuck with going on for the rest of her life without Sara.

When Tegan woke up, she was relieved and began to silently cry a little bit. She curled up into a fetal position, pulling the covers of her bed tighter around herself. It wasn't even five AM. She laid there for a little while, but it soon became clear that she wasn't going to fall asleep again. She hadn't taken a shower on Saturday, so she decided that she might as well take one and get dressed.

She wondered if Sara was awake right at this moment. She was tempted to open the door to check but decided against it. She didn't want to barge in while Sara and Stephen were sleeping.

"Tegan, what are you doing up?" Sonia asked while Tegan was staring at the door that led to the other room. She was startled, feeling like she was caught doing something dirty, and bit her lip, her cheeks flushing.

"I couldn't fall back asleep." She answered. "So I took a shower since I didn't yesterday."

"Why couldn't you fall back asleep?" Sonia got out of bed and turned on the light. She took Tegan's chin in her hands and began inspecting her daughter's face.

"Bad dream," Tegan muttered. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Oh, Teegs… Are you sure talking about it wouldn't make you feel better?" Sonia offered. She pulled her child into a hug.

"No thank you." Tegan pursed her lips. "Actually, right now I kind of want to spend some time with Sara." Sonia paused.

"That's a fair point. I don't know if she'll really be awake right now." Sonia's voice sounded the slightest bit stiff, which Tegan didn't fail to notice, but she decided not to address it.

"I know, but still." Tegan sighed. "I was thinking about maybe checking, and then you woke up-"

The door from the next room opened, and Sara entered the room. Her eyes rested on Tegan, and her shoulders relaxed the slightest bit, and the look on her face warmed and softened slightly. She was fully dressed. Her hair neat and everything. It even appeared that she'd washed her face. The second the door had opened, Tegan's head turned to see who it was, and when it turned out to be the person she wanted to see, her lips formed a smile, and she released her mother, who had yet to release her.

"I couldn't help but hear Tegan's voice," Sara explained, her voice slightly scratchy and deep from slumber and lack of use. "So Tegan, would you like to accompany me while I get some coffee?" Sonia withdrew her arms from around her daughter. She pursed her lips. After this weekend, things would go back to normal.

"Yeah, I'd love to." Tegan went over to pull on her dirty converse sneakers, a gummy smile on her face, and legitimate unironic enthusiasm in her words. Once they were laced up, she practically hopped to her feet to join by Sara's side. The two left the room together; Sara's fingers lightly placed on Tegan's shoulder. "Good morning," Tegan said timorously. Sara felt an urge to embrace her twin, but didn't, out of fear that Tegan wouldn't welcome that sort of physical contact. Tenderness with another human was not really something she felt in general.

"Morning," Sara replied back in the voice that was still deeper than normal. Tegan felt a slight rush of excitement but concluded that it must have been because she was getting to do simple tasks with her twin sister at least once before they were to be separated for the rest of their lives.

"Did you sleep alright?" Tegan attempted to keep her voice smooth.

"I'm still slightly jetlagged," Sara confessed, smiling dryly. "I was just becoming accustomed to the time difference when I arrived back to this coast, and so I may have to start adapting again once I arrive home."

"Sorry." Tegan clutched her wrist with her other hand. "If it makes you feel better, I'm still not used to the time here either."

"Don't fret over me being jetlagged." Sara waved it away. "It's more than worth it being able to be with you." Tegan's lip trembled the slightest bit.

_Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't. Cry._

"Are you alright, Tegan?" Sara stopped both of them, carefully placing her hands on Tegan's shoulders.

"I'll-I'll be fine," Tegan muttered, letting out a long and loud sigh. She avoided eye contact with her sister.

"Please tell me what's causing you pain… Did I do something?" Sara's forehead creased, and she looked genuinely upset.

"No!" Tegan gasped, horrified at the thought of Sara feeling like she'd done something to hurt her.

"No. I just don't-I don't want to go back to the way we were…" She admitted, fighting back the sting of tears. Sara bit her lip, a grim look taking over her features.

"Come along. I have an idea, but I can't allow anyone to stumble upon us. If they do, it will be decimated." Sara wrapped an arm around Tegan's waist, and quickly guided her along as they got the shitty hotel coffee, then went to a random floor above theirs. They found a quiet little nook where nobody seemed to be roomed and sat in that corner together.

"So what did you have in mind?" Tegan inquired nervously. She took a slip of her fervent tea. Her concern for her likely burnt tongue was practically nonexistent compared to the necessity to be able to at least talk to Sara again.

"Do you have Snapchat?" Sara held out her hand for Tegan's phone, which she was granted. Tegan showed her the passcode.

"I do… But my mom might check my phone sometimes… I don't know." Tegan admitted. "She probably has, because I've been leaving the apartment pretty often since I turned eighteen."

"I'll make a Snapchat account for myself right now." Sara murmured. "I never felt a need to have one, but I downloaded the app in case I did find a need sometime. And now I have." Sara added Tegan, then handed her phone back. "I have made an alias for myself, and it cannot be connected to me or any part of my life," Tegan added Sara's account as a friend, surprised that Sara hadn't done that already.

"Do we have to go back right now?" Tegan asked. "Because I really don't want to." Sara gave her a weary and lopsided smile.

"We can stay here for a little while if you desire." Sara offered. "I know we've been under surveillance since before we even met, so perhaps we may be able to steal a private moment together." Tegan relaxed, and with her eyes on Sara, slowly lowered her head to rest on her sister's shoulder. The one thing that allowed her to continue this action was Sara turning to her tentatively moving closer, then nodding, and that's how Tegan knew that Sara wouldn't push her away or ask her to remove her head. Sara didn't want to tell Tegan that no one previous to her had done this. It was new, but surprisingly… Sara liked it.


	5. Chapter 5

“What was it really like for you as a child?” Tegan’s voice was small and soft.

“My life, now that I look at what has happened, what is happening, and what shall likely happen, is rather impersonal to be perfectly honest. I was created as a science experiment, and wasn’t allowed to know you. I wasn’t supposed to use my physical abilities. Sex was and is never with anyone whom I truly care about. It’s just with the most convenient person and one in order to achieve pleasure rather than grow closer with anyone. I always knew what I wanted to do, what I was supposed to do, and so I did everything that went best in that fashion. Perhaps a good analogy for my life is a party. But perhaps one with colleagues rather than a large house party. I am constantly being watched. So I must be guarded as to not let the private and personal factors come into the equation. I must give them enough of what they want so that they are happy, but keep enough of my personality that I don’t lose myself. The only times I feel like I can truly relax are moments when I’m home alone. It used to be when I was asleep in my room, or in the restroom. In truth, what I desire is a life more like a large party. Those have so much more room to be free. You don’t have to impress people except at first. You are allowed to relax and kick off the regrettable shoes that you wore. Your hair is allowed to fall out of place.”

It was strange for Sara to finally say what she felt. Tegan was her only hope of finding someone she could be herself with. People usually wanted this or that out of her, but she knew that Tegan wouldn’t be like that because she and Tegan were so similar. They both wanted someone who could understand. Someone who they didn’t have to hide anything from. “Now, what was yours like?” Sara could hear it in her own voice that she sounded tired. And she was, but not in a bad way. Getting the truth of her chest felt like crying, and this was the tired but relieved moment afterward where she was able to begin to feel better.  

“I don’t think my analogy is as good or well thought out as yours,” Tegan admitted, lifting her head from Sara’s shoulder.

“That doesn’t matter.” Sara gently nudged Tegan. “What matters is that you finally get to tell the truth and don’t have to hold it in any longer.”  

“Ok,” Tegan took a deep breath. Sara placed a light hand on Tegan’s knee encouragingly. “I guess for me it was like I was a pet for my parents that they couldn’t ever let out of their sight and had to keep on a leash. I didn’t really get a whole lot of freedom as a kid. Kindergarten was probably the freest time of my life. I could talk to my friends, run around outside without being watched like a hawk, and I could just leave my parents at the door. Of course, none of this ever translated to after I left the classroom. I was back with my parents and then they’d watch me. I felt like I was constantly on a leash. I wanted more, but I knew that I couldn’t have it, so I stopped asking. But instead of getting more freedom as I got older, I got less. After it turned out that my abilities had begun to show, my parents made sure that one of them was always present with me. On my eighteenth birthday, I went out on my own for the first time… And I was fucking terrified.” Tegan admitted, ashamed. She felt tears rise to her eyes. “I’m supposed to be an adult, and yet I don’t know how to survive without my parents. They kept me in the dark until I was too afraid of the light.” A tear crept down her cheek. Sara reached up and gently brushed it away with her thumb.  

“I am so sorry.” She whispered to Tegan. “I should have found out about you—I should have figured out a way to contact you. I know that if I’d tried hard enough to know everything when I was younger, I would have been able to find out about you. I’m sorry I failed you.”

“There was nothing you could have done,” Tegan informed Sara, a sigh escaping her lips. “And you know it. We both do.”

“I should have known that they were hiding something larger from me, though. I could have figured it out.” Sara argued.

“There’s nothing either of us can do about it now.” Tegan reiterated, a bit of force behind her words. “So I—I just want a hug right now… If that’s ok.” Sara was slightly surprised, but nodded and obliged. Tegan took a handful of Sara’s shirt in her hand as she embraced her sister. Sara knew that her shirt would no longer be as well tucked in, but this was Tegan. If it had been anyone else, she would not have been very appreciative. Feeling bold because Tegan needed the comfort, Sara turned her face into Tegan’s still damp hair and kissed her head. Tegan instinctively flinched initially but then whispered her apologies. “I just wasn’t expecting that.” She murmured. “But it’s ok. You can touch me.” Sara relaxed and allowed Tegan to stop crying on her own.

They both felt so much better after finally being able to tell someone the truth about how they felt about their lives. They’d held it in for so long, barely even able to admit it to themselves. They felt spoiled by this luxury that was supposed to end before the day was over.

“Do you have any ideas about what you’ll do once you arrive back in Berkeley?” Sara queried. The two of them were leaning against each other, sipping at their hot beverages. They were no longer in an embrace, but their arms and sides were practically glued together.

“I should make friends.” Tegan murmured. “Learn how to come out of my shell… Get a job maybe.”

“If you ever want to come to England, my flat has two bedrooms.” Sara offered. “I’d require some sort of head’s up, as I need to procure a bed for that room as I presently employ it as an office of sorts, but I’d love to have you.”

“Thanks… Maybe I’ll come see you when I start traveling.” Tegan suggested. “I’ve wanted to see stuff outside of Berkeley on my own for a long time… But I’m not ready yet.”

“That is fathomable,” Sara remarked. “Advance at your own pace. We are still young. We have time to do the things we wish to accomplish.”

“I am so glad that I’m only eighteen… God… Being locked away for more than eighteen years could be irreversible. I can still break free while I’m young.” Tegan sighed. Sara didn’t have the heart to tell her poor sister that how their parents raised them would be etched into them forever, as it had shaped their childhoods and would be a large factor in determining what they would be like once they actually figured out who they were going to be.  

“Have you ever wished that we had not been created?” Sara asked after a moment of stillness. “Sometimes I wonder what would have happened, had we been one being.” She elaborated, looking down at her hands, which clutched her coffee.

“I never really got a chance to wonder that,” Tegan confessed, her fingers dragging through the carpet.

“Had we been one person, the experiment would have been considered a success.” At this, Tegan looked up, staring off into space straight forward as she began to realize what this would have meant. “And they had a plan mapped out for the superhuman they were preparing for. They wouldn’t have stopped to consider that it was a baby, the way they did with us.”

“You don’t know that for sure.” Tegan tried to object weakly. Her voice was thin.

“That’s true… But I’ve thought about it.” Sara admitted. “Had we been one person, right now we might be fighting some battle or training to do so.” Tegan swallowed.

“They didn’t think of giving us a choice until the experiment failed?” Tegan whimpered.

“I’m sorry, but that didn’t occur to them until they learned that twins had been born.” Sara ruefully informed her twin. “Of course, they all felt ashamed… But it was our life that they were laying out for us. I know it’s horrid but compared to that life… What we have is much better. It’s not good by any means… but it’s better.”

“Knowing that it could be worse…” Tegan began, a slight tone of hope coloring her voice.

“—does not erase the injustice of what we do have.” Sara cut her off bitterly. “Just because we might have had to settle for worse doesn’t mean that we should settle for this. That’s why I want to be able to still talk to you after they try to separate us forever. Not only do I want you in my life, but I want to fight back.”

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to,” Tegan confessed.

“I can help you,” Sara promised. “Little steps. I believe that we two are owed at least to have someone who understands.”

“You’re right.” Tegan nodded. “All of their attempts to protect themselves and the secret just led us to be closer than we would have been. If we’d just been allowed to grow up together and with other kids, we’d have grown apart like normal people and found other friends. Sure, we’d still have this bond over our abilities and growing up together… But not to the extent that we’re going to be bonded over our powers. And them trying to force us apart is just going to make us hold on tighter to each other.” Sara raised an eyebrow, interested. “By the way, I think our parents are looking for us.” Tegan continued.  

“They shouldn’t be able to find us on this floor.” Sara shrugged. “That’s why I chose it; it’s among the last ones they’d search.”  

“Yeah, but we should keep moving,” Tegan warned. “They’ve probably been searching for a while. They don’t trust us. They would’ve been five to ten minutes behind us at most. And we’ve been right here for…” Tegan glanced at her phone. “Around twelve minutes. So we’ve been gone for close to a half-hour.”

“If we’re both mobile, we may inadvertently make it easier for them to stumble upon us.” Sara pointed out. “We might accidentally come face to face with them.” Her eyes were wide as Tegan silently urged her to stand up.

“You forget that we’re faster and have sharper senses,” Tegan informed her. “Besides… We’ll take the stairs. You can hear and see anyone using the stairs. I don’t want to be here like a sitting duck, just waiting for them to find us.”

“That’s true…” Sara pondered. “You’re right.” She concluded. “That is actually a brilliant idea.” Tegan placed a hand on Sara’s back and encouraged her to come towards the stairwell.  

“Plus we know the mannerisms of our parents, and so we can get away easier.” Tegan continued. “And there are only two of them. One of them might be staying in the rooms… They have no idea how we’re going to do this.” They moved onto the stairs and tiptoed down a flight, glancing down the center to look for familiar hands on the railings. They listened for familiar voices but heard none. They’d both muted their phones; even turning off vibrate. There was an abundance of text messages and missed calls on both of their phones: all from their dreaded parents. They loitered on the stairwell as they cleared up the messages.  

“We have hours before we have to go back,” Sara observed. “Besides, we’re eighteen. We are legal adults. They can’t force us to do anything.”

“Oh shit, we’re both going to get in trouble for this.” Tegan realized. “I forgot about that… Is your dad really strict?”

“What’s my father going to do… Order me to go to my room and stay there for an hour?” Sara scoffed. “It wouldn’t be very bad, even if he did.”

“Are you sure?” Tegan asked, biting her lip.

“I’m about as certain as I can be,” Sara answered. “Besides, you should probably be more concerned about yourself and how you shall fare. I cannot gauge what your mother would do or say as I do not know her well enough.”

“She’s a coddler,” Tegan admitted. “She’ll lecture me and then watch me closer for a little while… But I can leave the apartment on my terms now so she doesn’t have as much control. Anyway, she’s terrified of making me hate her. She would always tell me that she never wanted me to be in trouble because she didn’t want me to think she was mad at me… I think she’s afraid of me running away.” Sara quirked an eyebrow at Tegan’s rambling. “What?”

“There’s nothing wrong,” Sara assured her sister. “I’m simply thinking.”

“What are you thinking?” Tegan asked cautiously.  

“It’s nothing bad,” Sara promised, brushing it off. “I had an idea.”

“What kind?”

“Not one as in an idea about what we should do from here,” Sara explained. “I just had a thought.”

“Tell me?” Tegan pleaded.  

“Sorry, but I cannot.” Sara tried to hide her smile. “It was only a simple epiphany anyway.”

“I see how it is.” Tegan lightly elbowed Sara, making the younger twin laugh.

“I don’t want to have to go back to my everyday life, but now that you shall be included at least somewhat… It’ll be worth it. I want to know you.” Sara remarked.  

“Don’t we know each other now?” Tegan frowned.

“To a certain point.” Sara shrugged. “It requires more than two days’ worth of discussion about academic topics to truly know someone. I wish to know the simple things about you as well.” Tegan’s eyes bulged.

“I thought you didn’t want to know that stuff.” Tegan murmured in wonder. “I thought you wouldn’t care about the kind of music I listen to, the food I like to eat, or any of that. I… I figured a genius like you wouldn’t think that those things were really that important.”

“What was your reasoning for me desiring to hearken to your telling me of your childhood, then?” Sara asked, cocking her head, smirking with amusement.  

“I don’t know… Figure out how the scientists were trying to raise us.” Tegan shrugged. “Comparing how we were raised could actually tell you a lot about their goals and how they’re willing to accomplish them.”

“While you do have a point, I don’t care about that nearly as much as I want to know the parts of your life that I cannot be a witness to. They made us lose so much time, and there’s really only one way for us to make up for it, and that is what I plan on doing.” Sara shrugged.  

“There’s not much to tell about my childhood,” Tegan muttered, cheeks growing pink.

“There will probably be more than you think there is.” Sara winked. “Besides… Occurrences aren’t all that I’m intrigued by. I’d loved to be immersed in the particularities of your childhood. Tell me anything.”

“Um… Well… when I was a toddler I used to throw my Care Bears doll-bear things off the balcony.” Tegan said after a second. “At first I wanted to make them fly and let them go outside whenever they wanted, but then I realized that Bruce would take me outside to go get them if I did it.” Sara laughed.  

“That is winsome.” She commented. “How much did you do it?”

“I didn’t do it in kindergarten, but once I found out that I wasn’t going back to public school and wouldn’t be able to go outside every day, I started throwing the bears again,” Tegan answered. “I was six when some bratty ass kid stole the bear before we could get to it. So, to make me feel better, Bruce got ice cream for me, even though it was almost October.”

“Did it help?” Sara asked softly.  

“Yeah, for a little while,” Tegan smiled, recalling. “But then I realized that my bear was gone forever… And then I started crying again and started carrying my other one with me at all times and I’d throw a fit if my parents tried to take it away from me.”

“I did not possess many dolls or stuffed animals as a youngling,” Sara remarked. “If I did, I’d lose my interest quickly, and find something else that I was more interested in. My father did not encourage playing with dolls or anything of the sort when I was young. I mainly received them as gifts. Once I began reading and writing, I absorbed whatever I was able to read. My father felt that reading was much better for me.”

“Did you ever draw or color?” Tegan asked.

“Yes. To this day I highly enjoy drawing. When I was young, I was rather accomplished at coloring neatly, and my father didn’t mind that hobby. I rarely ever do it in the company of others, or let anyone see.” Sara shrugged. “But if you would like, I might show you a few. But in person. Cameras tend to require lighting that I do not feel up to wrestling with.”

“What kinds of things do you like to draw?” Tegan inquired.

“Holiday and Mickey are obvious subjects,” Sara answered, a slight smile on her face. “But I quite like to depict nature. Unless a person intrigues me enough, I never have much of an interest in drawing them, however.”  

“Do you do any other types of art?” Tegan strongly wished to see her sister’s art.  

“No, not really.” Sara sighed. “Some like to paint, but I consider myself a perfectionist, and working with fluids in my art would possibly frustrate me as they are not always facile to control. I always begin with a sketch, and then carefully replicate it in color, if I plan on doing that. In my opinion, charcoal is bad enough. I don’t necessarily appreciate how it smears. It’s besmirching and gets everywhere, especially if you do not adorn your hands with gloves, which, while they keep my hands immaculate, I am disinclined towards.”

“Why?”  

“My hands perspire within them,” Sara explained. “Sweat and bodily fluids are noisome to me.”

  “I’m sorry if this is going to come off as rude, but how do you have two cats if you don’t like dirty stuff?” Tegan bit her lip, hoping her sister wouldn’t be offended.

"It is not impertinent at all,” Sara assured her. “And from you, it is a legitimate inquiry. The answer to that is I relish the camaraderie. Cats are also quieter than most animals, and they are soft and furry; therefore good for cuddling, unlike fish. They are superlative companions for a person of my like. Ideally, I’d only have one, but I wouldn’t wish the loneliness of being the only one home while I’m away upon either of them. They are not siblings, but I even bring them to the veterinarian together. I don’t believe that anyone should be truly lonesome in this world.”

“You sound like a really great pet owner,” Tegan said shyly.  

“I love both of them more than I love my father,” Sara confessed with a slightly forced smile. Her eyes said that she was ashamed, but trying to play it off as a joke. Tegan carefully took Sara’s hand.

“You can feel however you want,” Tegan informed her softly.  

“I know. I’m just homesick for a disparate existence, is all.” Sara replied. That threw Tegan off slightly, but it began to make a lot more sense once she thought about it, and within seconds the feeling was mutual.

“I get it,” Tegan whispered. She swallowed. “After everything that’s happened, especially without our knowledge… I feel like we have a right to love or not love whoever, for whatever reason.”

“I never thought of it that way,” Sara commented. “Thank you.”  

“For what?” Tegan furrowed her eyebrows.

“You verbalized what I feel but have never articulated myself.” Sara’s smile was wistful.  

“Talking is honestly easier with someone who understands,” Tegan remarked. “You know how I feel about things because, at the core, we’re alike.”

“We were created from the same components.” Sara squeezed Tegan’s hands.

“We were…” Tegan rested her head against Sara’s shoulder. “It’s kind of hard to get over the fact that I have a sister. And a twin at that.”

“You’re correct.” Sara agreed. “It’s still new. However, one day, do you feel as though we may become less infatuated with the idea that we have someone who understands?”

“Hard telling,” Tegan replied. “It might take a while… and we’d probably have to spend a lot of time together before that happened… And be used to talking about stuff. I mean, I’m not even used to having someone who understands what it’s like to be gay or even a teenager.” Sara was surprised, and then remembered: she and Tegan were both teenagers, lesbians, and most of all people, underneath the fact that they were superhumans. She’d been encouraged to forget abnormal parts of her identity until she became determined to hold onto those, and the others that were still important, just more accepted in society, slipped her mind.  

“I overlooked those facts myself,” Sara admitted quietly. “I didn’t want to be stripped of being superhuman, and I, myself, forgot parts of my own humanity.”  

“It’s not your fault,” Tegan said with a sigh. “It’s theirs.”  

“You may have a point. However, if we forget what we are, then we’ll allow everyone else to do likewise.” Sara replied, gritting her teeth. “And we cannot let that happen.” Tegan removed her hand from Sara’s. The younger twin was about to feel bad, but then she was enveloped in a hug.  

The two of them began to drift around for the next couple of hours, avoiding people (especially their parents) as they talked to one another about the little things. It turned out that they had a mutual fear of losing the other, but Tegan’s fears (which included spiders) tended to be smaller than Sara’s (emergency situations/crises). They had similar tastes in food, but Sara was a tad bit more adventurous and preferred fancier food for comfort than Tegan did. Their favorite color turned out to be the same: black. Though for different reasons: Sara felt that it was mysterious and possibly even romantic (added bonus that it looked good on her), while Tegan thought it looked cool and went with everything. Sara’s favorite gemstone was a garnet and Tegan’s was one called northern lights. Respectively, they preferred long sleeves and short sleeves, and they both liked sunset better than sunrise. Sara would rather read a Sherlock Holmes novel than a romance, but for Tegan, it was the other way around (though she didn’t object to a good mystery; it was just that Sherlock Holmes novels were written in a way that didn’t strike her fancy, and she was a bit of a hopeless romantic).

Eventually, they saw that time had run out for them to hide away together, and they almost dragged their feet as they reluctantly returned to the hotel rooms, hand in hand with one another. They were reprimanded to a certain extent by their parents, but the twins didn’t care that much. They simply packed their bags and continued talking to each other about random and simple preferences of each other.  

When it was time for them to part ways, they hugged; clinging to each other and letting tears fall as they whispered their goodbyes. Sara kissed Tegan’s forehead softly before she was led out by her father. Tegan tearfully reached out at her twin as though she could will her sister to be able to come back and never leave. Sonia comforted her, saying that it was all for the best and that she’d see.  

As soon as Tegan got back to her room for a moment of privacy, she got on Snapchat to message Sara.

Tegan: Hey Sara! I miss you already!!!!!

Hours later, Sara’s reply came, and Tegan grinned brighter than she had in a long time, both relief and happiness painting her features.

Kate : Hi Tegan, I have arrived home. I miss you as well!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just to remind you guys, kate is Sara's name on snapchat so that sonia doesn't realize that she's talking to sara


	6. Chapter 6

Sara had never before desired to walk about with her eyes cast down at her smartphone; when she was a small child, her father and other Harvard professors had indoctrinated her basic manners and safety they, as older people, believed in. She had simply learned that to preoccupy oneself when traveling, especially on foot, would lead to consequences.

For example, tripping or bumping into someone, or possibly offending a person who was trying to be friendly by waving or something of that value. Sara had come to the conclusion that this was a reasonable rule to follow in her life. Besides, they had told her that she wasn't like other people; therefore, she should hold herself to a higher standard and act educated, as she was far more intellectual than the average person, and should even be proud of that fact. As an adolescent, Sara had figured out that people liked her better when she dumbed herself down and strayed from the rules she had been laid out with when she was little and began to do so whenever she wanted something from someone, but she never really ignored the rules when she was alone. So, internally, her desire to check her phone and see Tegan's reply (or if there even was one) rumbled like an earthquake, whilst her countenance reflected a calm day at sea with no wind; where the water was so calm that it almost appeared that it was glass rather than a fluid.

Thankful that no neighbors were within the vicinity to slow down her arrival home by any length of time, Sara swiftly let herself into the apartment and locked the door behind herself. Holiday and Mickey were underfoot as she carefully put all of her outdoor things into their proper places. Her shoes were lined up parallel to all of the other pairs on her shoe rack next to the door. Her coat was neatly hung on the coat rack; Sara carefully smoothing out any folds that could potentially turn into wrinkles. Her bag with her new library books went next to her desk in her spare bedroom.

Sara sat down in the chair, letting out a breath in the placid apartment. Holiday and Mickey had calmed down; lying on the carpet behind her desk chair. She pulled her smartphone out of her pocket, biting her lip; the only expression of the eagerness she felt about being to talk to Tegan.

When she saw that Tegan had replied with practically an entire paragraph talking about how her mother was hovering and that it was unfair because Tegan was eighteen and should be able to leave behind the days of her mother snooping, thank you very much, Sara inwardly grinned but maintained her neutral facial expression. Oh, how she adored her sister.

Kate: Perhaps go out more, and refuse to take questions? Then she might learn to leave you alone.

Sara's heart jumped when the blue dot that signaled that Tegan was online showed up. She allowed herself a faint outward smile.

Tegan: I'm not used to that tho

Tegan: I feel like she's just gonna be able to make me talk, you know?

Tegan: Despite me telling her that it's not her business.

Tegan: Like, she's gonna pull the "I'm your mother" card and I'll feel bad

Kate: The trick is to be stubborn and not give in.

Tegan: Yeah, but I don't know how to do that. :P

Kate: Just keep trying. Eventually, you will achieve your goal.

Tegan: Enough about me and my mommy issues

Tegan: What have u been up to?

Kate: I just returned from the library with some new books.

Tegan: Anything else?

Kate: You have such high expectations for me and my daily life lol. No, nothing else happened that is worth mentioning. I showed you Holiday and Mickey, and they are more exciting than anything else in my life.

Tegan: Honestly i kinda thought you'd be more of a party animal

Tegan: Cuz ur kinda rebellious and like

Tegan: According to TV and movies that's what rebellious kids to :P

Kate: Sorry to disappoint you, but I do not partake in those activities as I am more of a book with a glass of wine type of woman. ;)

Tegan: U are rebellious tho

Kate: I am aware of this truth lol.

Tegan: I wish I was more like you

Tegan: I wouldn't be so nervous and weird in public :/

Tegan: I'd know how to talk to ppl and make friends

Sara's face fell slightly. Oh, how Tegan seemed to look up to her. But Sara didn't feel that she was anyone to look up to. She knew that if she were to caution Tegan of this fact, her sister wouldn't like her as much, so perhaps it was truly best if Sara just let Tegan figure things out herself. Besides, Tegan was a teenager (as was Sara); if warned against something, she'd go against what she was told simply because she didn't want to be told what to do or how to think, the way the two of them had with each other, and Sara had once she'd experienced the revelation that her father wasn't right about everything, and she should think for herself.

Kate: Perhaps you should go out and gradually grow more comfortable in public. But make sure you don't hide behind that hair of yours.

Tegan: It's a habit!

Tegan: I'm basically an ostrich DX

Kate: Except you are much smarter and stronger than an ostrich. And you have the power to change yourself.

Tegan: Awww so inspirational and sweet 3

Sara's heart fluttered with warmth as she stared at the message. Tegan was such a warm and sweet person… People just needed to realize that, and then they'd love her.

This made jealousy whisper into her, but Sara pursed her lips and decided to ignore it. She shouldn't be jealous of anyone for how close they might be to Tegan; Sara was closer than anyone could ever be. She knew things that no one else could ever be allowed to know. Besides, she had instantly won Tegan's love and affection just by existing, and vice versa. There was no reason to be jealous.

Kate: Hah, most would disagree with that statement, you know. You are the only person who thinks that way.

Tegan: D:

Tegan: How?

Kate: I'm not a warm person, the way you are. I do not enjoy people.

Tegan: Really?

Tegan: All i've ever wanted was to be able to be around people like a normal kid….

Kate: I was not around normal people; you must remember. I grew up surrounded by Harvard students and professors.

Tegan: I know i got to go to kindergarten but like

Tegan: I wish i could meet people

Tegan: I was so lonely as a kid

Tegan: Don't you get lonely?

Sara almost typed the word no and moved on, but she backspaced and paused. This was Tegan. Sara wouldn't allow herself to lie to her sister; Tegan deserved the truth from Sara. She couldn't fuck up this relationship, the way she sabotaged every other one night stand with any girl in order to make them not want to see her again. Each time it worked. But Tegan was special. There was no other person like Tegan in the world besides Sara, and so she couldn't ruin this for herself or Tegan.

Kate: I didn't used to.

Sara stared at the four words she had sent, feeling vulnerable and exposed. She felt a bit like she should elaborate and took a deep breath before continuing the thought.

Kate: And then I met you. Previously to that, I did not know that I could feel so fulfilled and happy. Maybe people do when in the company of close friends, but I would not know that.

Tegan: I know how you feel.

Across two countries and an ocean, Tegan sat in her room, head resting against the wall as she sat on her bed, staring at the screen of her phone. Out of habit, she hadn't left the apartment since she'd gotten home. It was her turn to take a deep breath and admit something she felt ashamed of.

Tegan: I'm scared to leave the apartment alone.

Kate: It's not your fault. We grew up with rules that were supposed to keep us afraid of anyone and everything. Our parents did what they could to build up our reliance upon them and their rules.

Tegan: What do we do about it?

Kate: Practice until we are able to resist old habits, I suppose.

Tegan: I guess I'm going to have to work harder at getting myself to go outside

Tegan: I can't believe how much i did in order to leave this place when i was a kid

Tegan: Now i'm an adult and i'm too scared to leave.

Kate: It's alright, Tegan. There's nothing wrong with the way you feel; it will take time for those feelings to go away, but I promise I have gone through my own share of that species of fear that I had to get over in order to go to college in the UK.

Tegan: I should work through this.

Tegan: Ok, tomorrow i'm gonna go for a walk and then come home and then later go get coffee

Tegan: I'm going to do repeated exposure til i'm desensitized

Kate: That is a method I used, and it worked for me. If you find yourself nervous, it helps to have something to grip, which anchored me. May I suggest a few scrunchies? They are small and keep one from hurting their hand.

Tegan: Thank you so much

Tegan: It's still so weird to have someone who understands how I feel

Kate: It is still strange for me too, but I rather like it.

Tegan: Me too, of course 3

Tegan: I have to go

Tegan: Bruce wants me to help around the house

Tegan: ttyl

Sara smiled wistfully at Tegan's farewell message. She didn't know that anyone could miss someone with the fervency with which she longed for Tegan. Sara felt like she had been a desert all her life until Tegan was an emerald green lake that formed from a rain that quenched the thirst Sara hadn't even known that she'd possessed. Now, she needed this to keep her from drying up and fading away.

Tegan felt differently about Sara, however, not in a bad way. Before meeting or knowing about her, Tegan had been a mountaintop covered in snow and ice, only having seen winter. And then Sara, the warmth of spring and the heat of summer, arrived and melted the ice and snow; chasing away the cold that Tegan had just unquestioningly accepted as part of her life. She needed Sara to grow and flourish; she couldn't go back to winter ever again.

They both desperately wanted to live together and be able to touch and see each other's faces daily, but they each knew that they weren't ready for that. They needed time to get to know each other and sort through some of their respective issues on their own. Sara certainly didn't want Tegan to see how horrible she was with dealing with people in an academic setting, and Tegan would have cried with shame if Sara were to see her so unable to talk be in public. Space was good for them. That didn't stop them from talking, nor did anything stop them from talking about their problems. They had nobody but each other. Obviously, neither had friends, and their parents were the ones who had led them to be this way and to need help dealing with things that would have seemed so utterly simple to so many others.

Each day the twins worked towards self-improvement and did their best to grow closer. Sara practiced small talk in the mirror, meanwhile, Tegan practiced her coffee shop order and breathing exercises as she reminded herself that she was allowed to go out in public, that she wouldn't get in trouble. Talking about how each of them improved, and how they could do better next time made them more comfortable with each other than they had previously thought possible. It was becoming obvious that their imaginations were heavily limited when it came to their relationship as sisters, and their relationships with literally anyone else.

Tegan figured out that it was easier to pretend that she needed a napkin from that table's dispenser and continuing the conversation from there rather than just randomly saying hi. She realized that there was a group of college freshman girls who liked to hang out in the particular coffee shop she frequented. Based on things they said, Tegan figured that they were gay. After all, what straight girls talked about trying to flirt with the female barista? She promised herself that she would one day talk to them. They seemed nice, but Tegan just wasn't ready yet.

Meanwhile, Sara practiced participating more in class discussions and began approaching people to extend upon ideas introduced in class that she took a fancy to. She found that people in her classes didn't need her to simplify the way she spoke, and were able to talk to her despite her tendency to reject emotion as reasons to do anything. Most everyone else was perturbed by her personality, but this step made it easier for her talk to people, and she was even able to be friendly with her new neighbor from across the hall; a lovely girl named Emy who was a few years older, who quickly demonstrated signs of being attracted to Sara.

Despite all that they were doing to strive towards self-improvement, each twin missed her sister. There was nobody that could take the place of the other; no words or touch that could make them forget the longing they felt for the person who felt like their missing puzzle piece.


	7. Chapter 7

Every morning, both Tegan and Sara awoke to a message from the other on Snapchat, talked with one another throughout the day, and fell asleep with her phone charging on her bedside table after having messaged the other. Sonia never asked Tegan about ‘Kate’, so Tegan concluded that her mother hadn’t figured out her passcode and gone through her phone. Tegan made sure to go out every day for a longer period of time every time and eventually managed to make friends with the girls her age who happened to attend UC Berkeley. None of them had ever had Sonia as their professor, as they were only freshmen, which relieved Tegan for reasons only Sara could explain.

She didn’t tell them about Sara or her abilities; she just explained that she was very sheltered as a kid and never gave an explanation why; merely shrugged her shoulders when they asked questions. This group turned out to be extremely liberal aside from being gay, and they belonged to a larger group of friends, so Tegan had a decent amount of friends through this. Sonia seemed to not know how to feel about this development. She urged Tegan to be careful around these friends and to not smoke pot or drink. Tegan nodded like the good girl she once was, but secretly drank and smoked with these friends. It was in her nature to keep her mouth shut about Sara and her being superhuman, so she didn’t reveal anything serious when drunk or high. Her friends invited her to tag along to frat and sorority parties, and Tegan had a great time. Sonia wasn’t particularly fond of Tegan going out but thankfully didn’t turn it into an argument.  

Meeting Sara had changed Tegan’s world. Tegan’s life had improved drastically since they’d learned about each other; she had been afraid of people talking to her at first, but now she was able to approach her friends and tell them about the funny thing she’d seen online. She was confident, and with practice, started talking to girls flirtatiously. She’d even had the courage to get a labret piercing, thanks to encouragement from her friends.

Tegan became particularly close with one girl in the group named Lindsey. After several weeks, they began to spend time alone together. One night in Lindsey’s dorm, Lindsey kissed her. Tegan liked Lindsey and had picked up on the fact that Lindsey liked her, but had been too afraid to make a move herself. Sara had nudged her along; telling Tegan to go at her own pace, but not be afraid to make the plunge if she was ready.  

A few weeks after they had kissed, Tegan slept with Lindsey at a party. But she had to quickly dress and go home afterward because Sonia had asked her to come home. Sonia seemed to have an idea as to what was going on, but she had no proof. Tegan and Lindsey found time to have sex without anyone else knowing. They weren’t technically dating and had never had the conversation to become anything more.  

Meanwhile, Sara still lived alone with her cats, attended class, and got grades at the top of her class. Occasionally she slept with some girls, but never at her own apartment because she didn’t want to scare Holiday and Mickey. Besides, she preferred a quiet night in with some red wine. Sara’s life was pretty relaxed, especially compared to Tegan’s. She chose not to have friends except for the people she’d talk to during her classes and Tegan.  

Tegan was technically Sara’s best friend if she had to have one. But nobody needed to know that Sara had a sister. She felt kind of protective about that information and just steered the conversation away from her own life. People liked to talk about themselves, as she’d figured out. And the people she talked to seemed to pick up on social cues and learned not to ask about her life because they understood that she liked her privacy and having plenty of alone time. She might not have been the warmest friend they had, but they did enjoy her company when she was in the mood to join them. They liked her mind and ideas, and she was sort of inspirational to them because she was so far along academically despite being only eighteen. They shared some of the same passions as her, and Sara finally found people who treated her like an equal, outside of Tegan.

Sara put Tegan’s messages before anything else whenever possible. They FaceTimed when they were both alone. Somehow almost months went by since Sara and Tegan turned eighteen. It did not feel like that for Sara. Tegan sent her a homemade holiday card that was hand painted and with glitter around the edges of the bubbly words wishing her happy holidays. Sara loved it, and made her own little version over snapchat, with a picture of her and Holiday that she’d drawn over, and a caption. Sara had decided to keep Tegan’s card on her desk inside her little office, and it was still there in early April.

It had been several months of living alone except for Holiday and Mickey. Sara lay down on her neatly made bed, staring at the ceiling after messaging Tegan.

Her phone vibrated, and Sara sat up to read the response.  

Tegan: Thought you’d never get out of class lol ;)

Kate: I always answer you in class though

(Sara eventually saw no point in typing the way she talked because she had realized that she could message Tegan back faster if she abbreviated and talked like everyone else, therefore getting more and faster replies from Tegan.)  

Tegan: yea but it’s not as fast as when ur not in class

Kate: what did you eat for dinner?

Tegan: Lindsey and I went to that cheap but good Chinese place and I’m rly full now

Kate: I don’t know what I’ll eat but it’s not even three yet

Tegan: are you using me to plan your own dinner??? ;)

Kate: You know I am… it’s hard to be creative sometimes ;P

Tegan: Are you going to apply for the job you talked about btw?

Kate: I don’t know I’m still thinking about what I want right now

Tegan: Short-term or long-term?

Kate: Both

Tegan: What do you want?

Kate: Can you call me right now? I want to say what I’m about to say voice to voice.

Tegan: I’ll call you once I’m outside.

Sara was startled when Tegan called her, even though she was expecting it.

“Hey, what’s up, Sasa?” Tegan chirped. Sara smiled at the nickname, as she always did. Tegan had sent her a drunken message and Sara had found it cute, so Tegan made it her pet name for Sara.

“I have decided that I have the necessity to approach you with a query,” Sara explained. “I do understand that you have an existence over there, but would you possibly be interested in coming to Cambridge to stay with me for a while? I feel as though we’re due for a visit. But only if you are able and would like to.”

“What? Really?!” Tegan exclaimed, excited. “How long do you want me to stay?” Sara smiled the warmest she had all day, which honestly was not a difficult feat.

“The continuance is up to you.” She replied. “For how long do you wish to sojourn?”  

“As long as you want me there,” Tegan answered.  

“I would not mind if you stayed until I achieve my doctorate, but only if you wished,” Sara said honestly. “Get to know one another even better…”

“I’m going to talk to Mum about ‘traveling’ in the morning,” Tegan promised. “I don’t know for sure when I’ll be able to come over there, but I’ll figure it out. I want to spend time with you. It’d be so cool to finally live with my sister.”

“I wasn’t aware that you would be this enthusiastic about my proposition, or else I would have presented the inquiry to you earlier,” Sara remarked. “I didn’t want to ask you too soon.”

“I didn’t want to come on too strong either.” Tegan grinned. “But I feel like we’ve known each other long enough, right? Sisters live in the same place without having known each other. We can live together after around five months.”

“You have also pointed out that after everything that has happened with us, we are entitled to feeling however we feel.” Sara reminded her.  

“That too.”

“So you’re really like to live here with me?” Sara asked, furrowing her eyebrows. “I know your family, friends, and memories reside in Berkeley…”

“It doesn’t matter. They can all live without me. And I’d rather spend some time with my sister. It’s been a while, and I still miss you every day.” Tegan confirmed. “It’d be nice to be able to freely spend time with you, and what better place to do it than out of the country?” Sara softly giggled at Tegan’s joviality.  

“Alright. I know that I’m keeping you from your time with Lindsey, so I shall let you go now.” Sara announced.

“Ok,” Tegan replied. Sara could practically hear the smile on her face but hung up. She sighed contentedly and began to put together a mental list of things she would need for Tegan’s stay with her. Of course, she’d have to go to Ikea to get a bed. The small sofa in the room would have to be moved, but it would have a home. She’d move her desk into the living room by the window. She’d have to purchase the foods that Tegan liked. She could barely wait.

After about a week, Tegan came to Sara with the news of when she’d get there. “Ok, Sasa. I’m going to first go to France because I promised Mum I wouldn’t go to the UK. I’ll arrive in Paris, and then take a train to Calais. From there I’ll take a ferry to Dover, and then I’ll take trains and taxis to Cambridgeshire.” Tegan explained. Sara felt herself get slightly choked up but cleared her throat.

“I can drive if you need me to come get you, at any point,” Sara promised.

“It’s a long drive, though. I don’t want to put you through that.” Tegan protested.

“If it’s to assure that you’re alright, it’s no bother to me,” Sara said. “I don’t want you lost in a foreign country.”  

“Ok, fine. I’ll call you if I get lost. But if you’re in class, you’re not leaving to come get me.” Tegan warned.

“That’s fair.” Sara sighed reluctantly. “Anyway, I’ve already started preparing the apartment for you. Is there anything you desire in your living space?”  

“Just a place to sleep, food to eat, a place to wash up, and good company,” Tegan replied cheekily. Sara smiled.

“Are you sure there’s nothing else you need?”

“Yeah. I don’t need much.” Tegan assured her. “I just want to be with you.”

On the day of Tegan’s travel day, she got up early in order to catch her ten and a half hour flight. Sonia cried as she hugged her daughter goodbye, and Tegan teared up a little bit, but she was comforted by the knowledge that she was going to go to her sister.  

For the most part, people seemed to ignore Tegan as she made her way around when traveling. If she needed help, they’d oblige in English. She was very tired and jetlagged once she was on the final leg of her journey. Things went pretty smoothly; nothing went horribly wrong. Of course, things weren’t perfect, but Tegan had only wanted a trip without any huge disasters. Eventually, she was running out of pounds and couldn’t pay for the last taxi ride to Sara’s apartment from the train station. As she promised, she called Sara, who said she’d be over as soon as she could to pick her up. So, Tegan sat on a bench with her suitcases surrounding her, and her backpack on her lap. A man sat down next to her and began reading a newspaper, his ankle resting on the other knee; his arms spread wide with the newspaper. Tegan pretended to be playing a game on her phone.  

“Are you visiting someone?” He asked her, his accent indicating that he was a local. She was startled, and carefully scooted more against the arm of the bench at the side she sat upon. She was unsettled by him for some reason.

“Yeah… My sister.” Tegan answered reluctantly.

“She lives here in Cambridgeshire?” The man folded his newspaper.

“Mm-hmm.” Tegan chewed on her lip. She wasn’t quite sure why she was so unsettled by these innocent questions.  

“I can tell by your accent that you’re not from here.” He observed. “Where’re you from?”

“America.” She decided to keep her replies short and singular if possible, as not to be rude, but as not to encourage him either.  

“I’ve wanted to go there.” He informed her. Tegan was trying to figure out what it was about him that made her feel unsettled.  

“Mmm.” She glanced at him and then realized: his body language said predator. He was taking up a lot of space, and therefore exerting dominance over the situation. If she had to, she’d push him away. She didn’t care how ‘important’ it was that she kept her secret; she’d use her strength to defend herself. Tegan briefly considered hiding out in the bathroom, but she decided against it, as she’d have to bring her luggage with her, and she wasn’t that desperate.

“Where in America are you from?” He pressed.  

“West.” Tegan fished her earbuds out of her pocket and put them in. She could still hear him talking to her.

“My name is Peter, by the way. What’s yours?” He asked, not deterred.  

“Tee,” Tegan replied.

“That’s it? That’s an interesting name.” Peter commented. “You’re quite beautiful, by the way.”

“I’m gay,” Tegan said quickly.  

“That’s a shame. I’d still like to have drinks with you, though.” Where was Sara?

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Tegan informed him. “I’m here to spend time with my sister.” She’d noticed that she’d been able to tell that Lindsey had feelings for her, and she could generally tell who was most likely to be friendly… But what about her made her do that? Peter looked like a perfectly nice man, but Tegan’s internal warnings were flashing at her. And Lindsey had only ever talked about past boyfriends.  

“That may be correct, but you don’t have to spend all of your time with her.” Robert was saying. “Perhaps you would like some other friends…”

“No thank you,” Tegan said. He kept trying to engage her in conversation, but she shut him down.

She was relieved when Sara appeared. She was also overjoyed, and got up and ran to hug Sara.

“I missed you so much!” Tegan whispered, her face almost buried in Sara’s neck.

“I coveted the arrival our reunion from the moment we departed,” Sara replied back. Tegan felt tears rising to her eyes.  

“Sorry.” She said, smiling through happy tears. “I just really really missed you.”

“I know you did. I missed you just as much.” Sara smiled wider than Tegan had ever seen. “Allow me to assist you in retrieving your luggage.”

“Be careful of the man. He was trying to invite me for drinks even though I said no.” Tegan whispered. Sara nodded, and wordlessly took one of Tegan’s suitcases, and Tegan took the other. Peter attempted to engage in conversation with them, but the twins ignored him; instead chatting with each other as they put Tegan’s suitcases in the car and got in together.

“Are you cold?” Sara asked, gesturing at Tegan’s attire as she pulled out of the parking lot.

“Yeah,” Tegan admitted, grinning. Her jacket was thick and puffy, and on top of that, she had a beanie, scarf, and gloves. “I mean, I grew up near San Francisco, but fuck; this is freezing.

“We’re just fortunate that it’s not raining for the moment. You may have to forget what the sun looks like.” Sara teased.

“Oh god.” Tegan groaned. “I thought of that, but I didn’t actually realize what it’d mean.”

“Precipitation in summer. The horror.” Sara joked.  

“I have rain and snow gear, but I have way more short sleeved t-shirts and jeans than I do that stuff,” Tegan explained.

“I have ample that you may use as needed,” Sara assured Tegan. “We are very close in size.”

“There’s this joke about how when you move in with your same-sex partner, your closet doubles in size.” Tegan blurted out. She wasn’t quite sure why she said that and felt her cheeks growing pink.

“Usually, sisters move out from one another after years of fighting over whom each article of clothing belongs to,” Sara remarked. “But here we are doing the opposite. Perhaps, in an effort to regain all of the years that were stolen from us, we should attempt to simulate such an incident.” Tegan noted the smirk on Sara’s face, concluding that her sister was not being serious.

“I don’t ever want to fight with you,” Tegan announced. “It’s usually over stupid stuff, and you mean too much to me for me to get mad over something as dumb as taking my jacket without asking. Like… If you put into perspective what we’ve had to cope with, it’s not that big of a deal.”

“That’s very true. But I promise that I will not take anything of yours without your consent.” Sara vowed.  

“I won’t mind a whole lot even if you do.” Tegan shrugged. “I’m fine with sharing pretty much all of my stuff with you.”

“You are entitled to having privacy from me, despite being in my flat,” Sara said cautiously. “I don’t want for you to feel that you ought to do anything simply due to the fact that you’ve accepted my hospitality, which I offered.”

“I understand.” Tegan attested. “I just don’t want to miss out on all of the stuff that all other sisters experience. Part of that is usually sharing clothes.”

“As you wish.” Sara smiled at Tegan, winking. The elder twin felt a slight flutter inside her gut from that one little glance. She came to the conclusion that all the anticipation was giving her a physical reaction, and she just needed to calm down a little bit. They caught up with one another during the rest of the drive back to Sara’s apartment. Sure, they had been constantly talking, but some things they hadn’t yet told one another, as time differences cut into their time talking, and sometimes they got distracted by other things.  

“So tell me more about your friends.” Tegan pressed. “You know all the gory details about what happened with me and my friends, and especially with Lindsey.”

“There really is not much to disclose,” Sara replied, shaking her head. “They like me, but I’m not truly very interested in their camaraderie.” Sara was convinced that she was one of those people who just sort of used people and manipulated them so that Sara could get what she wanted out of them (sometimes it was just to keep her company, and others it was a discussion about a class), and really only being friends with them on her own terms, but Tegan insisted that Sara was just not very good at knowing what friendship was like.

“You’re just not a people person.” Tegan countered, as she always did. “Your opinion of yourself is shockingly low.”

“It’s not low. I am perfectly self-assured.” Sara protested. “I am simply honest with you about my intentions with others.”

“It’s not like you’re doing anything harmful,” Tegan explained. “You’re just having them do things friends generally do.”

“If anything, you are my only friend, and my neighbor Emy is my acquaintance. I cherish her company more so than that of my classmates.” Sara replied.  

“Didn’t you sleep with her?” Tegan asked, raising an eyebrow, recalling a story Sara had told her a couple of months previously.

“On multiple occasions.” Sara shrugged. “That doesn’t mean that she and I are incapable of friendship. You and Lindsey never engendered an actual romantic entanglement.”

“I would have, but I’m still figuring myself out.” Tegan sighed. “I don’t know what I can do with my powers. I don’t even know where my abilities end and I begin. I don’t want to enter a relationship without knowing that.”

“I have often deliberated over that as well. I doubt I’d be the same person without my enhanced intelligence.” Sara confessed.  

“I think you got the better end of the deal.” Tegan wrinkled her nose. “You got the super brain and you could have gone to school with other kids if you’d wanted.”

“Your brain is not nearly as unremarkable and prosaic as you presume,” Sara informed her. “I believe you have expressed some gifts in certain ways of thinking that I may not possess.”

“It’s not ‘if one doesn’t have it the other does’ though.” Tegan pointed out.  

“I am cognizant of this truth.”  

“Do you want to see what we can do?” Tegan whispered as though the car was bugged. “I kind of want to test myself…”

“Not at the moment,” Sara said reluctantly. “Perhaps once summer has commenced, as it is my longest break, we will be able to concentrate on that. I’d hate to be distracted from an important investigation by my studies. Besides, it might be best if we are able to live with one another before we find out if we are able to hurtle large pieces of furniture with our brute strength.” Tegan erupted into giggles at the last sentence, and Sara grinned.  

“It’s actually really hard for me to imagine you throwing a couch,” Tegan admitted after she’d calmed down.

“Is it because I look so enervated and delicate?” Sara inquired, raising an eyebrow. She searched for a parking place, as they had arrived at the street of her apartment building.  

“Well… Yes and no.” Tegan answered honestly. “You seem too sophisticated to have a grunt power like super strength.”

“I am perfectly capable of hoisting your suitcases with ease. Your mother was unable to do so.” Sara pointed out. “You have observed me accomplishing said task.”

“I know I have, but still. Also, speed seems a little more your style, but you really seem more like you’d have control over the Force from Star Wars.” Tegan explained. “But like, without the hand movements. You seem like you could control everything with your mind. People too.”

“Mind control and telekinesis are both biologically impossible by my father’s calculations.” Quipped Sara, pulling into a parking space, and stopping the car.

“We were artificially created, given enhanced abilities, and you’re saying that superpowers can’t be a thing?” Tegan raised an eyebrow. She was teasing Sara.

“The ones you mentioned are,” Sara answered, getting out of the car. Tegan exited the vehicle as well; both of them grabbing a suitcase to bring inside. “Telepathy, flight, heating, freezing, laser vision… None of those are possible. Trust me.”

“We’ve come so far in modern science, and the scientists of the world seriously can’t do any of that?!” Tegan almost burst out laughing at her own words. Sara just smiled down at her shoes. For her, it felt so strange being the product of some of the most advanced science that the US government was capable of, and simply existing in the same world as everyone else. Eight years of practice at getting used to the idea had failed her. Her humanity was all most everyone saw, and then her superhuman abilities seemed to be all that her father saw. But Tegan made her feel like whom and what they were was normal; what they could do was normal. Tegan’s company in person was so different from simply talking to her through a screen, and even hearing her voice. Sara felt like she was home. Tegan felt like home. She had referred to her apartment as home, and Holiday and Mickey as her family, but even before Tegan had arrived, Sara knew that it would feel complete because with Tegan she felt complete.

But not in a way that indicated that she wasn’t a complete person on her own. She was simply lonely without someone like her. Emy was enough of a substitute because she was gay and liked art (so much so that she was pursuing a career in it, though Emy was not studying at Cambridge… that partially drew Sara into Emy; she wasn’t like a decent chunk of Sara’s classmates who acted too sophisticated, though those weren’t the ones Sara chose to spend time with), but even if Tegan didn’t share the same hobbies, she could totally be herself. Sure, Stephen was supposed to be her father, but he expected certain things from Sara. Tegan expected nothing. All she wanted was companionship; someone to relate to and be herself around, and Sara was more than happy to oblige. They honestly weren’t the same, but their similarities gave them the same desires.  

“Welcome to my humble abode,” Sara announced as she opened the door of her apartment, placing a hand in the middle of Tegan’s back and guiding her inside. Holiday and Mickey came trotting to the door in order to greet Sara, and possibly escape. Sara swiftly shut the door, placing Tegan’s suitcase down, and knelt to scratch Mickey’s head. “This is Mickey, and that’s Holiday…” She informed Tegan, gesturing at her cats. “I know that I have shown you pictures but I figured a real introduction…” She trailed off.  

“They’re so cute!” Tegan cooed with a grin, squatting down next to Sara; her luggage forgotten. She pulled off a glove so that Holiday could sniff her hand and figure out who she was.

“Holiday will require time in order to grow accustomed to you,” Sara warned. “I am not sure if our resemblance will assist the process, however.” Mickey ditched Sara in order to investigate who this new person was. Holiday rubbed against Sara’s leg. “Mickey, as he isn’t as intelligent as Holiday, is a lot more trusting, and will most likely love you rather quickly.”

“Aww… I love kittens.” Sara bit her lip, discreetly watching Tegan saying hello to her cats. She felt warm internally; a rare feeling. She stood up, silently taking a deep breath. “Now that you’ve had a chance to meet them, perhaps I should give you a tour now.” She announced as steadily as she could muster.  

“Ok,” Tegan smiled, standing up as well. Sara took Tegan’s now bare hand.

“So, we are in the living room, as you can see. The kitchen is over there, as you can also see. Feel free to eat whatever you wish, or buy whatever you would like.” Sara led Tegan to the linoleum of the kitchen area. There was a pair of bar stools at the counter. “In that closet is the washer and dryer, as I do not like going downstairs to do my laundry. There is an iron and an ironing board in there as well.” Sara swallowed. She felt strange. She cleared her throat, guiding Tegan into the short hallway. “This is the bathroom. Unfortunately, there is only one. But there is a shower/tub combination. The mirror doubles as a medicine cabinet as well… If you… If you have anything you need to place inside.” She swallowed. What was wrong with her? When she brought Emy into her apartment, all she’d needed to say was ‘The bathroom is the door closest to us on the left in the hallway.’ “Those two doors are the bedrooms. The one on the right is mine, and the one on the left shall be yours.” Sara opened the doors to each and allowed Tegan to look or even go inside if she so desired. Both rooms were neat, and the only real personal touch that seemed to be in either of the bedrooms was the large bookshelf by the window in Sara’s bedrooms. In fact, the entire apartment looked like something almost out of a magazine though the furniture was plainer and more sensible looking.  

Sara took hold of her wrist with her other hand, trying to will herself to keep it together.  

“Snap out of it.” She murmured to herself under her breath as Tegan checked the view in her own bedroom’s window.  Sara was fortunate enough to have an apartment at the corner of the building. She preferred it that way as there would be fewer neighbors.

“I love the apartment,” Tegan said. It was smaller than the one she’d grown up in, but this one felt more like home already. After all, she was with her sister.

“Thank you,” Sara replied. “If you require anything, do not hesitate to request whatever it is. Once you have unpacked and settled in a bit, I will show you where I keep my bicycle, and where the shops are.”  

“Should I get a job?” Tegan asked awkwardly.  

“Not if you don’t want to.” Sara shrugged. “My father pays for everything. The project that produced us remunerated very well, as does Harvard. I’ve never had a job, but if you’d like it as something to do; by all means, do what you’d like.”

“Ok.” Tegan smiled and hugged Sara. The younger twin quickly wrapped her arms around Tegan; returning the embrace. “Thank you for letting me be with you,” Tegan whispered.  

“I want you here, but only if you desire to be here,” Sara answered softly.

That night, they ordered a pizza and Tegan had her first legal beer and her first one with her sister. They sat on the couch together, with Mickey sitting between them on top of the blanket that covered Tegan’s lower half. It was the first time Tegan had seen Sara in a T-shirt, and also the first time she saw Sara’s tattoos. There was a movie in the background, but it was practically on mute while they talked. Tegan, jetlagged and not having slept since she woke up to leave for her flight, fell asleep on the couch a half-eaten slice of pizza on the plate in her lap, and her second beer only barely consumed. She awoke on top of her bed in her new room; the yellow striped blanket covering her and keeping her warm.


	8. Chapter 8

Tegan found that in person, Sara wasn’t very chatty all of the time, especially in mornings. She’d reply if Tegan spoke to her, but she wouldn’t say anything first unless she had her first two mugs of coffee. Sara also went to bed at ten PM and woke up between seven and eight AM, as she didn’t have any classes before nine AM. She also tended to walk out of her room wearing what she would wear for the rest of the day. The only time Tegan ever saw Sara not fully dressed was when Sara left the bathroom wearing a bathrobe with a towel around her shoulders and an armload of used clothes. Meanwhile, Tegan would walk out of her bedroom in a large T-shirt, boxers, and socks with a blanket wrapped around herself in the mornings.

Sara had a tendency to sit at her desk for hours doing something; usually with headphones in. Tegan decided that it would be best not to disturb her because either Sara was working on her art, or something related to her classes, and either way, she didn’t want Sara to ever be upset with her.

At first, Tegan thought that she’d invaded Sara’s privacy and that her sister didn’t actually want her there. Then two weeks into staying with Sara, her sister had invited her out to lunch one day after Sara’s ten AM class; the only class that day. The restaurant was shockingly nice, and Tegan was thankful that Sara had loaned her a solid colored button up to wear.

“I very much like seeing you every day,” Sara informed Tegan. “It feels normal. Holiday and Mickey have taken a liking to you as well.” Sara was right about that. Tegan would find the cats sleeping on her bed, or they’d come up to her and rub against her so she’d pet them.  

“It’s nice here… It’s pretty peaceful.” Tegan replied.  

“Remind me to acquaint you with my neighbor, Emy ,” Sara said, thinking aloud. “I think you’d like her. She’s a very friendly person. Besides, it seems that you’d like something to do all day.”  

“I’ve just been chilling.” The elder twin shrugged. “You have classes to attend and stuff you have to do, so I’m fine binge watching Netflix and stuff like that when you’re not available to do stuff.”

“You know there is a bar a little ways away, right? I believe I showed you. There is also a café. Perhaps you’d like to go to those places.” Sara suggested. “I might even bring you on campus with me and introduce you to my classmates. I think you may prefer life here if you had friends. Especially since I do all of the cleaning in the apartment, which leaves little for you to attend to besides cooking sometimes. Not that I’m suggesting that you need to clean, after all; I enjoy it.”

“Maybe I should get a job,” Tegan said.  

“Only if you desire to do so.”  

“I need to get my ass off your couch.” She decided.  

“I’m fine with your rump adorning my furniture.” Sara winked teasingly.

“Oh my god.” Tegan tried to stifle her laughter. She blushed, feeling slightly nervous, which was strange. The two of them were pretty close and could talk about all sorts of weird things together. Sara had even commented on how a sex scene looked, and neither of them had been embarrassed. So what was Tegan’s problem? Why did she feel this way? This was her identical twin sister…  

Sara’s eyes twinkled and her smile was almost devilish as she went on. “If you’ll remember, I asked you if you would like to stay with me, and that includes your derriere.” Tegan pinched her nose to try to quiet herself.  

“Fuck you.” She managed. But she realized that her wording was probably not the best in this particular situation.

“I’ve told you before; you are allowed to read my books.” Sara reminded her, sensing Tegan’s discomfort and moving on in the conversation.  

“I know,” Tegan bit her lip, hesitating before she decided to explain why she hadn’t made use of the large and full bookshelf. “I just… You kind of have all your books organized really nicely and I don’t want to mess that up. Also, on that note, I’m still worried about making you irritated with me so when I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go for a walk the other day I decided against it. And yeah… I just don’t want you to be upset with me at all.” She admitted quickly; her words in one large mumble. Had Sara been a normal human, she’d have needed to have all of that repeated to her, but unfortunately (or so Tegan though t ) she understood her sister’s words perfectly .

“That’s what has been preventing you from occupying your time with something other than watching videos on your laptop?” Sara raised an eyebrow. “I’ve told you that you are welcome in my home. Not just as my guest but as a resident. Is that why you have always taken a while to come back from grocery trips?”

“Yeah… I just… I didn’t want to take your bike in case you actually did need it.” Tegan felt slightly embarrassed, but she needed to get it off her chest. “Also that’s why I wouldn’t let you do my laundry.”

“Tegan,” Sara reached across the table and took her hand. “I asked you to live with me if you wanted to. You needn’t walk as though you are upon eggshells. I doubt I shall ever find it in myself to be angry enough to tell you to get out. It shall be a rare day that I do actually become angry with you, in that unlikely event.” Tegan looked up at her sister through her eyelashes. Sara was sitting up straight and had her head cocked ever so slightly to the side. That, mixed with Sara’s faint but warm smile, made Tegan’s gut flutter slightly. She took a deep breath and let it out.  

“Ok… I promise I’ll start actually living there.” Tegan chewed on her lip. “Also I think I should get a job because if I don’t do something with myself, I’m going to regret it.”

“That is your prerogative,” Sara replied, squeezing Tegan’s hand.  

Sara was relieved to see Tegan stop being so shy about doing stuff. She had been slightly concerned about her sister because she had been seeing signs of depression. Tegan honestly didn’t need to get a job, but when she applied and was accepted as a barista at a café nearby where Sara sometimes went with her friends, Tegan seemed to have settled in most of the way, as opposed to only partially. Sara was doing her best to get Tegan to realize that she was welcome to make this her home, though Sara was still adjusting to not being the only human in her flat. It also didn’t help that she was having strange feelings from the moment she reunited with her sister. So, Sara did her best to always be covered up and avoid awkward situations. She wasn’t much of a morning person and preferred quiet until she’d had her coffee, but she soon got used to Tegan talking to her in the morning, and that became a part of her routine.

Tegan’s shift at the café began at ten AM and concluded at four PM, and Sara found that she actually sort of missed Tegan when she wasn’t at the apartment. She started spending time with Emy and her classmates at the café and introducing them to her sister. She predicted that Tegan and Emy would hit it right off, and she was right. Emy even encouraged Tegan (Sara had too, but not as much as Emy did) to get the labret piercing and tattoos she wanted.

The end of March passed, and then April went by with the two of them living together. Sara found her strange feelings concerning Tegan to actually be blossoming rather than going away. She didn’t have to be an idiot to know sexual attraction when she felt it. After some research when she’d been on break that spring, she learned that it could be expected for siblings who didn’t grow up together to be attracted to one another. Needless to say, Sara kept it to herself. She didn’t think Tegan would want to know, and it could potentially harm their relationship as siblings. So, Sara went to bed earlier some nights and took care of herself in mornings where she was having trouble standing it in order to get it out of her system. Thankfully, nobody was on the other side of the wall to hear her.  

Sara pondered sleeping with Emy again. Perhaps that would get this way of thinking away from her twin sister. She knew it wasn’t a very good idea as soon as she mentally suggested it to herself. Emy was her and Tegan’s friend and Sara didn’t want to make things awkward between her and Emy; she couldn’t do that to Tegan. She decided to just find some willing girl that she’d never have to speak to again. She really didn’t want to lie to Tegan and say that she was going out with her friends, and she also didn’t want to make Tegan feel excluded. But Sara had an idea.

“Hello, Tegan. Emy.” Sara said as she entered the apartment. Tegan and Emy were sitting on the couch together, Mickey curled up right against Tegan’s leg, and Holiday lying splayed out on the floor.  

“Hey, Sara.” Tegan reached out, and Sara moved forward touch Tegan’s hand with her own. The two smiled. Tegan’s fingers lightly caressed Sara’s hand, and it was one of the best feelings she’d experienced all day.  

“Hi,” Emy waved.  

“How was class?” Tegan asked, lacing her fingers through Sara’s. The younger twin leaned against the back of the couch.

“It was alright. Finals are approaching.” Sara answered. It was early June. She and Tegan had been living together for three months. It was so comfortable and normal now , exactly the way she’d wanted it. However, Sara had not planned on her foreign feelings. It was fortunate that she and Tegan were not especially affectionate. They touched, but they didn’t cuddle or anything of the sort. Sara feared to ruin that for Tegan if her poor sister attempted such a show of innocent and sweet love. Tegan didn’t deserve to have that done to her. “I was thinking… Maybe the three of us and some of my classmates should go for drinks Friday night. Would you like that, Tegan?”

“Sounds like fun,” Tegan replied. “Let’s go to a club. We can dance and stuff.”

“Alright, but I don’t dance,” Sara warned.

“I don’t really either, but it’s more about the fun of it.” Tegan leaned her head against the top of the couch.

“Whatever you say.” Sara grinned; detaching her hand from Tegan’s in order to tussle her sister’s hair.   

“Do you want us to keep it down, or move it to my room?” Tegan offered. “Like, if you’re going to work in here…”

“We can go in my apartment, also.” Emy offered.  

“You don’t have to.” Sara shrugged. “I will be able to focus, I can assure you.”  

“Ok. Just let us know if we’re making too much noise at all.” Tegan bit her lip.  

“I will,” Sara promised. Tegan’s eyes followed her twin as she strode over to her desk and sat down. Tegan sighed softly, hoping that she wasn’t actually coming off as annoying, the way she feared. She didn’t know what she’d do if she found out that Sara found her annoying… Perhaps stay in her room forever and never ever speak again. Tegan constantly craved her sister’s approval. Perhaps it was because Sara seemed to have her life much more together than Tegan did. After all, Sara had a degree and cats. All Tegan had was a barista job.  

“What kind of club did you have in mind?” Emy asked.  

“The one nearby. Not the gay one.” Tegan explained. “I just want to have a good time. I’m—I’m not really looking to get laid. Or hit on.”

“Honestly it’d be nice to get hit on,” Emy confessed. She was five years older than Sara and Tegan were. “I want a girlfriend. I’m a bit tired of being single.” Emy was from the US as well; having always wanted to live in the UK. So, after she’d graduated college, Emy moved to the UK, where she’d eventually found a job and started a life. Emy had mistaken Sara for older than she was and asked her to drinks, and because Sara wasn’t truly interested in friendship, they’d slept together. But Emy wanted friends and had been so nice that even after the several times they’d slept together, they ended up being friends. Once Emy found out how much younger than she Sara was, they halted their sexual relations.  

“You’ll find someone. You’re still young, despite all of the ‘I’m old’ jokes you make.” Tegan prodded Emy’s leg with her socked foot.  

“You’re a fetus compared to me.” Emy rolled her eyes. “Though it’s easier to see that you’re still a teenager. Sara, however…” Emy’s cheeks turned a bit pink. Sara had been eighteen, and therefore legal since before the two of them had met in December. Neither of them was exactly ashamed of sleeping together, but Emy felt a bit weird about alluding to having sex with Tegan’s identical twin sister, especially since the twins were still teenagers.

“Yeah, she dresses pretty maturely.” Tegan shrugged. “And she carries herself like a twenty-something.”

“She also doesn’t live like a teenager, if that makes sense.” Emy continued slowly.

“If you’re going to talk about me, I’d prefer it if you two acted like normal people and did it behind my back.” Sara teasingly warned, turning to look at the two women on the couch.  

“Oh, shush, you.” Tegan stuck out her tongue. She looked adorable. Sara bit her own tongue to keep herself calm. She didn’t need to sexualize her relationship with Tegan, just because she’d fallen victim to the complexities of psychology.  

“Don’t make me come over there.” Sara managed. Her voice was lower and slightly deeper than usual and had the unintended effect of making Tegan squirm a little bit. Emy was confused as to what was happening and cleared her throat.

“I’m gonna get a glass of water. Tegan, do you want one?” Emy’s words were a bit rushed as she got up and headed into the kitchen.

“Yeah… I’m kind of thirsty. Water sounds good.” Tegan answered slightly nervously. Sara turned back to her laptop, taking silent but deep breaths in order to calm herself down. Tegan’s words hadn’t exactly helped, but Sara quickly got herself under control. This had to stop. She couldn’t be like this and live in the same place as Tegan. It wasn’t fair to her sister, especially since Emy left fifteen minutes later, claiming that she needed to go to the grocery store, but saying that she’d text Tegan.  

Sara was still working on her paper, and Tegan was still on the couch with Mickey and now Holiday. Neither of the twins had budged from her spot. They were aware that they should perhaps talk about what had happened, but that meant that one of them would have to bring it up, and again; neither of them made a move.  

“What do you want to eat… for—for dinner?” Tegan asked, fidgeting.  

“I don’t know. You do not have to cook anything. We can get takeout or have something delivered.” Sara replied, trying to sound as normal as possible. She succeeded to the point where Tegan believed that Sara had completely moved on from the little awkward spot, but in reality, Sara was scrutinizing every single one of her own actions and words.

“I don’t really know what I want,” Tegan muttered.  

“You can bide until you are actually hungry before settling on what to do for dinner. I’m alright with anything.” Sara offered.  

“Ok,” Tegan stretched. She picked up her own laptop from the coffee table and opened it. Sonia had warned Tegan against getting social media in case foreign countries figured out who she was and kidnapped and performed experiments on her. In reality, this was so that Sonia wouldn’t have to worry about anyone ever capturing Tegan doing something abnormal online (like hearing something that she shouldn’t have been able to hear, running faster than she should have, or lifting something that should’ve been too heavy), and her being tracked down. Besides, it kept Sonia from having to monitor her daughter’s actions on the internet. And it worked. Tegan was afraid of getting her own social media account in case anything like that happened. But that didn’t mean that she didn’t look at it.  

She spent awhile on YouTube, laughing and enjoying certain videos. She glanced up every now and then at Sara working.  

Sara finished her first draft of her paper, then went over it and changed things until she saw nothing wrong with it. She had just been assigned this essay that day and thanks to her speed and her mind, she was able to finish it within a few hours of starting. She stood up from her desk and turned to Tegan.

“Would you like to go out, or would you prefer to eat here?” Sara inquired.  

“Oh, um… Here I guess. But if you want to go out I’m fine with that too.” Tegan answered quickly.

“I would prefer to stay here, but we do not have to do that,” Sara replied. “I’m in the mood for Italian food, though we do not have to have that. What do you want?”

“I’ve kind of got a pasta craving too,” Tegan admitted, grinning lopsidedly. “Also garlic bread… Does any place deliver?”  

“No, but I can get takeout,” Sara promised. She sighed. “Will you please make the call for me?” Sara had phone anxiety and detested being put on the spot for anything because she always made mental plans whenever she had to do something. But being put on the spot would wreck her efforts. So, Tegan made Sara’s phone calls for her whenever possible.  

“Yeah, of course.” Tegan set her laptop aside and carefully got off the couch in order to avoid disturbing the cats as Sara looked through the menu online on her phone. Sara jotted down what she wanted and then offered the cell phone and the pen to Tegan so that she could get what she wanted.

Half an hour later, they got in the car together to go retrieve their food. Sara had offered to go get it herself, but Tegan protested, saying that half of it was her own food, so Sara shouldn’t have to retrieve all of it on her own (even if Sara was perfectly capable of carrying it on her own). So they went together. Tegan messed with the radio, trying to make sure that she found a station that Sara would like. She’d leave the music on one certain station for a brief moment, watch Sara’s reaction, and then change it because she saw no reaction from her sister.  

“As long as you like it, I will like it,” Sara said quietly and calmly. “I enjoy a wide variety of music. Just choose something you enjoy listening to, and I will most likely enjoy it as well.” Tegan nodded, and then went back to the pop station she’d just been on.  

Tegan’s phone began to vibrate. It was her mother. Her eyebrows furrowed due to her confusion as to what to do. Her heart rate picked up. After all, she had been ignoring her mother’s calls since she arrived in England. Sara glanced at the cell phone and leaned over to swipe to accept the call. Tegan trusted her sister’s judgment and decided to answer it rather than hang up.  

“Tegan!” Sonia gasped.  

“Hi, Mum.” Tegan’s eyes widened as she realized what was really happening. She and Sara made eye contact, and the younger twin gave a single nod. Sara knew to not even whisper. Tegan was a bit nervous, but Sara had faith in her, so she knew that she could play her cards right.

“What do you have to say for yourself? It’s been months, and you finally pick up? I’ve left you so many messages!” Sonia was genuinely upset, and Tegan felt horrible.  

“I listened to all of them,” Tegan replied softly. “I texted you back…” She turned off the radio. She wasn’t lying. She had just needed to prevent her mother from tracking where she was.  

“Rarely.” Sonia snapped back. “I wasn’t even sure if you were alive.” Tegan knew this. She knew that her mother had been worried. But she couldn’t risk being separated from Sara. Tegan had figured out when to respond so that it was just enough for Sonia not to be completely worried. But she knew that it wasn’t enough.

“I was! I mean, I am. I’ve been really tired from traveling and exploring lately and I haven’t been having the best cell service when I wasn’t tired.” Tegan replied. “I’m sorry Mum… I know I fucked up.” The truth was that Sonia might’ve figured out some way to trace Tegan’s call, and she was scared of that happening. Tegan had still been trying to figure out when to finally accept a call from Sonia, but Sara had apparently already made the calculation in her mind.  

“Where are you right now?” Sonia asked coolly.

“Ireland.” Tegan blurted out. “I’m planning on going to Scotland next. I just got finished with Italy. I’ve just been moving around on whims.”  

“So you haven’t been to London?” Tegan knew that tone of voice from her mother. She was trying to figure things out. But Tegan knew that her mother was going to go this route, and was, therefore, prepared.

“Nah, it’s always cloudy in England, you know? I want to see pretty sights. Not just some drab city. Ooh, maybe I’ll go to Canada on my last leg of this trip.” Tegan chewed on her lip.

“Your bank account hasn’t been overly active,” Sonia remarked. “Looks like you’ve been finding places to stay.” Sonia seemed to know what Tegan was doing. Two were officially playing this game.  

“Lindsey had family in France, and they gave me a place to stay.” Tegan lied smoothly. “They have friends and more extended family, so I’ve been going to wherever sounds the best and where they have some family. I haven’t been able to go to Greece yet because of this, but I really want to want to go.” There was a pause.  

“Are you in a car?”

“Yeah, a taxi,” Tegan replied. “Hey, we’re close to my destination. Um… I’m really sorry about this, Mum, but I need to hang up. I have groceries and I don’t want to drop my phone or anything… wouldn’t want to have to get a new one… I’ll call you back; I promise.” She wouldn’t, and Sonia seemed to know this too

“Tegan, you are in trouble right now, and we both know that you’re perfectly capable of multitasking.” Sara made eye contact with Tegan at this moment and pulled over to the side of the road. Tegan made some fumbling noises and got out, shutting the door.  

“Ok, Mum… fine.” Tegan sighed as this was occurring. She saw that Sara had left some space between their—her—car and the one in front of them. “Whoops!” Tegan carefully dropped the phone in front of the wheel of the car and Sara proceeded to run over the phone, and then backed up. Tegan retrieved it, getting back in the car, and then effortlessly snapped the already mostly busted phone in half. It was unusable now. “It’s not going to be enough.” Tegan murmured the two halves in her hands. “She’s going to try to find me.”  

“My friends will hide you if we have enough warning that our parents are here.” Sara offered, her voice quiet.

“But what about you? What if they try to do something to you?” Tegan protested. “I can’t let them… I won’t just hide while they try to get to me through you.”

“What makes you think that I would let anyone do such a thing?” Sara asked, quirking an eyebrow; a dangerous edge to her voice. Tegan felt a shiver go down her spine and somehow end up as warmth between her legs. She bit her lip. “I will be able to take care of myself,” Sara promised. “I am simply concerned with getting you out of the way so that I will be able to do what I must.”

“You… You know how to make weapons?” Tegan’s eyes widened. She hadn’t thought of that until now. She’d never seen Sara with pepper spray or a Taser, or anything that would suggest that her sister planned on using anything but her strength and speed to hold off attackers.  

“I have taken science courses—especially chemistry courses—since I began attending college-level classes,” Sara replied calmly. “If I only took the required courses, I would likely be bored and not know what to do with myself during all of my free time.”  

“We’re still going to see what we can do with our abilities once your classes finish, right?”

“Affirmative,” Sara promised. “But perhaps we should draw up a plan for the present. I know how to hack from the summer I was fourteen. I can teach you.”

“Wait, you can hack into accounts and computers and stuff?” Tegan asked, raising her eyebrows.  

“I was rather bored, as I didn’t have very many classes that I was able to take. I taught myself the basics, and by the time I was using those, I found people online and in the library who could explain more to me.” Sara explained. “I believe you’ll be better at it than I am, however.” She parked the car near the Italian place.

“What do you mean by that?” Tegan asked as they went into the restaurant to pick up their food.  

“You are intelligent in a way that is different from my own, and you seem to be good at cause and effects, to put it simply.” Sara elaborated. “You are also able to read people well and sense patterns in things, and going off of that, can infer what will happen next. I first noticed this when we were hiding from our parents; you knew your mother well enough to know that you wouldn’t get in too much trouble.” As she was explaining this, she paid and they picked up the food and then exited the restaurant. “This ability is what makes you so popular compared to me. When you know someone well enough to predict everything, you know exactly what to do in order to keep their loyalty.”

“That’s different from your areas of intelligence?” Tegan was still confused as they got back in the car. She placed the bag with their meals in it between her feet to keep them steady.  

Sara nodded once, starting the car and beginning the drive back to the flat. “I have an excellent memory, and rarely actually forget things. I can hold information well. However, if things do not go according to plan, it can be difficult for me to focus. That is why I have trouble when I am put on the spot. My mind may move faster in general, but stress gives me difficulty in thinking clearly. Your mind works differently, and so you are more able to think on your feet.”

“Whoa.” Tegan murmured. “Sara, you’re selling yourself kind of short. You’re good at analyzing and picking stuff up… Especially the small things. I could never have picked up on our different styles of intelligence.”

“You subconsciously know that you are brilliant, Tegan,” Sara said simply. “It’s only because you’ve lived with your way of thinking your entire life, so you’re used to it. I only truly figured out that I think differently than most people when I was in my classes at Harvard. My tutors would tell me that my mind was special, of course, but I never fully believed them.”

“When did you figure it out?” Tegan asked softly.

“Within my first month of attending classes.” Sara didn’t sound especially excited. “We were having a discussion and people were thinking out loud, and I was thrown off for a moment. Then I realized why the professors always furrowed their eyebrows when I spoke; I reasoned differently. I used all methods of knowledge differently. It was fascinating to them. I suppose they believe that I will be something great one day and pat themselves on the back for teaching a prodigy.” She scoffed. “However, the probability of me becoming something as magnificent as they likely hoped is low.”

“You are something great!” Tegan protested. Sara looked to Tegan; taken aback. Tegan realized what she’d just blurted out, blushing. “I mean… You are so advanced… that is something great. And we’re superhumans… That’s pretty great in my book.” Sara’s facial expression softened. Despite the darkness, Tegan could see a hint of a smile.  

“Thank you.” Sara practically whispered. “You are amazing too, you know. I don’t think anyone has ever told you that.” It was Tegan’s turn to be speechless and blush.  

Neither of them really knew what to say after that. They remained quiet over their dinner together, stealing glances at each other. Both of them went to bed wishing they knew what to do about their feelings; hoping that the other would somehow give a green light to express their feelings.


	9. Chapter 9

Sara and Tegan did end up going out to drinks with their friends, but instead of Sara pursuing some girl who might want her, she found herself unable to tear away from her conversation with Tegan. The two only had a couple of beers and decided to head back to their apartment early. Sara invited Tegan to come into her room so that they could talk on the bed in their pajamas. They fell asleep on the bed together and when they awoke, Tegan was snuggled up against Sara. They both awoke to the sound of some car alarm going off and quickly realized how close together they were. The cats were yowling to be fed, but as the door was shut, they couldn’t get into the room.

“Um… Morning.” Tegan muttered, blushing.

“Hello.” Sara sat up. “Did… Did you sleep alright?”

“Hm? Oh… yeah; I did.” Tegan bit her lip. “Really well…” Sara noted that Tegan didn’t look upset, just nervous as though she were young and trying to navigate a crush bending over to pick something up.

“I’m glad,” Sara replied. She reached over to move hair out of Tegan’s face and tucked the offending strands behind her twin’s ear. “What would you like to do today?”

“I… Um… I’m not sure. But I want to spend it with you if that’s ok.” Tegan answered, noticeably nervous. 

“Of course it is.” Sara winked at Tegan. “You can make use the shower first.” 

“Thanks,” Tegan bit her lip. 

“Don’t mention it.” Sara decided that it was Tegan’s turn to be smooth and suave if she wanted Sara that way. The younger twin got up and began laying out her clothing for the day, starting off with her underwear. Tegan blushed, glancing over her shoulder at the undergarments Sara laid out on the bed. 

Tegan went into her own bedroom and picked out a pair of skinny jeans that she’d have to shove herself into, but would be worth it if what she thought was happening was indeed happening. Tegan then found a plaid button up that would be slightly snug on her. This would work. 

When she exited the bathroom, only a towel around her body, she darted into her bedroom to put on her clothes in a drier setting. Her eyes locked with Sara’s, as her sister was sitting at the bar stools drinking coffee; the cats’ food bowl currently surrounded by felines scarfing down their breakfast. Sara looked like she was about to drop her mug, lip between her teeth. Eyes looking darker than usual… Tegan’s eyes were drawn to Sara crossing her legs but didn’t miss Sara swallowing, despite having already downed her most recent sip of coffee. 

Tegan let herself into her bedroom and took a deep breath. Either something was horribly wrong, or her sister was attracted to her. However, Tegan was attracted to Sara so she didn’t really have any room to judge her sister. But she wasn’t quite sure what to do. How did one go about trying to seduce their sister? Was that even ethical even if it was mutually consensual? And Tegan didn’t want a meaningless fuck either. She wanted more than that. But what did she want?

She pondered her mutual attraction to Sara. They’d known each other for nine months, living together for just under five. There certainly hadn’t been anything flirty in the four month period where they were talking to each other and getting to know one another over Snapchat, so perhaps being around one another had sparked the attraction.

Tegan googled ‘sibling attraction’ on her laptop once she’d put on the outfit she’d planned. (Her own underwear—boyshorts and a sports bra—weren’t as attractive as Sara’s boxer briefs and surprisingly lacy bra.) She found the Wikipedia page for ‘Genetic Sexual Attraction’ and let out a small and quiet, “Ohhh,” but while it answered a few questions, Tegan had more questions that she needed to answer for herself; ones that could not be answered by a Google search. 

Meanwhile, Sara’s fingers were going through the motions of satisfying herself during her shower. She quickly got herself off and then proceeded to wash her body. She hoped that she didn’t upset Tegan by looking at her twin like that… She’d never want to make Tegan upset.

Sara chose to wear a T-shirt for once with a leather jacket to go over it. She knocked on the door of Tegan’s room once she’d groomed herself into looking handsome.

“Just a sec!” Tegan sounded slightly panicked. Sara could hear Tegan’s laptop being shut, and her sister scrambling to answer the door.

“Are you ready to wander around aimlessly?” Sara inquired teasingly.

“Yeah, as long as it’s with you,” Tegan replied nervously. 

“Are you alright?” Sara raised an eyebrow.

“I—yeah,” Tegan said. 

“You’re prevaricating.” Sara sighed. “We do not have to go out. I do not wish to make you uncomfortable at all.” She didn’t sound upset; in fact, she sounded calm and mature.

“You’re not making me uncomfortable.” Tegan protested. “I just… I’m a bit confused about something. And I want to tell you, but I don’t know how.”

“Tell me when you’re ready.” Sara’s eyes looked kind of sad to Tegan. 

“I’m sorry,” Tegan muttered. 

“What on earth are you sorry for?” 

“I… I upset you. I can see that.” Tegan explained. “I didn’t want that.”

“I am not upset,” Sara replied. “I’m sorry for making you feel as though you made me that way. You did nothing of the sort.”

Tegan paused, swallowing. She wanted to tell Sara, but this wasn’t going to be easy. Especially if Sara was going to be agonizingly perfect. For all Tegan knew, Sara was only fine with their attraction to one another as long as neither of them expressed it in any other way, or addressed it. Deep down, Tegan knew that this wasn’t the case, but she refused to listen to her intuition. She wouldn’t let herself feel happy until she knew for a fact that she wasn’t the only one having these feelings. “I… This is hard for me to say, but I think I need to tell you right now. But… I don’t… I can’t…” Tegan started to cry because she was overwhelmed.

Sara picked up on what Tegan was trying to say. However, she did not know how to voice her feelings either. How were they supposed to use words to express feelings that had arisen from them being apart for years, and suddenly growing feelings that were deemed immoral by everyone else? People claimed that the pen was mightier than the sword, but in this scenario, actions would speak louder and be more profound than words. 

Once she had arrived at this conclusion, Sara gently cupped Tegan’s jaw in her hand; her thumb brushing tears away from Tegan’s cheekbone as she slowly leaned in. Tegan’s eyes were open, and she had every opportunity to stop Sara, but Tegan met Sara in the middle, and their lips connected in a soft kiss. It lasted for a brief moment that felt like soft but vivid clouds bathed in the light of a sunrise on a warm summer morning, where it wasn’t quite hot yet, and one could lie sleepily in bed with their windows open and soft sheets resting upon them lightly. The kiss felt like a sunflower gradually following the sun throughout a warm spring day. It was the peace of sitting on a rock by a waterfall as it crashed down, and birds sang, but there was nobody else there. It was the sun peeking through clouds after a spring rain. It was… It was… Home.

Tegan’s hand rested on Sara’s shoulder but slipped off once the younger twin pulled away. Their eyes met. Tegan was filled to the brim with relief, but Sara was unreadable. Sara retracted her hand from Tegan’s cheek; returning it to her side. The two stood face to face for a moment until Sara turned away and slipped into her own room as quietly as she could. 

Sara spent the day trying to clear her thoughts from her mind. She put on her headphones, queuing up a playlist to keep herself distracted. She went to her desk in the living room and began to sketch. She ignored the setting around her unless it was Mickey pawing at her. She’d pet his head for a second with her left hand as not to interrupt her drawings. Sara pursed her lips when she finished her first drawing of Tegan. This was the only thing she could draw, as it was turning out. Either that or nature scenes that reminded her of how the kiss felt. She would rather not dwell upon the beautiful feelings that had arisen when she’d kissed Tegan and instead focus on the woman herself.

Obviously, Sara had kissed people before, but like sex, it never truly meant anything to her. She just liked the temporary feeling of touching someone. But this kiss had meant everything. She had never experienced meaningful intimacy with anyone but Tegan. Usually, Sara could keep herself from thinking too much about the innocent and gentle touches Tegan and she shared, but she was at a point of no return now. She knew for a fact that she would never be satisfied with intimacy from anyone else ever again, so there would be no point in seeking it out from anyone ever again. Sure, she might seek out touches from someone, but there wouldn’t be much of a point in doing so. Nothing would truly make her feel the way kissing Tegan for that one beautiful moment had. The feeling that had arisen when the two of them kissed was the only reason Sara didn’t actually regret crossing this line. She didn’t know if crossing it was bad yet, especially since she wasn’t quite sure how Tegan felt about it. In the moment, her twin had seemed to want it, but Sara didn’t really know what the effect on Tegan would be.

In reality, Sara knew what was happening on the other side of the wall, but she refused to fully accept it, and merely turned up her music to drown it out. The part of her mind that informed her of what was going on, she turned away from.

Tegan was currently blasting music from her own earbuds and was two fingers deep inside of herself. The kiss, combined with the teasing earlier, made her in desperate need to be touched. Since she didn’t really have another person with her to assist, Tegan was flying solo. She had already rubbed a couple of orgasms out of herself and had switched methods. She was doing her best to be quiet, but she wasn’t naturally hushed when it came to sexual pleasure and orgasms. Sara’s desk was on the other side of this wall, and she shared another wall with Sara’s room, but Tegan figured that Sara wouldn’t really be repulsed by Tegan’s masturbation if she’d been attracted enough to kiss Tegan. 

The elder twin contemplated what to do once she came down for the third time. She wanted to talk to Sara… She figured that they needed it, but Tegan honestly wasn’t sure how to go about that. But she figured better sooner than later. So, she cleaned herself up and walked out into the living room. 

“Sara?” The younger twin was hunched over her desk, drawing something. Tegan knew better than to try to look at what Sara was drawing, so she tried to move into her twin’s line of sight. She knew that Sara had picked up on the fact that Tegan was there, but Sara was ignoring her. Tegan figured that she could guess the reason, but that didn’t mean that she was happy about being ignored by her sister. After all, they’d already lost so much time together; if this situation weren’t special, then Tegan would be slightly angry.

The lack of response didn’t really deter Tegan. She understood to a certain point. Sara wasn’t always easy to decipher, but Tegan would be damned if she didn’t try to talk about things.

“Sara, I want to talk.” Tegan’s voice was gentle.  “We need to talk.” She stepped forward just enough to place a hand on Sara’s shoulder. 

“Not now.” Sara’s voice was void of emotion. 

“If we don’t talk now, when will we talk?” Tegan tugged Sara’s earbud out. “Sasa…” She watched her sister’s shoulders stiffen. “Please…”

Sara sighed with defeat, flipping over her paper as to keep her drawings out of sight. She pulled out her other earbud, pausing her music, and then turned to Tegan, meeting her eyes.

“What is there to talk about?” Sara asked, crossing her arms over her body. She stood up. Tegan understood this movement: Sara didn’t want to be below Tegan. This way there wouldn’t be a perceived power imbalance.

“We kissed,” Tegan whispered. “And… What does it mean?”

“It means our lips made physical contact with each other’s willingly.” Sara’s face was unreadable, which made Tegan feel a bit antsy. She, out of the rest of the world, was supposed to be able to understand Sara. But apparently, that was only limited to the things that made them special; not the things that made Sara who she was. 

“But what does that mean for us? For our relationship?” Tegan wrung her hands in full view of Sara. 

“What do you want it to mean?” Tegan was caught off guard by this. She had been expecting Sara to say another smartass thing in that cold, emotionless tone of voice. This time, Sara sounded kind of bitter. Tegan had to wonder what Sara was expecting.

“Well… It meant something to me.” Tegan murmured. “I’ve never felt that way when someone kissed me before… I didn’t know I could possibly feel so—well, for lack of a better word—amazing during a kiss.”

“So, to be clear… You do not regret kissing me?” Sara asked slowly. 

“What? God no!” Tegan frowned. “I’m just… I don’t know what to do. This is yet another secret on top of everything else, and I don’t want to strain our relationship—no matter what the nature of it is—just because of all of the stuff we can’t tell anyone else. I feel like that’d be doing us a disservice. It’s just… It’s hard to hide so much stuff from everyone, and especially certain people and we haven’t even figured out a plan in case my mum is coming to try to find me and it’s all so stupid because all I really wanted was to have you in my life.” Tegan rambled, eyes wide as she watched Sara’s face turn into a soft smile. She managed to shut up once she realized that Sara was looking at her as though she wanted her.

“May I kiss you?” Sara whispered. Tegan nodded, immediately diving in. They kissed as though it was their first meal after a week of starvation. Their bodies were pressed against one another, arms pulling them even closer still. Sure, they hadn’t done all of the talking that they probably should have, but they both wanted--and maybe even needed--it. They had to feel comfortable with one another and even begin to figure out what they felt before declaring anything. 

Sara thought back to the moment where they had first come face to face with one another and had been unable to speak. A hug felt right, but perhaps a kiss would have hit the nail directly on the head. She imagined what would have happened if she had, with Tegan’s permission, slipped a hand down her sister’s jeans, or dropped to her knees and gone down on Tegan. She knew that the more intimate she got with Tegan, the more correct everything felt. Perhaps that trend would continue. However, Sara knew that she wasn’t ready to be sexual with Tegan, much less how her sister would feel about the whole thing, so she prevented her hands from roaming about her twin’s body; her arms wrapped around Tegan. The two came up for a breath but went back into the kiss. Tegan lost her balance from getting so into it, but Sara saved both of them by pressing Tegan against the wall. There was a pleased moan from the elder twin, and she pulled away so that she could hide her face from no one. Sara started laughing when she realized that Tegan was embarrassed by the sound she’d emitted, and proceeded to kiss her cheek, and loosen her hold on Tegan so that she could leave Sara’s arms if she wanted.

The word dating did not come up. They were simply existing together in the way that felt most natural to them (sans sexual relations). Neither of them questioned how they felt. They both thought that it would be stupid to be miserable in order to make everyone around them comfortable and happy with who they were and what they did. In their mind, it was simply their private life, and nobody needed to know what they did when they were alone together. 

What their friends did know was that Sara and Tegan had been separated as babies and adopted into separate families, where their respective parents did not approve of them being close to one another. Sara made it very clear that they were not to interfere with their family, but their help was needed in order to keep the two of them together. Her friend Ted lived the closest, and Tegan would put on a beanie and sunglasses. She’d claim to be Emily and say that she was there to play Call of Duty. (Ted was more of a GTA person.)

And it Ted wasn’t there, she’d go to Jack’s house. Jack lived with his girlfriend, but their neighbors were rather neighborly, so some strange teenager dressed like she was trying to hide her identity going into their house would probably not be the best, even if it was a great hiding place for Tegan. Jack seemed to have a special interest in Sara and gave them a copy of their house key. This plan was decided at his house, whispered as though the mail carrier might hear them from outside.

Tegan was also aware that her time might be running short in England, even though she had managed to get a job. She was willing to leave for a week or so and stay in Belgium until she could re-enter the country and get another six months. Sara begrudgingly agreed as she’d miss Tegan and would constantly worry about her sister’s wellbeing. She admitted these two things after a few days of Tegan pleading to know, but the nickname ‘Sasa’ seemed to work like a charm when Tegan wanted something from her sister. (She didn’t use it very often because it was sacred in its own way. Tegan most certainly did not use it in front of their friends either.)

Anyway, Tegan came up with the idea that she could apply to be Sara’s dependent in order to buy more time with Sara. She’d sign up for classes over the summer and begin them in the fall so that she and Sara had their summer together. She also did not tell Sara this plan until her last final, when Tegan decided to make a really nice dinner with dessert for her sister.  She printed out the information from the website and put it inside of a box, which she wrapped and even put a bow on. Sara’s friends had invited her over to hang out and complain about the past term. Tegan politely declined her invitation to this in order to prepare her little surprise for Sara but encouraged her sister to go. When the younger twin arrived home, Tegan was standing by the door grinning.

“You made dinner?” Sara asked, smelling the scent of the food coming to the door from the kitchen. Tegan only shifted her wait excitedly as the younger twin entered the apartment, and saw the meals laid out for them at the bar stools. “Aw, Tegan.” Sara smiled, crossing the room to set her backpack down, and then going up to her twin and softly kissing her. “You didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to,” Tegan replied. “C’mon.” The two ate together as Sara gave a detailed play by play of the exam and Tegan listened; her full attention on her sister and how animated she got when she was telling the story. Tegan didn’t pretend to know exactly what Sara was talking about, as she hadn’t read any of the books Sara’s classes discussed, but she liked to listen as Sara talked about her passion, especially since as a child, Sara’s father had not really talked to her a whole lot. Sara wasn’t used to having someone be willing to listen to her as she talked about things that she loved, and Tegan would listen forever if that was how long Sara wanted to discuss something, dammit. 

After Sara had finished explaining her essay for the last class, Tegan went to fetch the box with the paper. She handed it to Sara, who raised an eyebrow at feeling how strangely light it was. 

“What else were you cooking, besides dinner and dessert?” Sara arched an eyebrow. Tegan found that look to be extremely attractive, but she didn’t say anything about it.

“Just open it.” Tegan pressed. 

Sara wordlessly obliged, confused when all that she saw was the piece of paper. Meanwhile, Tegan was grinning.

“What is this?” Sara inquired carefully.

“I’m gonna stay here with you!” Tegan grinned. “I’m going to be your dependent, and that way, it helps to ensure that I don’t have to leave anytime soon.” The two hugged. 

“God help anyone who tries to keep you away from me against your will.” Sara murmured in Tegan’s ear. 

“I’d say the same about you but I figure you can handle yourself,” Tegan replied. Sara kissed her temple. “We won’t let them separate us, Sasa,” Tegan promised. 

“I know,” Sara replied.

The next day, the two of them decided to begin seeing the extent of how strong or fast they were. Both of them had a pretty good idea of how strong their sense perception was, so they didn’t feel the need to really test that; they could do it in their everyday life.

Tegan suggested they start out by seeing if they could each lift the couch on their own. There was no good way to pick it up since they were both rather petite, so they started out together and moved so that one of them could be holding it. It turned out that it didn’t require much effort for either of them. To test their speed, it required them breaking and entering a high school in order to run on the track. Both of them were dressed in black, and neither used any lights except their phones as timers. Luckily, they managed not to get caught but found that while they didn’t have good endurance at all, they could potentially break a four-minute mile. 

Sara brought up a point about swimming and seeing how fast they could do that, and then they figured out that they had to break into the high school pool area. Sara knew how to pick locks and disable alarm systems, but taught Tegan. They both had the common sense to leave everything exactly as they found it, and Sara’s attention to detail made that much easier for them. So, every night they’d sneak out someplace to go work out for an hour or so; never getting caught. Because they were superhumans, they found that it only took them three weeks to get in shape, as opposed to six. As the two of them discovered, Tegan had an easier time with the physical stuff, and they came to the conclusion that the scientists had given the different dosages of chemicals (to enhance them) on separate sides of their artificial womb. 

By the start of July, Tegan was almost finished with the process of becoming Sara’s dependent and had done everything she could to throw her mother off. Sara, with some help from Tegan, managed to reroute the signal so that it seemed like Tegan was in Asia, and only answered phone calls and texts at times convenient to that zone. 

Sonia did suspect, and she was even aware that Tegan knew that she thought something was up. But with Sara working on the twins’ side and carefully planning and adjusting things, they were able to keep Sonia at bay. However, Stephen also began to call Sara to talk. By then, Sara and Tegan knew that Sonia was getting impatient. Both girls were worried that they might get a surprise visit, so Sara always answered the buzzer and the door, rather than Tegan. Furthermore, Tegan quit her job because she was afraid of her mother showing up while she was working and couldn’t get away. 

Rob, another friend of Sara’s, offered to teach them self-defense. He was a black belt in judo, and the twins accepted. He raised his eyebrows at their abilities to flip him, as he was a giant compared to them but didn’t question it when he saw the looks in their eyes once they noticed his reaction. 

Sara did teach Tegan how to hack, and she did turn out to be pretty good at it. She was much slower at learning than Sara was, but was surer of herself in practice than Sara ever was. This way, Tegan could take care of things herself if Sara did get taken away. 

Being nervous about everything caused the two of them to sleep in the same bed by the end of July. They always slept fully dressed as they weren’t ready to be physically intimate. The one thing they took their time with was their relationship with one another. Not a single day went by where they didn’t talk to each other for a while when it was just the two of them. There were also quiet moments where they’d simply exist in the same place. Sara and Tegan were constantly on edge from the impending possibility of their parents trying to separate them, but they found some semblance of peace when they were alone together. They knew that being alone together wouldn’t do anything to protect them if/when they finally were hunted down, but they still felt safe. After all, the heart doesn’t always listen to the mind. 

Something that helped them to feel more prepared and secure was when Tegan found a website where they could order tiny cameras to set up around their flat and in the hallway. Sara proceeded to find an app where they could check those cameras on their phones. The first half of August seemed to be uneventful, and the two found themselves able to relax, even with their late night sneaking off to work out in order to keep themselves ready and in shape. Even if they were caught by surprise, they’d be able to do something about it and fight back. And whatever they’d do, they’d do it together.


	10. Chapter 10

Sara went for what she thought was just going to be a regular grocery run while Tegan was watching some Netflix movie in their room. When she went out to her bike with her groceries, Sara checked her phone for the time and realized that she had a missed call from Tegan. She furrowed her eyebrows and called back, but got no answer. Tegan always picked up when it was Sara. And she wouldn’t have fallen asleep when she was home alone like that… She immediately went to check the cameras. She gasped, seeing a group of people at the door of their flat. No rope was leading out of her and Tegan’s bedroom, which would have meant that Tegan was escaping, but everything was intact. Sara tossed her grocery bags to the side to keep them from weighing her down and got on her bike, pedaling as fast as she could, stopping for nobody and nothing. She dialed Emy.

“What’s up?” Emy asked, sounding kind off, suspicion obviously being a player, but fear seeming to color the tone of her voice as well. “Sara… Why are there men surrounding your door?” Her voice was hushed as though she was trying to keep anyone else from hearing.

“Emy I am so sorry, but I cannot tell you right now.” Sara gasped. “Please just try to get rid of them. They’re trying to take Tegan away from me.”

“Will do,” Emy promised.

Sara hung up and then checked the cameras again, looking at the one in their bedroom. She couldn’t see Tegan. Sara cursed under her breath, needing to scare these people away from her door more so than she knew that Tegan needed to be retrieved. Ted or Jack could make sure that her sister was alright for the time being. She literally leaped off her bike while it was still in motion, landing in a crouch that hurt, but Sara sprung up, running into the building. She took the stairs because she was faster than the elevator; the fear of being spotted be damned.

Once she reached her floor, Sara flung open the door, racing into her hallway and looking around wildly. The only people in the hallway were herself and Emy.

“Sara, what’s happening?” Emy whispered, looking shaken. “I just got told that it if I knew what was good for me, I’d help them by letting them into my apartment. I refused… And they told me that if I assisted in a crime, I’d get myself into trouble. And then they left.”

“Oh, Emy,” Sara whispered. She couldn’t hear any abnormal breathing or talking within the vicinity. Her neighbor was telling the truth. “I’m so sorry… I can’t tell you. I wish I could but I don’t want you to be in any more danger than you already are. You don’t know anything important. But you have to understand… I live alone.” Sara met Emy’s eyes, dead serious on the last sentence. “I live alone. With my cats Holiday and Mickey. Just me, and my kids.” Emy visibly shivered.

“You’re my friend and my neighbor. Anything for a single mother.” Emy promised, her voice trembling. Sara nodded, turning to open her obviously-tampered-with door, leaving a rueful glance in Emy’s direction as the poor young woman went back into her apartment. The chain kept the door from opening more than a few inches. The lock had clearly been picked. The cats were unsettled. Sara clenched her jaw. She texted, then called her sister.

No answer.

“Tegan?” Sara called softly into the apartment. “Tegan… I’m here now. They’re gone. It’s just me now… I… Please let me in; I have to see if you’re ok.” She had an idea. “I know you secretly prefer the red dress version of the Wuthering Heights video to the other one with the white dress.” There was the sound of Tegan clamoring to peek out their bedroom. She caught one glimpse of Sara looking desperately into the flat; no one else around, and ran to the door. Sara stepped back to let Tegan unhook the chain and throw the door open, despite some fumbling due to Tegan’s desperation. The elder twin practically dove into Sara’s arms a sobbing mess. Sara shut the door behind herself and kissed the top of Tegan’s head. “I’m here. I have you.” She whispered over and over again.

Eventually, Tegan calmed down enough to just lay with her head in Sara’s lap, as her hair was stroked by her twin. She felt soothed by the feeling of Sara’s other hand lightly tracing patterns on her torso. Tegan’s phone vibrated in her pocket. She sat bolt up, grabbing it out of her pocket. Her hand shook, and she saw that it was her mother. Tegan’s jaw set. She knew what it would look like if she rejected the call from her mother. It was better to just suck it up and answer it. She took a deep breath and accepted the call.

“Hey, Mum!” Tegan chirped to the best of her ability, doing the best she could to keep her voice smooth and light. Sara pulled Tegan against herself, allowing the elder twin to know that she was being supported both physically and emotionally. “Japan is great!” She forced an excited look on her face, knowing that she’d play the part better if she forced herself into the role more. Tegan’s free hand was shaking. Sara’s matching hand covered it, trying to warm the cold fingers. Tegan went through the entire call without any hiccups and then hung up. She locked her phone and then curled up in a ball against Sara, who hadn’t even gotten a chance to take off her coat, and wept. Sara whispered soft words into her ear, soothing Tegan.

“It’s ok. They weren’t going to get away with you. Emy wouldn’t have let them.” Sara murmured. “I was on my way as soon as you didn’t pick up the call.”

“I was so scared.” Tegan gasped through her heavy sobs.

“I was too.” Sara offered. “I couldn’t have been able to bear it if we had been separated.”

Tegan cried until she was able to calm down substantially. Sara moved to get up, but Tegan clung to her sister’s clothing. “I’m just going to remove my coat, and then I’m going to get you a glass of water,” Sara promised Tegan softly and evenly. She took the knit blanket off of the back of the couch and tucked it around her currently extremely vulnerable sister. Tegan huddled into it, as Sara took off her coat, dropping it onto the floor in her hurry to return to Tegan, and quickly walked into the kitchen to fill a glass of water and drop a few ice cubes into it. She came back, pressing the glass into her sister’s hands. Sara supported the glass in case Tegan couldn’t. “Please drink. I can’t let you get dehydrated.” Tegan nodded vaguely and gulped down the water until only the cubes remained. Sara kissed her temple softly, then carefully took the glass from her sister and placed it on the coffee table.

“Are they going to come back?” Tegan whispered.

“I didn’t see your mother with them. It was just a group of men.” Sara said, not really answering the question. “I… I might have seen my father, but I was distracted. He should know that as long as I’m with you, they will not survive if they come back today.” Tegan moved to rest her head against Sara’s chest.

“I didn’t go to Ted or Jack’s,” Tegan mumbled. “I’m sorry, Sara.”

“Did you have trouble with the bars on the window or something?” Sara asked gently.

“No.” Tegan sighed, sounding ashamed of herself. “I… there were people down there. Kids. I couldn’t involve them by letting them witness what was happening.”

“Oh, Tegan.” Sara kissed the top of Tegan’s head. “Of course.” She teared up. “Of course you couldn’t.” She did not sound ashamed of Tegan’s actions. She knew her sister. She knew that Tegan would never intentionally do something to hurt an innocent person, and if she had to protect a street full of innocent people with their just as innocent children by sacrificing herself, Tegan would.

“I’m sorry.” Tegan sighed.

“Don’t apologize for being yourself,” Sara whispered. “I love you, Tegan. I love you more than I could ever love anything that has or ever could exist in this world. If I were to lose you… I… I don’t think I’d be able to live with myself.” Tegan couldn’t speak because of the lump in her throat, and tears leaked out of her eyes again. She sat up and kissed Sara softly. Tegan was trembling, which Sara could feel all the way into her soul. Her fingers gently traced Tegan’s bone structure.

“I love you too, Sara. You said everything better than I ever could… But I can’t live without you.” Tegan managed, her voice scratchy. They kissed again. A tear leaked out of Sara’s eye.

“So beautiful.” Sara murmured. They fell asleep on that couch together, underneath the blanket, curled up against one another; clinging each to the other as though she were the only thing that could keep her still connected to earth.

In the morning, they both awoke with crust in their eyes, finding themselves face to face with each other. Tegan smiled shyly, resting herself against Sara. The younger twin moved Tegan’s hair out of her face and kissed her lightly. They got up together and headed into the bathroom for a shower. Being naked together in the shower wasn’t a huge deal for them, once they got past the initial eyeing. They had never seen the other nude before, however, this was not a sexual situation, so there was no point in making it so. They seemed to have a silent agreement that this time was one where they needed to be intimate, but not sexual.

Tegan managed to make breakfast for both of them, once they had gotten dressed in comfortable clothing (there was no reason to go out that day), and the two ate together on the couch, their sides pressed together. Tegan rested her head against Sara’s shoulder, and Sara leaned her head against Tegan’s. They were both in the midst of realization that they were ok, but this wasn’t going to be over. They weren’t going to be allowed to live peacefully; they were seen as too dangerous together.

Sara wanted to scoff at that. They were simply answering questions that the scientists themselves probably wanted to answer, and the twins had merely been training in order to make sure that they weren’t able to be separated against their will. Besides, their aim had simply been to get to know each other as sisters. They hadn’t planned on falling in love, but it had happened, and even that was no threat. Everything that had transpired was because people were trying to force them apart, which made Sara and Tegan hold tighter to each other.

Tegan wanted things to have been easier, but that didn’t mean that she would ever give up loving Sara. As a child, she did not leave the apartment she lived in very frequently and yet once she and Sara saw each other after all those years of being separated, Tegan felt like she had come home for the first time. She knew that she and Sara had taught each other how to love. The way they’d been brought up, Tegan wasn’t sure if they could truly love anyone but each other. Sure, they could love Holiday and Mickey, but that was a different kind of love. That was a lighter kind of love. But the way Tegan and Sara loved each other was dense and full. They loved each other in a way that was both intense but easier and came more naturally to them than breathing, and they were better together. Each knew that to love her twin was to possess a beating heart.


	11. Chapter 11

Soon, Sara realized that Holiday and Mickey might be caught in the crossfires if the agents (they could only be agents, she concluded) came back. And she couldn’t let that happen. It was bad enough that Tegan was mixed up in all of this, and she was half of the (technically) guilty party. Sara swallowed. Holiday and Mickey were the first ones she’d ever loved. They were her friends when she wasn’t ready to become friends with anyone else. They were her children. She couldn’t let anything happen to them.  

She picked up her phone. Tegan looked up.

“What’re you doing?” The elder twin asked softly.  

“Getting Holiday and Mickey out of danger,” Sara answered. The latter feline had hopped onto the couch with them and was lying next to Tegan, who had been petting him.

“That’s a good idea.” Tegan murmured. “I don’t…”

“It’s bad enough that you’re at risk… They have nothing to do with any of this, and I’m not going to risk anything happening to them.” Sara sighed. “I need them out of the way. I can’t ask Emy, Jack, or Ted. Rob is allergic… Which leaves Eva. The one time she was here, they loved her immediately.” Sara stood up, pacing as she texted her classmate. Tegan picked up their dishes and brought them into the kitchen to wash them. She observed Sara as she stammered her way through a phone call deciding on how and when they would get the cats and their supplies to Eva’s apartment. Tegan stepped forward to continue the call for Sara when she was stumbling over what she was trying to say, but Sara waved her off, managing to gradually talk smoother and trip over her words less.  

“So what’s the plan?” Tegan inquired once Sara hung up. She came up behind the younger twin’s slightly smaller frame, wrapping her arms around Sara’s waist, resting her chin on her twin’s shoulder.  

“Jack will transport the cats and their things to Eva’s place. He’ll be here in an hour.” Sara explained.  

“How long are we going to have to be without them?” Tegan asked.  

“Unfortunately, we cannot know for certain,” Sara admitted. “I’ll give Eva money both before and after… just in case she needs to buy things for them. And I’ll give her the vet appointment time and dates. I want it to be over as soon as possible, but that’s mostly out of our control.” She sighed.  

“I love you.” Tegan murmured.

“I love you too,” Sara replied. They angled their heads so that they could kiss lightly.  

The two separated and began reluctantly gathering the cats’ belongings. Sara buzzed Jack up, watching him on the cameras through her phone, just in case. They exchanged a couple minutes of conversation before Sara and Tegan said goodbye to their cats and allowed Jack to take Holiday and Mickey along with their necessities to their car, and take them to Eva’s. Sara and Tegan received Eva’s call about twenty minutes later, informing them that Holiday and Mickey had arrived, and they seemed to be settling alright, so far. Sara thanked her and hung up as soon as possible.

“This is out of hand.” She grumbled. “I’m scared for my sister, my friends, my cats… Everything I hold dear. And I can’t be everywhere at once.” Tegan hugged her.

“I know you can’t be everywhere at once, but maybe you can be here with me right now?” The elder twin suggested gently. Sara looked up, and Tegan kissed her. Sara kissed back.  

“Do you want to…?” Sara trailed off.  

“I mean, that’s what I was thinking, but if you don’t want to, we don’t have to,” Tegan replied quickly, her cheeks turning pink. Sara stood up, her hand in Tegan’s.

“I do,” Sara informed Tegan, who blushed even more and smiled in a way that struck Sara as adorable. They kissed; Sara leading Tegan into their bedroom. The elder twin laid back on the bed, kicking off her socks as Sara straddled her lap. The two kissed deeply again, and Sara pulled off her own shirt. They shed their clothing, assisting one another when necessary; kissing in between, until Sara lay on top of Tegan with their naked bodies pressed together.  

Sara moved Tegan’s hair out of her face, and Tegan reached up to tuck Sara’s bangs behind her ear. They smiled against each other’s lips. Their hands explored one another until Tegan let out a small moan of need, and Sara took her place between Tegan’s legs and went down on her. This wasn’t the first time Tegan had been touched like this by any means, but this was the first time she felt it nearly as much as she did. She felt the emotional connection deep in every single cell. When Sara’s tongue dipped inside her, Tegan felt whole in a way that she never had before. Their bodies couldn’t possibly be closer than that, as Tegan knew unless they decided to try sixty-nining, but Tegan wouldn’t ruin the moment by saying that. What was currently happening was the best thing she’d ever experienced, and she wanted to savor it. She lasted as long as she could, but she was a shaking, sweating, moaning mess when she finally came on Sara’s tongue.  

Tegan tried to catch her breath as Sara climbed on top of Tegan again, kissing her face all over and making her giggle. Tegan carefully flipped them over. She kissed Sara deeply, their tongues dancing together as Tegan’s hand wandered in between Sara’s legs and feeling the wetness. Tegan bit her lip, but when she released it, Sara’s teeth lightly latched onto it. Tegan gasped, surprised. Sara placed a kiss on her bottom lip and ceased her attack. Tegan’s hand went back to Sara’s nipples to play with the hard buds, while she herself moved in between Sara’s legs to eat her pussy. Sara didn’t last all that long either; her thighs accidentally trapping Tegan in between them. The elder twin waited until Sara had relaxed again before softly kissing Sara’s clit and crawling up to lay next to her sister.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” Tegan asked.

“Hmm… Maybe. Something light with no connection to this mess.” Sara replied.  

“As you wish,” Tegan replied, kissing Sara’s cheek.  

And so the two lay in bed together binge-watching Dog The Bounty Hunter and alternating a bit with some episodes of The Real Housewives. They didn’t bother to put on clothes, and only left the bed for bathroom breaks or to get food. Sara checked the cameras in the hallway and then checked in with Eva every now and then in order to see how the cats were adjusting. They fell asleep with Tegan resting her head on Sara’s collarbone, arms loosely wrapped around Sara’s neck. They awoke to the sunlight through their windows and kissed deeply rather than sharing a verbal good morning.  

Sara felt like the morning was empty without feeding Holiday and Mickey or cleaning the litter box. It wasn’t necessarily a pleasant task, but she loved them and they had been part of her life for over a year; of course she’d miss all of the little things. While she and Tegan were eating breakfast, Sara was trying to figure out what was wrong with the living room. She glanced around, frowning. It seemed strangely empty. And then she realized that the scratching post was missing, as well as a couple of cat toys that she was willing to leave lying around.  

In order to, in a way, cover up the emptiness, Sara began cleaning. Tegan sat on the couch in the middle of Sara vacuuming and sweeping, watching videos and scrolling through twitter accounts. When Sara passed by the couch, Tegan reached her hand out, and Sara took it, allowing herself to be reeled in and kissed on the lips. She smiled, pressing a kiss to Tegan’s forehead. She went back to her task, their fingers touching lightly.  

That day, not a whole lot occurred. They were both prepared for the agents to come back and try again, but they were able to relax and just be together.

A few days went by where they’d hang out together and talk while it was still light, and once evening came, they’d have sex. They found out that they, as superhumans, had a lot of endurance and could go on for hours. They started to experiment with different things that either one or both of them had an interest in but hadn’t been alright with trying when with other people.

Eventually, Sara and Tegan went outside for a little while; just to walk around a little bit early one morning. They’d gotten agitated from being stuck in their small apartment for several days. Tegan secretly wanted to have a picnic and roll around on the grass with Sara, laughing and kissing, and just being in love with each other. Tegan wished she could lay down with her head in Sara’s lap and feel her twin playing with her hair.  

But she’d settle for taking a walk with Sara and holding her hand. Tegan had needed to do some convincing on her part in order to get Sara to agree to hold hands. Tegan had pointed out that they both looked kind of young and that if people wanted to sexualize their relationship, with no evidence, that was that person’s own problem.  

They were next to a small grocery store when Sara stopped.

“We’re running low on some stuff.” She pointed out.

“Ew, I don’t want to go shopping.” Tegan wrinkled her nose.  

“Tegan, I’m not so sure that it’s the best idea for us to be separated. Remember last time?” Sara said carefully, trying not to hurt her sister’s feelings.

“I’ll be fine,” Tegan promised. “If they were going to come back, they would have done it already.”

“I’m not going to let you go back there alone,” Sara warned. “I am not having a repeat of last time. I don’t want you to be hurt by them.” She clenched her jaw, looking as though she may have to reluctantly take drastic measures in the hypothetical situation that Tegan had been kidnapped by US government agents.

Sensing that Sara was too stubborn about her safety to back down from this, Tegan reluctantly agreed to come along. She saw the relief in Sara’s eyes. In exchange, the younger twin made sure that the shopping trip wasn’t longer than it needed to be and quickly grabbed everything they needed in one trip through the store.  

They held hands on the way back, their outside hands holding two grocery bags each. Once the groceries were put away, Sara decided to do laundry. Tegan groaned.

“I’m tired of being holed up in here.” She admitted. “I know we literally just got back from a walk, but I think it kinda woke up my need to spend some time somewhere else.”

“Do you want to go spend time with Emy?” Sara asked.

“No, her apartment is just like ours. I want to run around. See different stuff… I kind of want to go to an amusement park.” Tegan complained, rolling around on the couch, but somehow not falling off.

“I’m sorry, but we can’t manage that right now,” Sara replied patiently; doing the best she could to humor her sister.  

“I also kinda wanna go to the beach…” Tegan sighed. “I wish that I could’ve gone to the Santa Cruz beach boardwalk as a kid. It was only, like, ninety minutes away.”

“Maybe we’ll be able to go after we deal with this mess,” Sara replied.  

“But I want to now.” Tegan groaned.

“I can’t help you with that.” Sara moved over to sit on the arm of the couch, and lightly rake her fingers through Tegan’s hair.  

“Kiss me?” Tegan pleaded. Sara knelt next to the couch, placing a soft kiss on Tegan’s lips.

“Do you feel better?” Sara asked playfully.  

“A bit.” Tegan let out a frustrated sigh. “I guess this is one of the long-term effects of growing up having been shut away.” Sara frowned, nodding. She’d quickly grown serious, and Tegan strangely loved that about her, though this wasn’t the thing taking precedence in her mind.

“I should have realized.” She murmured, half to herself. “Of course you would have trouble knowing that you have to stay inside and out of sight… your childhood was almost filled with that. But now the stakes are higher, and we have to stay out of sight as much as possible. Tegan, I wish I could make this easier for you, but I’m sorry because I don’t know how. If there is anything I could possibly do, please tell me, and I will do everything in my power to help you out. I’m sorry I didn’t think of this.” Sara was surprised by Tegan sitting up and wrapping her arms around her waist; resting her face against her torso. “What is it?”

“I’m so lucky to have you.” Tegan murmured. “I love you more than I could ever love anything in this world.” Sara’s voice got caught in her throat with emotion; her face growing stony and expressionless, and all she could do was stroke Tegan’s hair with her fingers and kiss the top of her lover’s hair. As she got more of a handle on herself, Sara’s hands migrated to Tegan’s hands and traced them, smiling tenderly down at Tegan.

“Is there anything I can do to help you?”

“Just be you,” Tegan replied. “You’re all I need to feel better.” It was true; Sara was Tegan’s safe place. All of the worst things that had ever happened to Tegan were never when Sara was right there with her, and Tegan suspected that even if the worst thing was to occur as she clung to Sara’s hand, her twin would do the best she could to help Tegan and get her out of the situation, and so it wouldn’t be nearly as horrible. She could trust Sara because she loved her.

“I should resume cleaning so that we have clean clothes this coming week. I mean, we probably won’t wear them for all that long, but I’d prefer to have fresh underwear to change into.” Sara said, her voice slightly low, in a way that made Tegan think of what they might do at night on their bed.

“I’m going to go take a bath. Maybe if I pretend hard enough, I can feel like I’m in the ocean, and it’ll be like we’re on our honeymoon.” She announced. Sara’s smile widened as she stood up.

“Are you going to open the door to the bathroom?” She inquired as she moved back towards the washer and dryer to finish sorting out the different types of clothing colors. “I want to know so that I can open a window if you are.”  

“Yeah, might as well.” Tegan shrugged. “Not like it’s anything you haven’t seen.”

“I wish you joy of it.” Sara moved over to lightly swat Tegan on the top of her head.  

“Thanks, babe.” Tegan sat up, stretching, going into their bedroom to retrieve her bathrobe and slippers before going into the bathroom to begin drawing her bath.  

Sara finished feeding clothing into the washing machine and moved to watch Tegan bend over to remove the mat from the bottom of the tub and start the water. She leaned against the doorframe, smiling.  

“Enjoying the view?” Tegan teased.  

“Oh yeah.” Sara leaned forward just enough to pat her twin’s bum. She bit her lip. “I… I would like to show you something.”  

“Ok, one sec.” Tegan rinsed the crap off the bottom of the tub and then plugged the bottom. She stood up and followed Sara to her desk.

“I figure it’s high time I showed you my drawings,” Sara explained. “I… Thinking about doing it made me nervous, so I didn’t. Nobody’s ever seen these in their entirety before.” She opened the drawer with her sketchbook and handed it to Tegan. “You can… You can look through it.” Tegan carefully opened it to a random page and was surprised to see her own face staring back at her.  

“You… you drew me?” Tegan bit her lip. “I had suspicions, but I kind of forgot about it after a while.”

“I draw those I love.” Sara shrugged. “And I love you most, out of everything.” Tegan wanted to kiss Sara, but she kept looking through the drawings. Some were scenes that seemed like they came from Sara’s mind, sometimes they were characters from shows they watched, but the ones that showed up most were Tegan and their cats; sometimes both. There were nude drawings of Tegan too. She knew that Sara found her more beautiful than she found herself, but in these drawings, Tegan looked almost like a Greek goddess sculpture that one might find in a museum.

“Sara…” Tegan pulled her twin into a hug, kissing her cheek. She released Sara in order to look at more drawings. She remembered that the bath water was running, passing the sketchbook back to Sara and quickly turning off the water before the water level could get too high.

She returned and finished looking through the sketchbook. Once she did, Tegan gently placed it on the desk and turned to Sara.

“I love you so much.” She reminded her sister, looking her square in the eyes.

“I love you too,” Sara replied, kissing Tegan.  

“I’m going to take my bath now.” Tegan slipped into the bathroom. Sara smiled down at the carpet for a moment before going into their bedroom and stripping the bed. She hadn’t changed the sheets since before they started having sex. Usually, she would change the sheets as soon as they got the littlest bit dirty, but Sara honestly didn’t mind that much when it was Tegan who got them ‘dirty’. Sara was in the middle of putting the wet clothing into the dryer when there was a knock on the door.


	12. Chapter 12

Sara froze, glancing around wildly for her phone, spotting it on the counter. She picked it up and checked the cameras in the hallway.  

“Shit.” Sara groaned. There was a group of men who looked armed. She put her phone into her pocket, looking at the door. It was locked and the chain lock had also been used (they always kept the door like this). She swallowed, going to her desk to grab all of her sketchbooks out of the drawers; the only things she couldn’t bear to leave behind.  

Sara tiptoed into the bathroom, a finger over her lips. Tegan looked up, about to say something flirty, but her facial expression changed to a serious one the second she saw Sara’s grim face. Sara nodded grimly and headed into their bedroom. She could hear Tegan carefully getting out of the bathtub and drying off. Tegan strode into the bedroom naked and quickly searched for some clothes that she could put on that would be easy to move in. She tried to dry off quickly, but the fabric kept resisting against her damp body.

Meanwhile, Sara was getting ready too. She put on some boots that she could run in, a hoodie, a beanie, and sunglasses. She grabbed a backpack, inside which she placed her sketchbooks, and then Tegan’s phone along with the charger, which had been sitting on the bedside table as it had been charging. Sara then began to pry the bars away from the outside of the window and maneuver them inside. She set up the rope that they would use to get down the side of the building.  

There was pounding on the door from the agents trying to get them to answer it.  

Both twins were using their speed. Sara pressed a pair of gloves into Tegan’s hand before putting on her own pair. Tegan was dressed similarly to Sara. Tegan pecked her sister’s lips for luck, as first Sara, and then Tegan, climbed out of the window, tightly holding the rope, lowering themselves until they touched the ground lightly. Tegan grabbed Sara’s wrist, as she couldn’t find her sister’s hand at first. The two took off running together.  

Sara could feel her sketchbooks bouncing in her backpack. She took one strap in her fist, fearing to lose all of her drawing and someone else seeing them.  

After a few blocks, they slowed to a walk, although brisk. Tegan put an arm over Sara’s shoulder. When they finally got to Ted’s apartment, and they informed him that they were there to play Call of Duty, he buzzed them up immediately.

They took the stairs as to avoid people seeing them. Sara took out her phone and observed that the men at their door were breaking in. She sighed, shoving the device back into her pocket. They wouldn’t find anything that would tell them very much; both Sara and Tegan password protected their laptops with things that only the two of them knew about, but neither had anything of real importance on there. Sara would change the password to her email just in case they tried to figure out who her classmates were and use that against her in order to find them.

“Hey guys, come on inside,” Ted whispered, opening the door as soon as they came into sight. He must have been watching for them.  

He shut and locked the door behind himself, clenching his jaw.

“As you may be able to guess, they arrived,” Sara informed him. “They have broken into our home.”

“Did you lose anything?” Ted asked, furrowing his eyebrows with concern.

“The only things that we needed to grab were our phones and Sara’s sketchbooks,” Tegan explained. “But those are in Sara’s backpack.”

“What about your laptops?”

"Password protected,” Sara explained. “And secure. Both Tegan and I know how to hack, so we can defend against hackers. Besides, I’m smarter than leaving anything important behind.” Ted nodded.

“Can I get you guys anything?” He offered.

“Water please.” Tegan pleaded.  

“You got it.” He went into the kitchen, as Sara led Tegan to the living room. Both of them sat away from the windows. Tegan was handed her glass of water and took a large swallow. Her hand shook. Sara took the glass from her, taking her own sip. Her hand rested on Tegan’s knee.

“We escaped so far.” Sara reminded Tegan softly.

“I know,” Tegan replied, her voice shaky. “I wouldn’t have been able to get out and survive if it weren’t for you.”

“Yes, you could have,” Sara replied firmly.

“You’re just so much more confident and brave than me, though.” Tegan protested.

  “We have our different strengths, ok?” Sara nudged Tegan. “You’re better at improvising. I just knew exactly what to do, and that was it.”

“Are you two ok?” Ted looked uncomfortable.  

“We will be,” Sara answered firmly. “Do you want us out of your hair today?”

“What do you mean?” Ted raised an eyebrow.

“Our car is at Jack’s house,” Sara explained. “We can go there to get it by tonight.”

“Yeah, we might have to skip town,” Tegan added.  

"Do you have a destination in mind?”

“Not really,” Tegan admitted.  

“Tegan and I may go to Canada or something, but we don't know yet.” Sara sighed. “If only a foreign country had let us be safe in the first place.”

“They don’t have a warrant… Do they?” Tegan asked, her voice small.  

“I don’t know,” Sara said simply. “It’s honestly hard to know what lengths my father went to. He may have chosen to ignore laws, or perhaps he is doing everything legally.”

“Um… I think he’s doing everything as legally as it can get…” Tegan piped up. “He seems like the type that makes sure that he has as much power as possible before he does something. That way he can flex it to rub stuff in, while you can’t really do anything to fight back.” Sara nodded thoughtfully.

“I believe you’re right.” She said after a moment.

“Is this thing deeper than I thought it was?” Ted asked, looking confused. Sara and Tegan exchanged a look.

“Yes,” Sara admitted. “You can’t know more about the bigger picture than you do already, though. It’ll protect you.”  

“I’ll accept that, but I’m still going to worry,” Ted warned.

“That’s fine.” Tegan shrugged.  

“Ok, let’s focus again.” Sara let out a breath. “We need to figure out whether we should get our car now or later.”

“If we wait, the further they’ll have fanned out to look for us.” Tegan pointed out. “Sara… I think we need to go now but we need to stick to main roads with lots of people.” She reached up to her mouth and took out her labret piercing.

“Tegan… You love that thing.” Sara murmured.  

"I know, but I love not getting spotted because of it more than I love the actual thing.” She replied. “Anyway, we should get to our car and get the hell out of here.”

“Ok,” Sara let out a breath. “Ted, we need to be driven to Jack’s house. He frowned, nodding.

“Am I ever going to see you again?” He asked.  

“We don’t know,” Tegan admitted. Ted nodded grimly, and escorted them out to his car, but not before Tegan swiped a couple of pens and put them in Sara’s backpack without him noticing. Sara noticed, though, her face breaking out into a smile as she thought about how much she wanted to kiss Tegan right there and then.  

The two women sat in the backseat with tinted windows, holding each other’s hand as though clinging for dear life. Sara called Jack ahead of time so that he’d put their emergency supplies into the car.  

Once they were standing on his driveway by their car, facing him, Sara truly realized that her world was no longer her own. The life she’d been building was crumbling. Not just in a bad way, but certainly not only in a good way either. She let out a long breath, placing a hand on the middle of Tegan’s back.  

They said their farewells to Jack, hugging him, and promising to call him if they needed anything. (That was a lie. They couldn’t risk it.) And then they left. Sara was driving, and Tegan sat in the passenger seat, despite Sara protesting that the agents would be looking for two women.  

After a while, they got onto the motorway, heading towards Hull. It would take just under three hours. Once they arrived, they’d take the next ferry to Belgium. Besides France, it was the only nearby country that had French as a commonly enough spoken language. Sara was fluent in French, and Tegan could stumble through it a bit. They planned on going to France after a while, perhaps living there. And maybe if things calmed down, they’d go to Canada and settle down.  

As they discussed this plan, Tegan felt like her head was spinning, in a way. It was slightly overwhelming for her to know that she might never get a normal life. She almost wanted to cry. She’d just wanted to settle down with Sara and figure herself out but she hadn’t even been able to do the latter yet.  

“Sasa?”  

“Yes?” Sara replied softly.

“How are we supposed to have normal lives ever again?” Tegan pulled her knees to her chest. She didn’t feel up to playing games on her phone.  

“I guess we’re not supposed to,” Sara answered simply. “They never planned for that.”

“It’s so unfair!” Tegan complained. “We didn’t want any of this. We just… we wanted to have someone to understand. We didn’t… We didn’t even really want to be made this way.”

“No living thing does,” Sara replied, sighing. She placed her hand on Tegan’s thigh, though it required some reaching. “At a certain point, you have to wonder whether any species really has a right to procreate. Personally, I do not feel like would be able to provide a home that would be fit for any human children. Besides, I’m eighteen. By many people’s standard, I am a child. I don’t think that they are nearly as correct as they think they are, but I haven’t even known about you for a full year. Which leads me to my next point. I could not be a single parent. I’d have to do it as part of a team. And you are the only person I could ever dream of having as that teammate. However, it’s hard enough to even think of bringing up a child when both parents are a set of incestuous twins. Throw in our situation… and I don’t think that we should raise children. Cats, sure. But humans… no.” Tegan nodded thoughtfully.

“I forgot.” She murmured.

“What did you forget?” Sara asked carefully.

“That we’re only eighteen,” Tegan explained. “I feel older but also younger than that somehow.” Sara felt her heart sink. She’d overlooked the fact that Tegan even had a childhood where she was allowed to be young and innocent. This meant that Sara had also neglected the fact that Tegan was suddenly forced to grow up, possibly before she might have been ready. Sara swallowed, shame tugging her at her heart even further. How could she ignore these facts? Tegan had needs, just like any other person, and it was important that Sara adjusted for them. She wanted to hold Tegan close and let her forget about everything for a little while.  

“I’m sorry that I got you dragged into this.” Sara sighed, shaking her head. “If I hadn’t invited you to live with me, then we wouldn’t be in this mess.”

“I don’t care,” Tegan said, crossing her arms. “You shouldn’t be sorry that you wanted to get to know me because it’s our right to know each other. It wouldn’t be such a problem if other people didn’t want to control what two consenting adults do or if they weren’t so afraid of what we might do. They’re terrified of us and our love. They think we’re going to overthrow them if we team up.” Tegan scoffed. “Why would we ever want to take over the government? Honestly…” She shook her head. “That’s why they’re so intent on keeping us apart.”  

“So they made up the whole ‘codependency’ thing?” Sara raised an eyebrow. “Honestly…”

Tegan giggled. “Besides, it’s none of their business if we’re codependent. If we want to be together, we should be allowed to become codependent. Other people can.”

“That’s very true,” Sara remarked, jostling Tegan’s knee lightly.  

“But in all honestly…” Tegan hesitated. “I wouldn’t give up existing as long as it means that I will end up with you.” Sara, fast as lighting, stole a kiss off of Tegan’s cheek without letting the car veer off into any direction. The older twin grinned as she spoke again. “I love you too.”

“I don’t care what path life brings us along, as long as I can stay by your side.” Sara said, almost lost in her devoted sentiments. “I’m helplessly in love with you.”

“And we made each other better.” Tegan observed, unable to cease smiling. “You were the desert that didn’t know rain, and I was the mountain that didn’t know sunlight.”


	13. Chapter 13

They arrived in Hull before sunset and checked into a hotel, parking their car nearby at a different hotel. They had a suitcase full of clothes and a bag full of food that wouldn’t perish easily. They brought those, as well as Sara’s backpack, into the hotel with them. The person at the desk checking them in was a young woman, and Tegan got an idea.

“If anyone calls and asks for us, can you not say that we are here?” Tegan whispered once they had successfully gotten a room. “We’re trying to get away from a bad situation… Our father… Um…” The woman’s eyes widened.

“Yes, of course.” She replied as quickly as possible. “I’m sorry… I’ll tell the next person who mans the desk and have them pass it on.”

“Thank you,” Sara said with a sigh. “Come on, Tee.” They headed into their room and lay down on the bed together. Tegan curled up against Sara, her body automatically molding to fit the other woman’s. Their arms snaked around each other and they kissed, both exhaling through their noses. It had been a stressful day, and they both needed some time to relax before having to get on the ferry the next day. Tegan had reserved spots for them through her phone, and they’d find someplace to print out the papers the next morning. But for a little while, they’d just relax and unwind.  

“I miss the cats,” Tegan mumbled, her head resting on Sara’s breasts.  

“Me too,” Sara replied, sounding tired. “I already miss our bed. I miss doing laundry. I miss vacuuming and the way you’d pick up your legs for me so that I could get under them. I miss going on walks with you. I miss going to class and then coming back to see you perched on the couch, or in the kitchen doing something. I thought that our life was uneventful before this shitstorm struck, but I miss the mundane bits already. I don’t want to be stressed over whether or not some agents are going to find us. I don’t want to have to worry about whether or not your mother is going to take you away from me. I don’t want to have to worry about my father trying to do something. I just want to have a calm, normal life with you.”

“Do you want to watch a movie?” Tegan asked. “I think that there’s supposed to be another Harry Potter marathon on one of the channels.”

“Sounds nice,” Sara remarked. “Let’s do it. And yes, I did intend for a double meaning, if you are interested in that.” She winked. Tegan laughed and Sara pecked her lips with a kiss.  

Tegan turned on the TV, and let the Harry Potter movies play in the background as she and Sara had their own little sex marathon on the bed, stopping for snacks, drinks, and bathroom breaks when necessary. They didn’t do anything particularly inventive or exciting in sex, unlike their almost-peaceful week; simply fingering and going down on each other.  

They turned off the TV once they were too tired to continue, and fell asleep with Sara on her side and Tegan curled up against her, head tucked into the crook of Sara’s neck. They woke up like this and smiled, lightly kissing.  

“Hi,” Tegan said in a small voice.  

“Hi,” Sara replied before kissing Tegan again. Both of them had rather bad morning breath, but they’d both learned how to ignore that. Sara used to despise bad breath but had gotten over it with Tegan. In fact, a lot of things that used to gross her out didn’t anymore once she was with Tegan. For instance, she didn’t used to like to share a plate, glass, or silverware with anyone, but she was willing to do it with Tegan. She occasionally wondered if it was because Tegan was so much like herself if it was because she loved Tegan or a combination of both. Likely the latter. “Let’s treat ourselves and go get breakfast somewhere.” Sara murmured. “I don’t care if it’s at some McDonald’s or at some nice place. Whatever you want.”

“McDonald's,” Tegan grinned.

“Alright.” Sara shrugged, kissing Tegan’s forehead before sitting up and exiting the bed. “We can do that, but you do know that they have those in Belgium, right?”

“They have McDonald's everywhere.” Tegan pointed out.  

So, the two went to McDonald's. Tegan made it a point to moan at the taste of the food and lick her fingers. Sara gave her a playful glare, which made Tegan only up the ante. To that, Sara arched an eyebrow, her resting bitch face in place. Tegan squirmed in her seat a little, biting her lip, and Sara smirked, which did not help Tegan’s situation.  

They were in a good mood when they boarded the ferry. They sat in a quiet corner together with their belongings and talked for a while. There were still things that they didn’t know about each other, and they felt like perhaps they should learn these things at this time if they were going to be stuck on this boat for over thirteen hours, trying to escape US government agents. Especially if they would somehow be separated…  

Other activities over the thirteen hours on the boat included Sara napping against Tegan (which led to Tegan wrapping her arms around Sara in order to keep her warm), Sara allowing Tegan to watch her sketch things, and them making plans together for when they arrived in Belgium.  

The time didn’t seem to pass quickly enough, especially since both twins were anxious; concerned about being caught up to.

“I feel like we were on that boat forever,” Tegan grumbled as they exited the boat.

“Would you like to walk around a little bit, or do you want to turn in right away, once we go through customs?” Sara asked.  

“I want to walk around,” Tegan replied.  

“Then we will,” Sara promised.

She made good on it, and they strolled around Blankenberge together, arm in arm. (They didn’t want to risk staying in Zeebrugge in case they were followed.)  

“Hey Sara, look.” Tegan nudged her sister, pointing out an ice cream parlor. “Want to get some?”

“I’ll just share your cone with you,” Sara replied, shrugging. “I’m not really in the mood for anything that’s not you right now.” Tegan grinned, her cheeks growing sort of pink.

“I want to kiss you so bad.” She whispered. Sara smiled back.

“I love you too.”

Tegan ended up getting a cup of strawberry ice cream. The two sat a curb a bit of the way away from other people, and Tegan ate, occasionally holding out spoonfuls for Sara. She’d place her hand over Tegan’s as Sara ate off of the spoon, their eyes locked, and Tegan smiling her gummy smile that made Sara want to kiss Tegan and lay her down on the sidewalk as they made out. Sara smiled to herself as she thought of doing that.

 They went to bed without having sex that night and just held each other.  

“Do we have a plan?” Tegan asked, tying her shoes the next morning.

“Not further than anything we’ve already discussed.” Sara shrugged. “I have no idea what to do. If we keep moving, that might just mean more unnecessary stress for us if they didn’t manage to follow us. But if we don’t, we won’t know if they’re about to get us until it might be too late... Actually, we won’t know if we didn’t move fast enough until it may be too late, in general. ” She let out a breath.  

“Why don’t we just enjoy today?” Tegan pleaded. “I can go to my beach…” She grinned. “Come on Sasa it’ll be fun!”

“I don’t know…” Sara replied, frowning.  

“They’re not going to look for us at the marina.” Tegan rolled her eyes. “Come on. In their minds, we’d be more likely to be holed up in our room. Anyway, we can get away easier if we see them approaching. And, on top of that, they won’t even know if we’re here for sure.” Sara could see it in Tegan’s eyes that the stress of being on the run was taking more of a toll on her than she seemed to be willing to admit. They both knew that not that many people would be hanging around the water in early September.

“Alright.” Sara caved, deciding that they both did need the break. “But tonight, we have to start figuring stuff out.”

“Ok, we’ll do that.” Tegan stole a kiss from Sara’s lips, and began to excitedly get ready; packing extra clothes, the blanket that could be used as a picnic blanket, and the other beach stuff they might need. Sara required for them to be able to stop and get sunscreen on the way, even if they’d both be fully dressed.  

For the first hour or so, Sara just sat on the blanket watching Tegan run around barefoot in the water with her jeans rolled up to her knees. At a certain point, she started drawing Tegan, not caring if anyone looked at what she was doing over her shoulder.  

“You should come into the water with me,” Tegan called breathlessly, approaching Sara’s little spot on the sand. “And we can run around.”  

“But who’s going to watch our stuff?” Sara pointed out.  

“We both will. It’s not like we’re incapable of handling any motherfucker who tries to steal our shit.” Tegan pointed out.

“Alright, fine.” Sara sighed, carefully taking off her shoes and socks once she’d placed her sketchbook and pen back into the backpack. She rolled her jeans up as high as she could; only halfway up her calf. She allowed Tegan to lead her to the beach, and Tegan pulled her into running around a little bit. Sara kept glancing at their blanket to make sure nobody touched their belongings. She was able to keep tabs on their belongings but also play around with Tegan, as it turned out. They didn’t throw sand or anything like that; just played wave tag and chased each other, their hearts light as clouds.

Tegan secretly wanted to pick Sara up and kiss her, and maybe even have sex on that beach. She knew that she couldn’t, however. So she just fantasized about it.  

After a little while, Sara went back to the picnic blanket to take a break, so Tegan went with her and sat down next to her sister.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Tegan asked softly.

“Actually, yes,” Sara answered. “I didn’t really think that I would, but here we are.” She smiled, lightly resting her head on Tegan’s shoulder for a brief second. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Tegan pecked a kiss on Sara’s forehead. “I want this moment to last forever.” She let out a long breath.  

“Oh, Teetee.” Sara’s heart sank. “I wish I could give you better than this.”

“It’s fine… I just… It’s natural to want that, right?” Tegan bit her lip.

“Yeah… It is.” Sara removed her head from Tegan’s shoulder.  

They were somehow able to resume their fun, to Sara’s relief. She didn’t want to accidentally ruin a break for Tegan. After all, they were both eighteen. They needed time to be allowed to be happy and kick back and relax. And Tegan had a point about hiding near a group of people. They were less likely to be spotted by the agents. It was also common sense not to harm or involve civilians, especially on the agents’ part.

After a while, it got colder and Tegan was ready to go back to their room. So they packed their things up and walked home. Tegan was kind of tired, but she wanted to have sex before they went to bed. Besides, there was time. And perhaps she could even convince Sara to go out to a restaurant or café, rather than eat instant meals or granola bars. She smiled, and Sara placed her hand in the middle of her back to guide her along as they ascended the stairs.  

“In a couple weeks we’re going to turn nineteen,” Tegan remarked. “Our first birthday together…”  

“Hmm… I’m sure we can allow for something nice on that day.” Sara squeezed Tegan’s shoulder.

“We’ll just go to a crowded place… Or perhaps stay in our room all day, if we aren’t going to stay dressed.” She winked. Tegan’s smile widened.  

“I just want to stay in bed with you all evening, tonight,” Tegan said with a sigh.

“Horny teenagers generally do.” Sara quipped. Tegan snorted, caught off guard by that statement.  

They turned a corner and Sara withdrew her arm from Tegan’s back and barred her from moving forward with the same arm. Sara pushed Tegan behind herself and towards the stairs, turning that way herself. There, in front of the door to their room, was Stephen Quin. He smirked as he caught sight of them, but didn’t move otherwise. Sara had never seen him looking so smug as that… as though he’d already won this game of cat and mouse. Sara grabbed Tegan’s bicep and began running down the stairs.

 Tegan had seen Stephen, and she was perfectly fine with Sara’s executive decision. She had no idea what ideas Sara might have had, but Tegan knew one thing in this heat of the moment, and it was that Sara wasn’t good on the spot. So Tegan decided that she should take the lead, tugging them along for a couple blocks. She knew exactly what to do when she saw a car that looked like it was from the late 80s.  

“That car!” Tegan pointed, shoving some of their belongings into Sara’s hands. Tegan reached under her shirt, thanking fate that she had happened to wear a bra with underwire, managing to get the wire to poke out enough to remove it, and began using it in order to pick the lock. She grinned once the door opened, despite her ruined bra. She popped open the hood, as her next move. “Sara, you drive; I don’t know how,” Tegan said, before trying to hotwire the car.  

“You can pick the lock and hotwire a car, but you didn’t figure out how to drive one?” Sara asked, going around to the driver’s seat, after dumping their stuff into the passenger seat.

“I never had a permit!” Tegan protested. The car started, and she closed the hood. Tegan slipped into the passenger seat, putting on her seatbelt as she shut the door. Sara growled with irritation at the car.  

“It’s a stick shift.” She announced. “I’d like you to know that I’ve never driven one of these.”

“I don’t want to hurt anyone, so it’s for the best that I don’t drive. Plus… Well… That. If I can’t drive, then I don’t think that a stick shift is the best for me to learn on, and especially not in this situation.” Tegan pointed out, grabbing her phone and pulling up Maps. She gave Sara directions, as well as trying to figure out where to go. Eventually, they were traveling at the speed limit along a country-like road. The sun had almost completely set, and there was a car behind them. Both of them were antsy about it, but it didn’t look like this person was following them out of duty. Besides, this person was several car lengths away.  

“Thanks,” Sara said softly. “I… I wouldn’t have…”

“I know,” Tegan replied, squeezing Sara’s shoulder. “I’m going to change my bra now. This has gone on for long enough.” She reached into the bag to pull out a sports bra from the changes of clothes that Sara had packed for both of them. Sara managed to keep her eyes on the road, or on the rear-view mirror. Her eyebrow furrowed at the car. She bit her lip, growing unsure about it.  

“Tegan… The car behind us…” Sara chewed on her lip for a moment.

“I thought we concluded that it was fine.”

“It has been inching towards our car.” She pointed out. Tegan looked back, now fully dressed and her seatbelt back on. She frowned.

“You’re right.” She squinted, looking back at the driver’s face. “It’s not anyone we know… But I don’t have a good feeling about this.”

“Should we try to run on foot?” Sara offered.  

“I don’t know.” Tegan sighed. “We might be able to find some cover somewhere, or just hide behind some cows or something.”

“So, are you ready?” Sara asked. Tegan met her eyes, giving her a single nod, her lips pursed. Tegan quickly shoved some necessities into the backpack as Sara picked up speed in their car; going as fast as the car could handle. The car behind them was picking up speed too, but once Sara was satisfied with the distance they had gained, she decreased speed until she pulled over. The twins exited the car and climbed into the cow pasture next to them, not running at top speed, but going half as fast as they could. Tegan looked behind herself (as Sara was running in front of her), and gasped, seeing the agents climb out of the back of the pickup truck that had been following them.  

“Go!” Tegan yelled. Sara picked up speed, as did Tegan. They were almost to the edge of the cow pasture, but the ground had become uneven. Sara hopped the wire fence, using the wooden post for some assistance, and glanced back at Tegan to check on her progress. Her face went slack with horror, and Sara slowed down as she watched the most terrifying thing she could’ve possibly imagined happen.  

Because Tegan was looking back, she wasn’t watching where she was going. Things were made worse by the fact that it was dark out. The uneven terrain caused Tegan to trip, and as she realized what was happening, she turned to look forward, and the front of her head hit against the wooden post. Sara let out a bloodcurdling scream as she made her way back to Tegan. She pulled her sister’s head in her lap, the blood on Tegan’s forehead making her heart pound.

“Tegan? Teetee… Tegan, baby.” She cooed, patting her sister’s cheek, her voice actually very shrill and panicked. “Wake up. We have to go.” Sara pleaded. Her words were shaky. She checked Tegan’s pulse with a shaking hand, relieved that her sister’s heart was still beating. She looked up, tears miraculously not forming. She supposed that it was because she was in shock.  

Sara glared back at the agents. She observed a pair of vans coming onto the scene. The men were approaching them, but stayed back fifty meters or so. Sara pursed her lips. She had to make a choice. Tegan would likely have a concussion, and even if she’d heal quickly, Tegan would need things. Bandages, a bed in a dark place, quiet, ice… Sara swallowed. Tegan needed medical attention. As of that moment, there was only one place where she’d be likely to get it. She sighed, her shoulders slumping. After all they’d done to try to get away and be free…


	14. Chapter 14

“I can help her,” Stephen said coolly. “But I sense that there will be conditions from both ends.” He was standing over Sara and Tegan, having exited one of the vans that had pulled up. He had approached as Sara was desperately trying to get Tegan to regain consciousness.

Her initial instinct was to tell him to fuck off and leave her alone. She briefly considered picking Tegan up and carrying her away. But she feared that the agents by the road would try to stop her. Besides, she didn’t want to risk anything sabotaging Tegan’s recovery from the concussion; for instance, bad recovery conditions. Even if Tegan was a superhuman, the wrong conditions could prolong her recovery and get them captured anyway.

Her gut sank as she drew the conclusion of what she had to do.  

“You cannot separate us. You cannot do anything that would harm her.” Sara said with gritted teeth; avoiding looking at her father. “I don’t trust you.”

“We aren’t going to try to sabotage her recovery if you’re thinking that,” Stephen promised.  

“You’re going to do tests on us, aren’t you?” Sara scowled. She felt her rage bubbling up inside of her.  

“Back in the US.” He replied, unfazed. Sara shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut. This had to be a horrible nightmare. She’d wake up with Tegan in bed beside her, and Tegan would be alright. They would be safe. But everything was too real, whereas in dreams she’d only have a mild interest in her surroundings. And her investment into the situation was rather extreme, but rightfully so.

“I hate you.” She said, her voice quivering with rage. She wanted to strangle him and beat him to death.

“And we have control over you now.” Stephen’s voice was smooth and unbothered. Sara wanted to cry. She wanted to sob and scream. But she wouldn’t cry in front of her father. She refused to let him have that power over her.  

“You’re getting cocky. It’s not usually very wise to think you’ve won when you haven’t, yet.” Sara replied through her teeth.  

“Oh, but I have.” He replied. “Come along, Sara… We need to make sure that Tegan’s in a safe place when she wakes up.” Sara wanted to torture and murder him. But instead, she carefully picked Tegan up in her arms, and carefully carried her sister into the back of a van, eyes cast down. She was instructed to place Tegan on a cot. There were two; clearly hastily placed in the back of this van. Sara concluded that they’d originally been planning on knocking them both out and having them in different vans. She was happy to fuck up their original plans, she thought to herself as she sat on the cot, wearing the backpack, her hand holding Tegan’s limp one.  

After several horrible minutes inside of that van from hell, Tegan awoke, groaning and whimpering in pain.

“Tegan!” Sara said, her voice filled with relief. Tegan sat up, moaning. The medical attendant procured a bag for Tegan to vomit into. The elder twin was coughing after she initially threw up. Sara grabbed a water bottle and helped Tegan rinse out her mouth.  

“Sara…” Tegan groaned. “My head hurts.” The back of the van was rather dark since electronic lights weren’t good for a concussion.  

“Don’t fall asleep,” Sara warned, moving to sit on Tegan’s cot. The elder twin curled up, leaning her body against Sara’s, arms wrapped around the younger twin. Sara whispered comforting words into Tegan’s ear. The medical attendant did her best not to interfere while also treating Tegan. Tegan needed to lay down, and rest, so Sara had Tegan use her body as a pillow.     
They were driven to an airport and loaded onto a private jet. Sara allowed the medical attendant to give Tegan pain killers for her headache, along with some canned soup to prevent it from biting Tegan in the ass but otherwise refused any food or drinks offered to her and Tegan aside from bottled water.  

Sara confined herself to the partitioned bit of the jet where Tegan was situated on a cot. Sara sat in a chair next to her sister and softly talked to her as Tegan rested. The chair wasn’t exactly comfortable, but Sara didn’t give a flying rat’s ass. She reluctantly took bathroom breaks as needed and escorted Tegan when she needed the facilities.  

Eventually, Stephen stepped behind the curtain and into their space.  

“Sara, I’d like to talk to you.” He said.  

“If you are going to say it to me, you can say it in front of Tegan,” Sara replied coolly, not bothering to mention that Tegan had been cleared to nap for a bit, and wouldn’t hear what they said. Besides, she wasn’t in the mood to leave Tegan’s side.  

“Fine.”  He sighed. “We need to talk about the conditions.”

“You must keep us together,” Sara said again, glaring at him. “And you cannot harm either of us.”

“That leaves room for you to resist,” Stephen observed. “How about, we are allowed to separate the two of you, but we cannot harm or intentionally do anything bad to you.”

“We have to consent to any tests you subject us to. And we have to know, in detail, what they are and why you are subjecting us to them.” Sara replied. “We have to be allowed to go outside and get some sunlight and exercise each day. We must be well taken care of.”

“You can stop refusing any food or drinks we give you,” Stephen informed her. “We aren’t going to give you anything bad for you.”

“Well, we hadn’t had this talk yet,” Sara muttered stiffly. “And I know you. I’m your little science experiment to observe.”

  “I’m your father.”

“Only legally.” Sara stared back into his eyes, trying to make him feel as unsettled as possible. She internally smirked when he shifted a little bit.  

“I helped to create you.”  

“So did Sonia and everyone else.”  

“I raised you.”

“That means nothing to me.” Sara kept all emotion out of her voice. “If anything Harvard University raised me. Once I got past that age where you could even hope for unconditional love from me, that campus was home to me. Its walls nurtured me. The people there taught me. Not you.”  

“Do you have any more conditions?” Stephen asked.  

“If you keep Tegan and me apart, do you promise that you will not harm her or make her feel bad? Nothing may negatively impact her physically, mentally, or emotionally.” She said, her voice cold and hard as marble.

“And what about you?”

“I can take anything you dish out.” She answered. “Anything you want to do to Tegan… Do to me before you ever come near her.” Sara warned.  

“You love her,” Stephen observed.

“People often love their siblings,” Sara replied. He was silent for a moment. “You’re not going to get anything out of me.” She stated. “Please leave me alone now. I think it’s time for Tegan to wake up.” Stephen stood for a moment and then exited the curtained off area.

“It’s time to wake her up.” The medical attendant said, returning. She was referring to Tegan. It had been an hour and a half. Sara sat by, motionless; allowing Stacy to do her job until Tegan sat up.

“Sara?” The younger twin snapped back to the present with Tegan raspily saying her name.  

“I’m here.” She replied, forcing a gentle smile onto her face, but it became more natural the more she stared into her lover's face. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah… I remember who and where I am and everything.” Tegan grinned lopsidedly. “It’s not as bad as they originally thought, huh? Mainly because I have the super healing, I think.” Sara exhaled through her nose.

“I wish I could have kept you from tripping. I should have been holding your hand.” Sara muttered, shaking her head. “This is my fault.”

“Sara, you had no choice, ok? I was telling you to run, and I wasn’t watching where I was going, even when the ground was really uneven.” Tegan shrugged. “It’s mainly my fault. I left you in a difficult position, and I’m sorry.”

“They’re going to perform tests on us,” Sara informed her.  

“How did I guess that?” Tegan asked sarcastically under her breath.  

“I negotiated with my father so that they won’t harm you,” Sara confessed. “I… I made him promise not to do anything to you unless they did it to me first.”  

“Of course you did,” Tegan muttered.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sara protested.  

“You’re so damn protective of me.” Tegan tried to smile a bit… But it didn’t stay. “I… You love me a lot.”

“More than anything. I’ve told you that.” Sara answered softly.  

“They’re going to separate us, aren’t they?” Tegan’s eyes began to water, and Sara felt a stab into her heart.

“I tried to prevent that.” Sara offered.  

“How did I ever deserve someone like you loving me? I… I don’t really feel like I’m worthy of your love.” Tegan revealed.  

“I feel like that too.” Sara let out a sigh. “I think every couple feels like this, but I don’t think they feel this way for the reasons we do.”

“Did you just call us a couple?” Tegan asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, isn’t that what we are?” Sara shrugged. Tegan grinned. It was a contagious smile, and Sara found her lips forming a smile as well. She left a kiss on top of Tegan’s head.  

They were both aware of the fact that they might not be allowed to see each other after they landed, so they’d milk this for all that it was worth. Tegan didn’t know how she and Sara would work out without talking or seeing each other. Would they even be able to see each other again?

“Sara…” Tegan beckoned Sara down so that she could whisper to her. “Don’t give them your all. Don’t show them what you can do. Exactly a week after I’ve made a full recovery, we are going to bust out of wherever they have us. Noon.” Sara was genuinely surprised at this.  

“Alright.” She agreed, her mind practically spinning with the fact that Tegan had been the one to come up with the idea to rebel. “I can get you some ice cream.” Tegan let out a small sigh with relief at that. They shared the ice cream, both dreading the moment they landed, when they had, in fact, been dreading the moment they’d get taken away.

Sara felt it worse than Tegan did because she knew that she’d had a choice. It was the worst choice she’d ever had to make, but it was still there. The slight possibility of getting away mocked her. Sara had a bit of an idea as to what it’d have entailed, and she’d have been risking Tegan’s health for the rest of her life, but she gave up their freedom. She didn’t know for how long, but she still felt like shit over it. They hadn’t even known each other for a year, and they lost the freedom that they’d had even as little children.  

They both understood that if they had to consent to the experiments before they could be done, that they could refuse and go on strike, but that wouldn’t work. These scientists weren’t stupid. They could keep them from knowing how the other was, or prevent them from seeing each other, or any number of things. So they’d have to comply and resist in their own way.

After the thirteen-hour flight concluded, both Sara and Tegan felt so out of it and jetlagged that they could barely walk off of the jet. They didn’t fail to notice that they were at Area 51, but it wasn’t all that surprising if one wanted their complete honesty. They were guided into a hallway and then pulled into separate rooms. They were assured that they would see each other before the end of the day (it was early in the morning).

They were particularly gentle with Tegan, as she needed to not do anything too physical. Also, Sara would likely fly into a rage if they weren’t.  

Both twins were asked to shower and DNA samples would be taken from them. They’d have a physical examination the next day. Sara mechanically went through the motions of washing herself and doing as they requested. The assured her that the same things were being done with Tegan. Sara didn’t have a problem with anything until she was herded into an interrogation style room and sat down on the chair, only for Sonia to walk in and sit down at the other side of the table. Sara stiffened more than she already was, if that were possible. Her jaw clenched, and she avoided eye contact with Sonia.  

“Hello, Sara,” Sonia said.  

No response.  

“I’m going to ask you some questions, and I need you to answer as honestly as possible for me, ok?” Still no response. Sonia realized that Sara wasn’t going to engage in pleasantries.

“Is Stephen asking Tegan questions?” This inquiry surprised Sonia, and she almost didn’t hear it because of how quiet Sara’s voice was.  

“Oh, um… yes.” Sonia replied, caught off guard.

“I will not answer any questions until he is no longer interrogating her.” Sara folded her arms over her chest in the scrubs she’d been provided to wear.  

“You don’t trust him around Tegan.” Sonia sighed.

“What do you think?” Sara quirked an eyebrow.  

“You care for your sister.” The older woman tried.

“We aren’t doing this,” Sara announced. “Not until someone else is asking her the questions.” Sonia reluctantly pulled out a radio and followed Sara’s request.  

“Are you going to behave now?” Sonia pleaded.

“I will comply with reasonable requests.” Sara was sitting, staring straight forward, not making eye contact with Sonia.

“Exactly when did you and Tegan start living together?” She began.

“As soon as she arrived at my apartment,” Sara replied. Sonia realized that this really wasn’t going to be easy. Hopefully, Tegan would do as she was told more so than Sara was.  

“How did you plan this meetup?” She tried again.

“Through talking.” Sara’s voice was cold, stiff, and short.  

“And how were you talking to one another?” Sonia decided to try to work around this slight complication.

“Technology.”

Sonia could feel the frustration sparking inside of herself. But being a scientist meant that she’d need patience.  

Several questions and useless answers later, Sonia rubbed her face, letting out a sigh. She realized her mistake, but she honestly didn’t care. She mentally dared anyone else who thought that they might be able to do better to try getting any specifics out of Sara.  

For Sara, talking about the specifics was an invasion of her privacy. She had wanted to dump her backpack in a trash can to protect all of her sketchbooks, but she didn’t think that she would be able to actually do it, so she didn’t. The drawings of everything she loved were sacred to her. The pictures of Holiday and Mickey were special to her because they were the first living things that she’d loved. And the drawings of Tegan were not to be shown to anyone except the muse herself. Especially the nude drawings of Tegan. In the moment, Sara had wanted to create art that reflected the beauty of the one she loved most, but she feared that at that very moment, people were going through everything she’d ever drawn in those books. They had asked her to give up her backpack, and Sara knew that they had searched it, which made her gut drop and shatter into a million pieces.

She knew that Sonia was frustrated. This had been part of her plan. She made eye contact with Tegan’s mother.  

“I’d like to ask some questions now. If you answer them completely, you can ask me all of those questions again, and I will answer them as completely as you answer mine. All of them. And if I’m in a good enough mood, perhaps I’ll answer more. All completely honestly.” She stated calmly, sounding relaxed.  

“It depends on the questions,” Sonia answered sitting forward.  

“You’ll see,” Sara replied.  

“How about you ask a question, and then I ask one related to it?” Sonia offered.

“Deal.” Sara nodded once. “I’ll start. First… How did they keep finding us?” Her voice was cold and robotic.

“Stephen got a warrant to track your phone’s location,” Sonia answered. “We figured that Tegan was staying with you, no matter what tracking of her phone that we did. How did you make it seem like Tegan was calling from Asia?”

“I learned how to hack when I was a teenager,” Sara replied. “I taught Tegan what I know, and she picked it up from there. But we’re not very good compared to a lot of people out there, if you’re planning to put us to work.”

“I’m not,” Sonia promised.

“Are they searching my backpack?” Sara asked, after a pause.

“Yes… Why do you care?” Sonia frowned.

“My sketchbooks are in there and they’re extremely personal and therefore private,” Sara explained, hiding the fact that she’d needed confirmation. “How long are you planning on holding Tegan and myself?”

“We don’t know. Stephen and I aren’t at the top. Now, who helped you and Tegan?” Sonia folded her arms.  

“Who’s at the top?” Sara quirked an eyebrow.  

Silence.  

“Are you and Tegan intimate?”

“Why does it matter how close she and I are?” Sara clenched her jaw. “I don’t ask you if you and Stephen were fucking while you were trying to track us down.”  

“I’m a married woman!” Sonia protested.

“And Tegan is my identical twin sister.” Sara pointed out.  

“You love her a lot,” Sonia observed.  

“Because she’s just like me! She understands!” Sara exclaimed with exasperation. “Do you have any idea how incredibly lonely mine and Tegan’s childhoods were?! No, you don’t, because you fucking caused it! You and Stephen practically made sure that Tegan and I would become codependent because we weren’t allowed to have anyone our age, period, much less someone who understood what it’s like to be able to do things and be something that you have to hide. And you wonder how we bonded so quickly? Were there not psychologists on your team?! Could they have not told you how horribly this was going to go?! You adults just wanted to shove our feelings out of the way and focus on your own! How did anyone ever let you be a parent like that? Let’s not even get started on my father.” Sara scoffed. “I was his little science experiment/trophy child. And you basically kept Tegan prisoner.” Sara stood up, kicking her chair to push it in, and began pacing. Sonia’s jaw had dropped open after the fourth sentence. “We didn’t want for things to be like this! We just wanted to have someone who felt similarly. So if you want to blame someone for making Tegan and I the way we are, look no further than yourselves! You’re going to claim that you and Stephen loved us, and that’s why you had to do what you did… That was not love! That was you claiming authority over children and taking advantage of our trust. And you decide to act surprised when it turns out that Tegan and I connect deeply and find that we want to stay in contact, and eventually live together? How the fuck are you able to even question us loving each other?! She and I felt completely alone in this world, only to find that there was one other person… Use your fucking piece of shit brain!” Sara was yelling, her eyes flashing in anger.  

Once Sonia realized that Sara was finished letting her have it, she picked up her things and exited the room, muttering about needing to do something.  

Meanwhile, Tegan merely deflected the questions she didn’t want to answer. She’d mumble some half-assed response. All she wanted was to be able to see Sara. The person asking the questions eventually just gave up.  

After a while, Sonia came into the room to replace the person asking her the questions, and Tegan sat bolt up. Her mother looked like she’d lost an emotional fight.

“Mum?” Tegan whispered.  

“We’re going to let you eat lunch with Sara now,” Sonia explained softly. Tegan was escorted to a room where Sara was sitting at one of many tables. It looked like a cafeteria. There looked to be agents standing around the corners.

“Tegan!” Sara cried out in relief, standing up, and hurrying over to pull Tegan into an embrace.

“Sara!” Tegan would have practically tackled Sara with a hug, but she still had a concussion, so she couldn’t get too physical.  She buried her face into Sara’s shoulder. “I missed you so much. All I wanted was to see you again.”

“I know, Tegan,” Sara whispered tenderly, noticing that Sonia left the room, leaving them alone with just the agents. Tegan had no doubt that if they ‘acted up’, these agents would attack them. She figured that if they were going to get in trouble over hugging, they would have said something already. The two pulled away just enough to look at one another, almost mesmerized at the fact that the other was really intact. They knew that they probably wouldn’t be harmed because they were useful; their abilities would be tested. But they both feared losing each other.

They sat down at the table, next to one another, and the medical attendant from the jet served them trays of food.  

“There are no foreign substances added.” She informed them. “So you can eat up.”

Sara halted Tegan in her attempt to eat a forkful and chose to be the one to test it out. After a moment, she allowed Tegan to eat. They held hands under the table, their sides pressed together; trying to be as close to each other as possible.  

After they finished eating, the medical attendant took their trays and stood by the table, looking nervous and watched them as though she were waiting for something to happen.  

Tegan felt herself getting drowsy, and leaning against Sara. “Sasa…” She murmured.  

“Oh fuck.” Sara yawned but didn’t look like she had been hit nearly as hard as Tegan had. Well, Sara did have a higher alcohol tolerance, so perhaps it was a similar case with the drugs they’d been given. Tegan wrapped her arms around Sara, and Sara pulled Tegan to herself. “No… No…” Sara murmured. Tegan slipped into darkness with her sister’s soft protests sounding further and further away.


	15. Chapter 15

Tegan wasn’t asked to do anything particularly straining, at first. She’d sleep inside the room they gave her, with the nice bed and chair, and the glass of water on the little bedside table in case she got thirsty in the night. Once she woke up, she’d stroll around the room, unsure of what she was supposed to do, until the medical attendant named Stacy would hurry in with a tray of food and a large water bottle for Tegan before leaving again. After Tegan had eaten, she’d come back in and examine her. During the week she was recovering from her concussion (she really only needed five days, but they wanted to make sure), Tegan was given little puzzles to do, with EEG electrodes attached to her head, and the medical attendant timed her on the completion of them. They grew increasingly harder and varied more as time went by. Tegan knew not to solve them as well as she actually could. She carefully slowed down her process and pretended to think differently than she actually did. There were people in lab coats holding clipboards and writing things down with pens. She was silently furious at all of them for sedating her and Sara as to make it easier to separate them. As hard as it was to swallow all of her anger, Tegan had to, or else they wouldn’t relax enough to make her and Sara’s escape successful.  

Sara was physically tested as to what she could do; things she and Tegan had tested and expanded together. She was asked to run certain distances and lift certain weights; things like that. She heeded Tegan’s words and didn’t do things as well as she actually could. For example, when they had her do as many sit-ups as she could, Sara stopped when she plain didn’t want to anymore, rather than when her abdominal muscles couldn’t take it anymore. She told them that their bodies, as superhumans, had a much higher temperature tolerance than regular humans in order to explain why she didn’t look exerted; a complete lie. That was something that the people observing her quickly wrote down on their clipboards.  

Every day, she’d ask for updates on Tegan, and at the end of the day, if she complied enough (she always did), they’d tell her. Sara was doing her best to manipulate them into believing that she’d gotten all of her anger out when she went off on Sonia and that she had resignedly accepted that life would be much better for both her and Tegan if she behaved. Frankly, Sara wasn’t quite sure if these people intently observing her and Tegan even realized that they were people with actual emotions and ambitions too.  

Sara was aware that not all scientists were like that (she hated that argument with a passion, though) because she’d met some professors whose appreciation and respect for all living things were enhanced by delving deeper into their field of science. But these people seemed to treat her like some robot to perform tricks or them until they understood how she worked. The days were rather long for her. Sara didn’t even really get any peace at night. They’d attach little things to her and monitor her body as she slept.  

She just wanted to masturbate the stress away in the shower, but she had no doubt that they’d want to monitor her and ask questions about it, the way they did with almost everything else. It felt like nothing was allowed to be private, just because she wasn’t a ‘normal’ human being. So the first week dragged on; long and frustrating. The second week, Sara was put into virtual reality situations and was monitored on how she figured things out via EEG electrodes. Sara didn’t perform as well as she could; again, on purpose.  

When Sara finally saw Tegan again, it was a couple of days into the virtual reality thing. Sara was fine with it, but she was utterly bored with the whole situation. And then they brought Tegan into it. They had Sara don the virtual reality gear and gave Tegan the instructions to defusing the bomb Sara was seeing. Tegan took one look at it and began asking questions as to what kind of bomb it was, what each wire did, and all sorts of other questions that made Sara smile. Eventually, they actually did what the scientists wanted them to do. That day seemed to be dedicated to their teamwork. The twins managed to perfect the way they worked together to the point where it looked completely effortless and like they worked the same way as the other. They couldn’t let anyone know their actual strengths and weaknesses. So they fed fake ones to the clipboards.  

Every second she and Sara were in the same room, Tegan just wanted to hug Sara and maybe even kiss her. Sure, they had to be strong for each other and prepare to fight back in just a few days, but Tegan wanted to cry. But that would mean being emotional. And that was showing emotion; one of Tegan’s weaknesses.  

After the one day they were instructed to work together, they were separated again. Tegan went through all the physical tests that Sara had undergone, while Sara completed the mental ones Tegan had been given. Both of them were bored and tired of it all; being given the tests without being asked if they were willing to complete them and on top of that, they hadn’t seen the sun in so long…

 Stephen had lied. Sara knew that he would, but perhaps not to this extent. Sure, she hadn’t really gotten her hopes up; she just hadn’t expected them to be so cold and uncaring as they separated the twins from each other.  

Oh, how they longed for noon of the fourteenth day. Boredom had swallowed all of the rest of their emotions, and they had both become distant. They were aware that they were being talked about, but ignored it, holding onto hope.  

When the fourteenth day arrived, both twins managed to hide the spike in their spirits. They were ready to fight. Sara thought about how she’d begin as she completed yet another puzzle that was easier than she let on. She still had hours before it was time. She reminded herself that even if she and Tegan weren’t successful, they’d be able to go down fighting this time, and then she’d know for sure that she’d done all that she could do.

Tegan was clinging to hope, imagining everything she and Sara would be able to do once they got free. They might go to Canada and live there for a while, snuggling up together in flannel. Or they might go to France and drink wine and eat cheese and explore the nightlife. These beautiful but unrealistic fantasies gave her emotional strength that she would need in order to harm other humans. And she would if she was going to even hope that she could escape.  

When the clock struck noon, the medical attendant was bringing Sara lunch. She set the tray down in front of her, and Sara grabbed her wrist tightly. The woman—a twenty-something and clearly not trained in self-defense, yelped. Sara, quick as lightning, stood with her hand on this woman’s throat.  

“I know you’re watching!” She announced. “Let me out, or else I’ll kill her.”

“Go ahead.” A voice said. “She volunteered to be a part of this, and it’s her own fault if she dies. Besides, you’ll have her blood on your hands.”

“I can live with that.” Sara gripped this attendant’s throat, causing her to cry out as she was being choked. Sara fished for a keycard in this woman’s pockets. She swiftly snapped this woman’s neck, dragging her along as she strode to the door and unlocked it with the keycard, and then opened it with a retinal scan of the woman’s eyes. Sara tossed the corpse away before going through the door.  She was inside of a buffer room with several other people. There was a one-way window looking into the room. “Oh, bother.” Sara let out a mocking sigh. “I’m going to have to deal with all of you, too.” She grinned darkly. “But since I’ve been angry, it’ll be nice to be able to get it out of my system.”

For Tegan, she was being led down a hallway to where she’d be given lunch after an exhausting morning when the clock struck noon. She struck both escorts on either side of her with elbows to their guts, causing them to double over in pain. She grabbed their necks, ramming their heads together; knocking them unconscious, then throwing them to her sides. She attacked the next person, introducing their wrist to their shoulder blade, which gave her use of their tranquilizer gun. She shot the darts at the other people in the hallway, dodging the ones shot her way. She successfully hit some people. Others, Tegan had to tackle and knock unconscious.  

She wasn’t fully sure where she was in the building. All of the hallways looked alike, and she didn’t have Sara’s perfect memory. She knew that it was unwise to yell for her sister, as that would give away her position to literally anyone nearby, and they might be armed. So Tegan began to search for weapons that she could use. She stole the belt from one security person. She loaded it with another (more loaded) tranquilizer gun and a Taser. She found a keycard from the highest ranking person, hoping that she could reprogram the wires to forego the retinal scan. She wandered around, completely lost.  

A door shut, and Tegan heard a pair of socked feet in the wing adjacent to the one she was in. She and Sara weren’t allowed shoes but had been given socks, and this person sounded small enough to be Sara. So Tegan peeked over and breathed out a sigh of relief upon seeing her sister. She hurried over. Sara saw her the second Tegan had made a single sound, and the two clung to each other in a tight embrace. They exchanged a quick but passionate kiss, and then pulled away to catch each other up.

“Did you get hurt?” Tegan asked, giving Sara a quick look. There was blood on her scrubs.

“No, people were just in my way,” Sara explained quickly. “But what about you? Did they hurt you?”

“I’m ok,” Tegan promised. “They didn’t hit me with anything.” Sara let out a breath of relief.  

“What do you have there?” Sara raised an eyebrow at Tegan’s belt. Upon closer inspection, she realized what Tegan had done. “I like it. Great idea.” Tegan took her hand.

“How are we going to get out? It’s practically a labyrinth in here.” Tegan murmured. “With multiple minotaurs.” Sara squeezed her hand.  

“We probably ended up at a very different part of the building compared to the part we were brought into,” Sara muttered. “That’s the wise thing to do. Also… To have cameras and microphones…” Tegan took a deep breath and let it out. She really didn’t like the feeling of being watched, especially with that kiss they’d shared.

“We’re not alone, though. We have each other.” Tegan reminded herself.  

The two broke out into a run together, glancing around the hallways. Sara marked each corridor they went down with bloody marks from the liquid on her clothing. Tegan wouldn’t lie to herself; she didn’t like the fact that they had to force their way out, but she knew that she had to be willing to do what she needed to.

Sara noted that the halls were suspiciously empty. She followed the sounds of people talking softly. It was a faint sound, so there were some false attempts as she navigated. She figured she could get out of there easier if they could force someone to ‘help’ them get out of there.  Some might have complained that them doing so was just as bad as what the scientists had already done, but Sara couldn’t care less. She figured that if these people were going to hold them against their will (and complying and submitting did not mean that it wasn’t against their will; Sara just had no other choice at the time), she had a right to fight for her way out.

Her thoughts found her sketchbooks inside of her backpack… Wherever those items lay. She’d never received them back after they’d been confiscated. Sara felt like she was leaving a part of herself behind, but wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. She feared that if by some miracle, she received them back, the drawings would be tainted for her after other people looked through them without her permission. It was almost like someone reading her diary. Not that Sara had one; she preferred to communicate her thoughts to Tegan, the cats, and her own self. But Sara’s art was like a piece of her heart that she had lovingly transferred to paper. One could easily guess what had happened in Sara’s life based on what she was drawing. The most recent sketchbook was just Tegan with a few drawings of Holiday and Mickey thrown into the mix.  

Holiday and Mickey… Sara’s heart sank a little bit, as she remembered them again. And, just like all of the other times, she thought, ‘at least they’ll have Eva, Emy, and everyone else.’

They turned a corner, and Tegan sucked in her breath. There was a large group of agents standing at a doorway… blocking it. Stephen and Sonia were standing within that group, like they were being protected, which was probably the case.

Tegan pulled Sara back before they could be spotted.  

“Do we have a plan?” She whispered in Sara’s ear.  

“Fight our way out,” Sara replied simply, but quietly.

“That’s probably not going to work.” Tegan protested. “We don’t know our way out of here.”

“We’ll make them help us,” Sara explained. “And that’s how we’ll get out.”

“Maybe if we make our parents want to help us,” Tegan suggested. “And they can call off the entire thing…”

“With my father, that’s not fucking likely,” Sara warned. “And I went off on your mother, so I don’t know if she’ll have much sympathy for us.”  

“We can try. And if that doesn’t work, then we’ll have to force our way out.” Tegan replied. “Does that sound like a good plan?” She took the Taser out of the belt and pressed it into Sara’s hand. She’d be better off with it than Tegan would.  

“Of course,” Sara replied. She softly kissed Tegan on the lips, both of their sets of determined eyes meeting. “Let’s do this.”

“I love you,” Tegan whispered. “No matter what happens… I want you to remember that.”

“Like I could ever forget.” Sara smiled sadly. She pressed a gentle kiss on Tegan’s forehead, cupping the back of her twin’s head. “I love you too.”

And the two of them charged into battle. Their speed gave them an enormous advantage, and with Tegan’s tranquilizer gun, they took out around five agents before their enemies knew what hit them. Sara launched herself right into the physical fighting, absorbing the volts of stun guns shot at her. Her primary goal was to protect Tegan, and she succeeded as Tegan was taking out the agents whom Sara had not immediately attacked. Tegan dodged the tranquilizer darts that whizzed by her with agility and grace.  

When Tegan ran out of darts, she leaped at a man who was about to shoot the whirlwind that was Sara. As Tegan flew at this man, Sara tossed Tegan the Taser, and she caught it and sent electricity into his body. She didn’t really even want to hurt anyone, so she went after anyone who was trying to hurt Sara. Until…

“Tegan?!” Sonia gasped. Tegan turned, meeting her mother’s eyes. She hadn’t seen Sonia anywhere around this place since they’d briefly spoken in the interrogation room, and in the heat of fighting, Tegan had briefly forgotten what she was trying to accomplish.

“Mum, I…” Tegan hesitated, pursing her lips in an expression of nervousness but also determination. “I want to negotiate.”

“Is that so?” Stephen asked, stepping towards Tegan.

“Yeah, we don’t have to live like this.” Tegan offered, desperate for something better than having to live a life where she and Sara had to hide the most innocent thing about themselves; their relationship as sisters. Tegan just wanted to be able to be around Sara without constantly having to worry about people trying to separate them. “There has to be a better way.”

“TEGAN WATCH OUT!” Sara called out.  

Tegan turned, and falcon punched the agent coming at her with a Taser. She kicked him square in the chest so that he fell to the ground. She’d used more force than some might think that she should, but he was trying to hurt and interrupt her while she was talking.  

Just as she was about to turn around again to speak with Stephen and Sonia, she felt volts of electricity flowing in her neck. Tegan screamed in pain, her knees buckling. Somewhere, she could hear her mother’s gasp of horror. She fell to the ground, her hands planted on the ground; her arms bracing her so that she wouldn’t collapse completely. She let out a pained moan.

 Although Tegan should’ve had a higher pain tolerance, she felt like most of that ability went to Sara. Tegan could heal quickly, but she wasn’t sure if she could get up. She let out a long moan of pain, wanting to curl into a ball on the floor.  

“What the FUCK?” Sara demanded. Tegan could hear bodies being shoved out of the way. She wanted to close her eyes but refused to be pushed down like this. She managed to turn her body and see Sara grasping the throat of her father. The rest of the fighting ceased, as all agents feared to cause the death of one of the two leaders. “What the fuck was going through your head?” Sara hissed. “Did you really think you could just get away with that?”

“You two were being violent. It was self-defense.” Stephen protested. “What else was I supposed to do?”

“How fucking dare you? I don’t care what you do to me, but you do  _not_ fucking touch Tegan.” Sara growled slowly, her entire being livid.

“You won’t do it.” Stephen said calmly, confident that he could reason with his daughter. “Not in front of Tegan. You know she’ll never see you in the same way ever again. Besides, I’m your father, and you’re just letting your emotions get the best of you. You and Tegan are dangers to everyone else. You are our experiment. You belong here, where you can’t hurt anyone.”

“You don’t know anything about me or Tegan.” Sara scoffed. “And you’re not my father, and we don’t belong to you or anyone. And yes, emotions do exist, but they’re not bad. Tegan and I love each other in a way that you could never even begin to comprehend. But I bet you’ve never felt love in your entire life. But who could ever love you? After all that you’ve done… Not even I could love you, even when I was a young child. And even then you couldn’t get me to do what you wanted.”

“You still won’t--” And with those words, she snapped his neck, her angry eyes only seeing the color red. She let his dead body fall to the ground and spat on the corpse. Sara glanced around; daring anyone else to incur her wrath. They were all shocked to the point that they didn’t move to do anything. Everyone except Tegan, who knew that Sara could never hurt her, and that she had just saved both of them, or at least bought them some time.

Once Sara saw this, she immediately knelt beside her twin to check on her. Sara’s vision cleared, and her anger melted away; replaced by worry, but she did not let it show to anyone else in the room.

“Tegan!?” Sara asked; her heart still pounding. Tegan let out a whimper back. Sara stilled Tegan with gentle hands and carefully pulled the barbs out of Tegan's neck, tossing it to the side, her jaw set. Because she knew her sister so well, Tegan could see behind the cold titanium armor Sara presented to everyone within the vicinity. She knew that her lover was actually extremely concerned and wanted to make sure that she would never be wounded again; physically, emotionally, or mentally.

But it was not like Sara to show her vulnerable feelings in front of strangers unless she was panicking. And when it came to Tegan’s health or safety, Sara was prone to being almost violently alarmed and act out in desperation.

Tegan’s eyes filled with tears of relief, for she was overcome with emotion. She could sense that they were going to be safe. Sara could make her feel such a wide range of emotions, strangely all in a positive way. Perhaps a better way to put it was Sara made Tegan happy, but that was filled with undertones of many emotions that Tegan hadn’t known could be put into a positive light. She knew that things would be alright from hereon out, because she had Sara, and Sara knew that there was truly nothing that could keep them apart anymore, aside from death; and even that would only be temporary.


	16. Chapter 16

“Let the violence end with Stephen Quin’s death,” Sonia announced, glancing at the twins, truly realizing how much Sara cared for the girl Sonia considered her daughter and how dangerous it was to make them do anything that they didn’t truly want to do.

Sara and Tegan were left undisturbed while people cleaned up the area; removing the dead bodies as Sara knelt next to Tegan; shielding her as though daring anyone to try anything, but they were all afraid of the five foot two smaller twin. For once, everyone recognized what power she possessed inside of her, and knew that mercy did not exist when it came to Sara when Tegan had been hurt or threatened.

Sonia swallowed nervously as she approached the twins when it was time to ask them what they wanted now; where they wanted to go, and what they wanted to do. She had to watch her step from now on. She was left in charge of this project from now on, and one slip could result in more death or perhaps, if the girls were ambitious or angry enough, total ruin for the government.

“I’m going to have to ask you to come into my office.” Sonia tried to keep the tremble out of her voice, but Tegan knew her mother too well; she instantly sensed that Sonia was afraid of them. Tegan didn’t know if that was something she viewed as a good or not. After all, fear of them would likely allow them to be left alone, but her own mother being afraid of her made Tegan feel a bit like a monster when all that she and Sara had done was try to live a normal life together. But Tegan began to think about this critically; perhaps they were being manipulated into showing how non-threatening they were. What if they were being groomed into being soft and harmless so that they could be thrown into this shit again?

Tegan changed her posture so that her body language reeked of confidence. Sara released her and stood up. She turned to look at Sonia coldly, and it was fairly obvious that Sara was willing to kill Sonia if need be. Tegan would have mixed emotions if that happened, but she was sure that Sara would only go to such an extreme solution if one or both of their lives or well-beings were being threatened. And if it came down to it, if Tegan had to kill her mother to save or protect Sara… She would. Sara mattered more to her than Sonia did. It didn’t matter who raised Tegan if the alternative was losing the only person who understood and truly loved her.

They followed Sonia into her office, where there were screens on every wall. One wall was dedicated to being a larger version of a tablet, with a stylus in a little holder. Sara set her jaw as she thought about Sonia and Stephen in this very room planning to find and capture them. Tegan felt dread in her gut. Sure, she had known what her mother had done in order to create her, but this was a whole new aspect of Sonia. It became a thousand times more real in this room.

Her feelings towards her mother would never again be as simple as they were when Tegan was a mere child. Sure, Sonia had kept her shut and locked away, but that had been justified, even though in a poor way. Tegan had been able to understand and even forgive that; she needed to be hidden from people who might find out about her abilities, though this had been accomplished in a very extreme method. But Sonia had gone out of her way to interfere with Tegan’s happy life with Sara. Tegan was eighteen; about to turn nineteen the next day.  Even though they were teenagers, Sara and Tegan were still two consenting adults, and they deserved to be able to have privacy. Sara had explained to Tegan how the Supreme Court had gleaned the right to privacy out of the first amendment when deciding on Roe vs. Wade. Just because they had been produced in a government experiment did not mean that they didn't have basic human rights.

"We need to figure out what do with the two of you." Sonia finally said, sitting down in her swivel desk chair. Her eyes were obviously tired and defeated; dark circles and worry lines completing the look. Her hair hadn't been washed, and her white lab coat was wrinkled and stained. Tegan's image of her loving mother seemed like an entirely different person from the scientist in front of her.

"How about let us go home?" Sara suggested, her voice cold and emotionless in a way that suggested that this wasn't actually much of a suggestion at all. More like a warning. She and Tegan refused to sit down at the chairs that Sonia had procured for them.

"We're going to do that!" Sonia promised quickly. "We'll get you the plane tickets you want for when you want... we just need to make sure that there is no miscommunication."

"What do you have to tell us? That we're going to prison?" Sara crossed her arms over her chest, no longer touching Tegan. "Everything we did was out of self-defense, in response to you people trying to kidnap and harm us."

"I know." Sonia sighed, shutting her eyes for a moment. "For the two of you, there are no consequences for what has happened here. None of it is your fault, and we will continue to recognize it. We understand that you won't want to be in contact with us after you leave, but we need to make sure that we are clear on any and all conditions either side may have."

"We're going to talk first," Tegan informed her. "We want to be left alone. We want the freedom to move around and live wherever we want. We want to pursue whatever jobs we like."

"Our only request is that you tell nobody of what you are, what you can do, and the experiment that resulted in your existence." Sonia folded her hands in her lap, looking small. "As far as anyone is concerned, you are normal women. Don't even talk about any of this hypothetically. Especially not to other nations. In return, we will do whatever we can to make your lives easier. And... You will always have jobs for the government if you so desire." Sonia swallowed, avoiding eye contact. "You won't be experimented on ever again. We won't study you. Not without your consent or desire, for example, if there were a highly unlikely health issue."

"I think we have a deal." Sara decided coolly. "I want to leave now."

"Here," Sonia turned and handed them a business card for some pawn shop in the middle of a town that they both knew didn't exist. "If you ever need anything, call the number. We will do everything in our power to accommodate you."

"We need our belongings back, plane tickets, and a way out of this hellhole," Tegan said. "Sara and I want to get out of here."

"Do you want the fastest route back to Cambridgeshire?" Sonia asked, turning to her computer to pull up the website for the nearest airline.

"That'll be just fine."

They watched Sonia's shaky hands purchase plane tickets for them. This trip would take hours, but it would get them home as soon as possible. They'd be stuck on multiple flights, and be forced to sit in airports for unfortunately extended periods of time as well; and on their birthday, even. But they were going home. All they wanted was to get away from all of this and be able to have quasi-normal lives again. Sure, they could never truly be normal, even excluding their childhoods, but they wanted to feel like normal sisters who had fallen in love. The reality was terrifying for both of them; they could never truly be happy and normal people, even if they wanted to. What they were had started this, but now that they had fallen in love, and then the US government had plucked them out of their normal lives after hunting them down... They would have to live with all of this shit piled up together. They were either sentenced to co-dependency or being unable to look each other in the eye for reminders of everything that had happened. Neither of them could even express their emotions because crying in such a place was an unappealing idea, and they still felt adrenaline in their systems, even though they had already done their fighting, but their flight had yet to come.

“I’ll get someone to bring your things back to you,” Sonia muttered before taking the radio off of her belt and doing as she said. She avoided eye contact with the twins. Tegan could see something else in her mother’s face: shame. Tegan didn’t feel the least bit guilty over this; after all, Sonia had landed herself in this situation. If she wasn’t going to treat them like human beings, then they had the right to fight back.

Within five minutes, a young man came in with a plastic bin filled with their backpacks and clothes, and Sonia led them into the bathroom so that they could change out of their scrubs in privacy. As soon as the door shut, and they were alone, Sara dropped the box and immediately inspected Tegan’s neck, where the barb from the Taser had been. Seeing nothing that looked very concerning, she placed a light kiss on the area, and let out a sigh.

“Are you ok?” Tegan asked, tired.

“Yes. I’ll be fine as soon as we get home. What about you, though? Are you alright?” Sara’s gaze dropped to the floor, also looking wiped out.

“Yeah… Don’t blame yourself, though. I know you too well. Neither time was your fault, and you didn’t let it happen.” Tegan squeezed Sara’s shoulder.

“It feels like my fault, and I feel disappointed in myself.” Sara hung her head.

“It’s not, though. You’ve been doing the best you can.” Tegan kissed her cheek. “I’m ok… Physically, anyway. I don’t expect anything out of you, except for your love and support. I can take care of myself when you can’t take care of me. Please, don’t ever stress about thinking that you are not good enough at taking care of me, because you are, and you always will be. Nobody knows me the way you do. You’re good enough for me.” Sara slowly looked up, and lightly kissed Tegan’s lips. They embraced for a breath before pulling apart to get dressed in their street clothing. The sooner they got out, the better.

Hand in hand, they exited the building, led by Sonia. Their backpacks were on their backs, with all of their belongings inside. They were dressed the way they arrived, but what had happened underground would haunt the twins for the rest of their life together.

Sonia led them into a helicopter, as a car ride would take too long since Area 51 was so secluded. They were able to charge their phones and laptops on the ride over. (Their laptops had been stolen from the apartment in an attempt to learn what they could, but like with their phones, the agents had been unable to figure out the passcodes, thanks to Tegan and her ability to prevent herself from being hacked.) They hands did not leave each other in the helicopter, and though it wasn't a short ride, they didn't make a move to find something to amuse themselves. Tegan had decided that she would be a lot more intimidating if she just sat staring straight ahead. She could look out the windows anyway. Sara, on the other hand, was not in a place where she would be able to let her guard down until they were home and safe. She would not be touched by anyone who wasn't Tegan, and silently dreaded airport security.

When they landed at the airport, Sara was pleasantly surprised that they were let into a terminal, so she did not have to feel violated. So, they bought some food and stared at the table as they ate. Luckily, the wait for their plane wasn't too long. They had been put in first class; a clear attempt by Sonia to make them hate her less. It wasn't going to work this way. Sonia could spend as much money as she wanted on them, but that didn't mean that it would erase what had transpired.

Tegan kept glancing at Sara to check on her. She knew that her lover had to be struggling to keep all of her emotions bottled up, so Tegan placed a hand on Sara's knee, finding her sister to be sitting as stiff as a board. Sara's face almost looked like a stone statue, except for her blinking.

When the in-flight accommodations came around, Tegan had to order for Sara; knowing what she would like. She wasn't too worried about her sister because they were in public. Tegan would start worrying about Sara if they arrived home and scraped their life together, but Sara still did nothing to express any of her feelings.

Looking back wistfully upon the moment that they had first met, Tegan sank into memories to hide from the reality that was in front of and behind them. When the good memories ran out, she leaped into the safe haven that was her imagination. It wasn't really hope for the future; it was what might have been, and in that brief moment where Tegan needed relief, what was.

The next flight they boarded, both of them fell asleep, but not deeply. When at the facility they had been trapped at, they'd both developed the ability to sleep lightly in such a way that they could hear everything going on in their surroundings, but still be able to rest. Since this had been the only form of sleep they'd been allowing themselves, the shadowed circles beneath their eyes were dark and obvious. Tegan was convinced that it would take months for the purple rings to fade, especially since this sort of sleep just made them more tired, and they had been held for two weeks.

As they arrived in London, it occurred to Tegan that they two of them were spending their nineteenth birthday; their first birthday celebrated together (aside from the day they were born), inside airports and planes, and she frowned. She and Sara were jetlagged but colossally exhausted for a long list of other reasons, so it didn't seem to really matter all that much. Perhaps they'd celebrate it later, or just celebrate their half birthday in March instead.

The road home seemed to be never-ending, even as they entered the cab that would take them to their apartment complex. Tegan'd had to lead Sara around, and figure out where all of the terminals were, find their seats, and guess what Sara needed, as she wouldn't even really say anything about needing to use the restroom, so Tegan had needed to bring Sara with her on several bathroom breaks, just in case. She had to guess when Sara was hungry because other than loud stomach growls, Sara gave no indication. She'd eat or drink what was put in front of her, but that was it. It was like Sara had simply shut down. Tegan's best guess was that Sara was keeping it together, and this was her method of doing so.

It was surprising to Tegan that the door of their apartment was locked. Either the government agents actually gave a shit, or Emy or their landlord had done so for them. Sonia had informed them that she made sure that everything was still paid for (probably in the government’s self-interest, but Tegan didn't want to imagine anything else about the department, as she had already lived through enough for multiple lives), so they could just inject themselves right back into their lives as though nothing had happened. That was a nice thought, but that couldn't be reality.

Emy burst out of her apartment in tears as Tegan unlocked and opened the door, knocking the wind out of both twins as she hugged them; relieved to see that they were still alive. In a stream of hard-to-understand explanation, Emy explained that she had tried to call the police, but she was warned to stay out of it. She had gone against their wishes and tried to contact them, but they hadn't answered. (This was when they had been going through tests and unable to get to any form of communication with anyone outside of the rooms they were in.)

With a few hugs and reassurances, and an explanation that they were exhausted, Tegan got Emy to go back into her apartment so that she and Sara could try to scrape their lives back together somehow.

Tegan deflated even more, if possible when she saw the state of their apartment. It looked like it had been ransacked, which it probably had. Their belongings were strewn everywhere, and the couch cushions had even been torn open. Tegan heaved a heavy sigh but guided Sara inside. She closed and locked the door behind them; even using the chain.

“Home sweet home,” Tegan mumbled before wandering around the rooms. The windows were all closed, but all drawers were opened, and their things had clearly been looked through.

Sara felt something snap upon seeing the condition their apartment was in. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back; the bottled emotions had run over. She let out the most heart-wrenching sound of frustration and sadness as she fell to her knees weeping. Tegan came running and dropped to her knees to pull Sara into an embrace as she sobbed; finally letting it all out. Tegan whispered comfort to her sister, tears running out of her own eyes. Everything was distressing, and they were just kids. They were barely nineteen years old; still teenagers… and everything that had happened was too much for them. Neither of them knew how they would be able to deal with it if it wasn’t actually over.

They cried for everything that they’d been forced to hide about themselves. The tears slowed, but they clung to each other, swaying back and forth. It was a comforting motion. So comforting, that they allowed themselves to lay down on the floor and fall asleep together, time be damned.


	17. Chapter 17

As it turned out, falling asleep on the floor together was far more pleasant than waking up on it. Sara and Tegan were extremely stiff, feeling almost like they’d been hit by all of the planes they had been stuck riding to get home. They awoke clutching each other, but nothing around them had changed. It was the same setting, only hours later, and now they felt stiff. It wasn't very comforting, but a break from reality had been something both of them needed, but wouldn't admit. However, sleep wasn't a very good escape, as they weren't able to actually forget about everything that had happened and were only unconscious. They would have to live with this indefinitely. Even if they trusted the US government agents to wipe their memories of all of the painful things that had happened in their lives, it wouldn't stop until they were just blank slates. All of the horrible things that had happened; their separation, how they grew up, and how they had to fight just to be able to get a chance to be together peacefully... Those things made them who they were, and to take that away would be to take away large parts of their identity. Besides, pain makes people stronger, and stressful events bring people closer together.

Despite sleeping, however, both twins woke up tired and stayed tired. They didn't speak but slowly stood up, trying to stretch away the soreness and stiffness. Sara wasn't sure how, but their eyes did not meet. It was not from shame or any such emotion. They were just tired both physically and emotionally, and it was easier for each of them to take care of herself before helping the other with her feelings.

They had a silent agreement that it was easier to deal with things from the outside in, so they started by cleaning up the apartment and restoring it to the way it had been after Sara quickly and discreetly registered for another semester of classes at Cambridge while Tegan started a list of things that needed replacement. They would need a new couch and bed, for starters, as they had both been torn into. At least all of the doors and windows were intact, except for the chain on the front door. They'd have their landlord take care of that, though.

First to be cleaned up was the bedroom and bathroom, although they found that they had to get a new vacuum cleaner... Sara made a remark on how they had more class than to hide things in their vacuum cleaner, which made Tegan snicker, and the difficult situation eased greatly for that one humorous moment. The comment wasn't even that funny; Tegan was just that wound up and needed to let go of a lot of tension.

The rope ladder had been removed for them by the government agents, and the bars on all of the windows had been restored. The blinds were all destroyed, and Tegan suggested curtains next time, but Sara could not bring herself to crack a smile.

"I'm not looking forward to going shopping," Sara said quietly. Tegan could barely hear her as they picked up their belongings off of the floor. The books had suffered greatly, which irked her. Sara had made all sorts of notes and annotations in every single one, and they were all novels that she had enjoyed. Tegan felt that Sara's commentary made each book better than if it were a fresh copy from a bookstore, so she was extremely peeved that the US government agents had acted as though Sara talking about theme, imagery, symbolism, and motifs in the margins of books were some sort of code. The agents did know that the two of them talked face to face and on Snapchat, right? Older people seriously didn’t understand that young and intelligent people didn’t overcomplicate the simple things.

“I’ll go with you,” Tegan promised, grimacing at the memory of what happened the last time Sara had gone to the store alone.

“I’d appreciate that,” Sara replied softly. Tegan reached out for her hand and took it.

“You don’t ever have to be without me again if you don’t want to be.” Tegan reminded her quietly.

"I know,” Sara let out a long sigh. “I’m just wondering how we’ll ever be able to be normal ever again. I am aware of the fact that it will be gradual and will take time, but as of right now, I don’t know if I’m willing to be separated from you for extended periods of time. Nobody has to tell me that this fact isn’t healthy because I know that it isn’t. I just… I can’t shake the thought of something happening. I wouldn’t be able to bear it if I were to lose you. I need you, Tegan.” Tegan felt something like dread in her gut due to the fact that this was the result of everything that had happened. They were as healthy as they probably could be, previous to having to go on the run. But now they actually were codependent.

“I guess we just have to take it day by day and not think too much about it for the time being,” Tegan answered. “I don’t really know how to do this either. But we can figure it out together.” She pulled her sister into an embrace

“I hope I don’t revert to my old ways of keeping people out.” Sara murmured, her head resting on Tegan’s shoulder. “I know that I can’t do this without you, but I fear that I may hold you at arm’s length in an effort not to drag you down.”

“You’re talking about it, so you’re not a complete lost cause,” Tegan pointed out. Sara looked up at her with a look of fake annoyance, but her faux resolve crumbled and she smiled, lightly kissing Tegan’s lips.

“I love you so much… I don’t know how I’d be able to survive this existence without you.” Sara whispered.

“Neither do I,” Tegan managed to get, though her words felt like they had gotten stuck in her throat.

When they went to the shops to replace many of their belongings, they resisted the urge to hold hands, remembering that to the rest of the world, they were sisters. Before the shitstorm, Sara had pointed out that it was probably best if they didn’t let anyone know that they were incestuous, so their friends didn’t know. Their apartment wasn’t really the one they hung out in; only Emy used to come over with frequency. So they maintained their private life behind closed doors without too much trouble. It hadn’t previously been in their nature to be affectionate in public. Those telling touches were generally reserved for their home, and the obvious looks were always passed off as them not having grown up together, so they were still amazed that they had lived most of their lives without this person that was exactly the same as them.

Tegan longed for that context to be established wherever they went so that she could hold Sara’s hand. She felt better when she and Sara were touching in some way. It was comforting, and the physical touch soothed Sara as well as Tegan. There were no cons to being physically affectionate, except that other people would notice it and see it. They’d inevitably form their own opinions without knowing the context.

Besides, people were far less expressive in the UK. Sara had liked this fact at first because she was no longer considered the weirdo the way she had in Massachusetts; even in an academic setting. She felt more at home. But now, Sara knew that she had to either completely bottle it up, or be able to express her feelings. However, that wasn’t just a switch she could flip on and off. It took time for her to be able to express things, and she could guess that it hurt Tegan when she kept things from her. Tegan didn’t want Sara to isolate herself or ever feel isolated, so it was kind of harmful when Sara pushed her emotions away. But in public, Sara had to keep it on the inside. So Tegan did all of the talking.

Her style of dealing with it was to hold it all in and pretend like everything was alright until it was too much, and then she’d break down. Sara just shut down when everything was too much. For both of them, they put the other first no matter what.

As they loaded their purchases into Sara’s car, she caught sight of a restaurant, and the realization that they hadn’t eaten since yesterday hit Sara like a load of bricks. She had often wondered what would happen if she didn’t eat or drink anything for an extended period of time, but ended up consuming at least something each day, even if it was only an apple, a cup of coffee, and a bottle of water. The excuse that Sara maintained in her head was that she was a focused person, and her body was created to endure times such as these, so it was alright if she didn’t eat or drink very much. However, Tegan needed to take care of her body, because Sara needed her lover to be alright.

“Are you hungry?” Sara asked, shifting her weight to her right foot before opening the car door to get in. “We could go get lunch…” Tegan looked confused at this.

“Not really,” Tegan confessed with a shrug. “I just haven’t been feeling hungry since we got home.” Sara nodded, frowning. They made it back to the apartment. Sara kept an eye on Tegan as they cleaned up the apartment.

“Are you thirsty?” Sara asked as she began to sweep up some of the dust on the kitchen floor.

“No,” Tegan met her eyes. “But I know what you’re doing. I’ll have lunch with a glass of water if you do.” Sara shrugged.

“We don’t have any perishable foods.” Sara pointed out.

“Last time I checked, we don’t need any perishable items for CupNoodles or canned soup.” Tegan pointed out.

“You prefer homemade soup,” Sara remarked.

“I’m not just going to let you neglect your bodily needs while you try to get me to take care of myself,” Tegan warned, crossing her arms over her chest, taking a stance like she was ready to fight. They weren't actually going to, but Sara moved into a defensive stance; arm across her body, right hand clutching her left forearm. “Sasa, you need to take care of yourself too.”

“I’m fine.” Sara insisted.

“Why am I not allowed to just be fine, while you are?” Sara somehow felt vulnerable by Tegan seeing right through her, but not exactly in a bad way.

“Because… because I care about you.” Sara’s eyes found the floor. “I care about you more than I do about myself. I don’t think I’ve ever truly loved myself… But I love you more than anything in this world.” Tegan let out a sigh, her arms falling to her sides, and she approached Sara. Their eyes met.

“Is it hard to believe that I feel that way about you?” Her voice was low and gentle. Suddenly their lips crashed together, and they were making out heavily. Their hands began roaming each other’s bodies, but Tegan felt uncomfortable and pulled away. “Sara, I can’t.”

“Are you alright? Did I do something? Did I hurt you?” Sara gasped, asking the questions so quickly that Tegan could barely understand what she was saying.

“No, I just… I guess I’m gonna need some time to feel more comfortable with our setting before feeling ready to start having sex again.” Tegan shrugged one shoulder, her eyes traveling over her shoes. She felt embarrassed for feeling this way… It was Sara touching her, and it would continue to be Sara touching her, and she wouldn’t do so in a nonconsensual way. She had no reason to feel like this.

“It’s alright,” Sara promised, moving Tegan’s hair out of her face, placing a light kiss on her forehead. “Thank you for telling me.” They fell into a warm embrace. When their arms were around each other, they could feel like everything was alright in their world. They could briefly forget the worst parts of meeting each other because within each other’s arms, they were home. Hugs restored their hope that everything would be alright, which they both desperately needed just as much as they needed air to breathe, and the love of the other.

The apartment was somewhat livable when they decided to stop cleaning for the night. It was past midnight, and they were so tired that they felt like they could fall over, which was the only condition in which they felt like they could go to bed. The sheets were clean, but neither of them felt safe or secure enough to put on pajamas; barely feeling secure enough to take off their shoes. All of the doors and windows were locked, but Sara had slipped some knives into the drawer of her nightstand. Tegan held onto her as though they would be ripped away in their sleep, and Sara lay awake for almost a half hour, listening to every little sound audible to her super hearing. Eventually, she drifted off to sleep.

Tegan woke up, and her heart instantly pounding, and she quickly sat up, looking around. When she saw that they were exactly where they had fallen asleep, she took a deep breath and started to calm herself down, snuggling back into her lover’s arms as she strategically lowered her heart rate. As she calmed herself down, Tegan admired how peaceful Sara looked in sleep, wondering if she would ever see such serenity in herself or her sister in wakefulness ever again.

When Sara stirred and sat up, grabbing Tegan’s hand tightly, she only took a quick look around, before exhaling and turning to kiss Tegan good morning.

"We should eat,” She muttered, staring into the depths of Tegan’s eyes.

“Not yet… I just want to lay here with you.” Tegan whispered, her voice slightly raspy. Sara looked so beautiful in the lighting. She already looked alert, but Tegan admired Sara’s bone structure, and the way Sara’s gaze was only soft when it rested on her, and the slight smile that tugged at the corners of her mouth in response to Tegan’s words.

This moment was a peaceful one where neither of them thought of anything but each other, and they didn’t worry. They each just admired the girl that she fell in love with.

Unfortunately, they had to wake up, and dress in fresh clothing. The previous day, the washer and dryer had been constantly running to make sure no dust was on their clothing, and even if someone rooted through it, the fabric would be clean. This was mainly to calm their minds, rather than keep from getting dirty, but both of them figured that they were allowed to do such things if it made them feel better so that they could start their day.

Once the apartment had been tidied and cleaned of any evidence that anyone had gone through it, Tegan lay down on the couch and began watching Netflix and eating a bag of popcorn that she had popped. Sara opened up her backpack that she had brought along with her when they were on the run. Once she removed the dirty laundry and plugged in her laptop and phone to charge, her eyes found her sketchbooks, and she halted all movement.

She had only ever shown Tegan what was inside these, but she knew for a fact that people at the facility where they had been held had gone through their backpacks. For a psychologist, these sketchbooks were a goldmine in getting inside Sara’s head.

Her hands began to tremble, and she set them down on the counter. Her eyes filled with tears, but she didn’t make a single sound. Sara felt violated at the thought of someone in a lab coat and gloves flipping through these pages… All of which she had filled with drawings of her loved ones… Her cats and Tegan. The drawings of Tegan were so intensely personal that it had taken months of being in love for her to be comfortable with opening up to Tegan about what she was drawing.

Sara was tempted to shove these sketchbooks into the trash, but if someone fished them out of the garbage, they would see the contents of her heart splayed out on paper. The only way was to burn them. She briefly entertained the thought of doing it literally behind Tegan’s back; page by page, but Sara knew that she’d break down crying while in the process, and she needed support to accomplish this.

“Tegan,” She called out, voice weak and wavering on those two simple syllables that she had spoken many times.

Said person quickly paused what she was watching and turned all of her attention to Sara. “What is it?”

“I… I need to burn my sketchbooks,” Sara explained, letting out a defeated sigh, her head hanging. “They’re tainted. Someone looked through them. I can’t… I have to get rid of them, but I don’t want anyone else to ever see what’s inside of them.”

“I can help you with that,” Tegan promised after a moment. “We’re going to need a bucket, though.”

That night, they donned warm coats and left the apartment with matches, the metal pail, and Sara’s sketchbooks. They found a spot away from people and quickly got to work, ripping the paper parts of the sketchbooks away from the metal rings, until all they had was a bucket full of paper products. Tegan silently offered Sara the matchbook, and she set fire to her art, Tegan’s arm around her waist to support her and keep her steady.

Sara breathed easier as the images of the ones she loved turned to ash. Nobody would ever look through them again because they existed nevermore. Tegan kept her warm both externally and internally. Despite burning the sketchbooks creating relief, Sara did have mixed emotions about destroying her art. She had poured hours into lovingly recreating the details of the three beings she loved. Sara loved her art, and she was proud of it. She needed to burn it to allow for peace of mind, but she felt grief over not being able to look at how she evolved, or which styles she had experimented with. But the fact that someone had looked through her sketchbook without her permission would make it difficult for her to create art and keep it in the future. Tegan wouldn’t look, unless Sara explicitly stated that it was alright, but still… Like everything in general, it would take time to get over.

When they arrived home, she held a pencil over the paper they used to scribble down grocery lists or notes for each other and tried to draw literally anything that came to mind. But there was a mental block that prevented her from being able to express herself on paper. She couldn’t bring herself to do more than rest her pencil on the paper, so she gave up. Sara promised herself that she’d take a break, and then try again later.

That night, they again fell asleep in their clothes, with the doors and windows locked; blinds pulled down, and knives in the drawer of the nightstand. It was still too soon for them to make any baby steps, but as they kept reminding themselves, that was alright; there was no point in rushing themselves.


	18. Chapter 18

The apartment was quiet and felt glaringly empty with just the two of them. Both twins could feel it, and they missed their kids. Holiday and Mickey had been vital to their home lives, and it seemed as though they needed their feline companions in order to even begin to return back to a home life that was somewhat normal, after all; their absence had signified things becoming more serious.

However, this meant that they had to be subjected to all of the questions of their friends about what had happened, where they had been, why they hated being touched, why they didn’t like being out in public… Once fully charged again, their phones revealed an overwhelming amount of texts and missed calls and messages. After deep breaths and discussion over whether or not they were ready to do this, Tegan texted the group chat to explain that they were back, and had been for a couple days, but had needed to recuperate for a little while before reaching out to their friends.

It took a couple hours of answering their questions continuing with the fake story that they had come up with, but eventually, everyone was satisfied enough to stop asking questions, or finally got that Tegan didn’t really want to talk about it, so they began to update her on the stuff that had happened in their lives. It was at this point that Sara, who was sitting on the couch with Tegan, a reality TV show playing in the background to lighten things up a bit, texted Eva to decide when to go get Holiday and Mickey. Sara and Tegan did need to go to the pet store in order to make sure that they had all of the necessary supplies and Eva did have work, so that evening, they would be reunited to the rays of sunshine in their currently dark and cloudy life.

The first thing that their friends wanted was to go out together on the first night that they were all free, and be able to talk and see them in person. This was reasonable, but sounded a bit overwhelming, especially considering the things that they had gone through. Tegan was really surprised by Sara agreeing but went ahead with the plan. After their friends started talking about random shit that mattered less in the group chat, Tegan turned to stare at the girl she loved more than anything.

“Are you sure you want to go out so soon after everything?” She asked Sara quietly.

“What else are we supposed to do? Hide away from everyone and everything until we get over it?” Sara responded calmly and evenly, without looking away from the TV. “Besides, they want to see us. They need to see us. It’ll help remind them that we actually are alright. There’s a reason we, as a society, have funerals… It’s not like they’re for the dead.” Tegan pressed her lips together.

“But do you actually want to go out?” Tegan tried again, clarifying.

“I can’t kiss you and hold you close and wear my pajamas while eating junk food and watching TV, so not really,” Sara answered nonchalantly. “But I think it’ll be good for us to get out, as long as we are both ok with it, and don’t push ourselves too far. Are you having second thoughts, though? We don’t have to. We can cancel.”

“It’s not that. I’d tell you if I were.” Tegan explained. “I don’t know… I just… It’s still so weird to be home. Both of us went through something really fucked up, but we were kept apart, and I don’t know how either of us is dealing with it, and it’s hard for me to be strong for both myself and you, and I don’t exactly know how to do that for both of us at the same time.”

“Tegan, nobody said you had to be strong for both of us all of the time.” Sara finally turned her head, meeting Tegan’s stressed eyes. Her fingers lightly traced Tegan’s profile. This touch smoothed away the tenseness of her lover’s features, and her eyes shut as she relaxed; the stress falling off of her body. Sara kissed Tegan’s temple. “In our relationship, we are here to support each other and have each other’s backs. If either of us needs to just try to support ourselves for a little while, that’s ok. And if we can, we’ll hold the other up. Just because one of us needs the other doesn’t mean that we have to stop taking care of ourselves in order to accomplish that. No matter what, we can get through anything, as long as it’s both of us, and one of us isn’t isolated. There’s nobody like us. We’re stronger and tougher than any known person because we’re superhumans. I’m strong enough to take care of myself, and you are strong enough to take care of yourself. But if it’s difficult, don’t strain yourself, because that’s not what relationships are meant for. I’m here to catch you when you fall.”

Sara began kissing along Tegan’s cheekbone and jawline, leaving light and soft kisses all over her face, but never leaving that area. This wasn’t turning into anything sexual, but Tegan already trusted Sara; knowing that she wouldn’t push for anything Tegan had stated that she wasn’t ready for. Tegan was guided into lying down on her side, with Sara’s arms around her waist; her cheek resting against the back of Tegan’s head. They were doing a lot of lying around, but neither of them really knew what else to do with their time, since their comfort zones weren’t very large at this point.

About an hour before it was time to go get Holiday and Mickey, the twins left their apartment to go to the pet store and get toys, food, cat litter, and treats for the cats. When they arrived at Eva’s apartment, Sara wondered how rude it would be to go straight for her cats to say hello to them. She had never been away from them for so long.

“It’s really you!” Eva smiled with relief, urging them inside, and then hugging them. Tegan grabbed Sara’s hand to anchor herself. She didn’t really want to be touched, but she didn’t feel like it was necessary to hurt Eva’s feelings after she’d taken care of Holiday and Mickey for so long. “I was so worried.” Eva smiled, looking like she was tearing up. “Your cats were kind of mischievous at times, but really lazy at every other time.”

“Yeah, that’s an accurate assessment,” Sara agreed, her voice sort of quiet. Tegan let go of her hand.

“So what do we owe you?” Tegan asked. “We can pay you anything for the trouble…”

“You don’t have to pay me anything; they were an absolute joy to have around.” Eva assured them. “I don’t want money for doing a couple of friends a favor.” Tegan made a mental note to slip some money into Eva’s mailbox. She felt bad for lying to these people who just wanted to help out and genuinely cared about them.

“Do you know where they are? I um… I really missed my kids.” Sara explained.

“Of course, follow me. They’re in my bedroom, I think.” Eva led them into her bedroom. The bed wasn’t made very neatly, but it looked homey. The cats were, indeed sprawled out on the bedspread, and Sara rushed to them, and began petting them. They began to rub against Sara, and Tegan joined her, because she had really missed the cats too.

Tegan had to take the lead in loading the car with the cats’ stuff, but she knew that these felines had been Sara’s only source of love since before they had known that the other existed, and of course Sara would find comfort in these furry little people that she had raised.

Putting the cats into their carrier was the last step, in which Sara insisted upon carrying it to the car herself, and keeping the carrier on her lap on the drive back to their apartment. Getting the cats settled back into their own apartment required them doing the inverse of removing them from Eva’s apartment. First, they let the cats out so that they could roam about and sniff everything. Then the litter boxes were put back in place, next came the food and water bowls. After that came their scratching posts and toys and beds. And then their home—belonging to the four of them—was complete. Sara felt like a part of her that had been missing had returned. She didn’t truly feel whole, but she felt better. Tegan felt this, but not to such a large extent. She did love the cats, but she hadn’t lived with and loved them the way Sara had. That night, they brushed and pet the cats until they fell asleep on the bed with the cats curled up in between them.

Unfortunately, the return of their residential felines did not keep the inevitable nightmares away. Sara’d experienced nightmares, but she’d woken up in the middle of the night, took deep breaths as she reminded herself of her surroundings, which meant that she was in the UK with Tegan, and then Sara was able to fall asleep again. Tegan awakening from nightmares was a lot more violent, or perhaps it was just this one in particular.

She let out a scream, thrashing as she regained consciousness. Sara sat bold upright, snapping herself out of her own dream that featured her dead father. She pushed her own need for comfort to the side, and wrapped her arms around Tegan, shushing and soothing her to calm her down. Tegan was breathing heavily, her heart racing, as she relaxed against Sara. Her eyes began to leak tears, which made Sara need to cry too. She whispered to Tegan over and over that it was alright; they were home, and they were ok. The still darkness of the night outside was soothing for both of them, and Tegan relaxed.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Sara asked, lying down again. Tegan rested her head against Sara’s shoulder.

“Not really,” Tegan admitted. “I… It’s probably best if I do, but I don’t actually want to.”

“We won’t talk about it until you’re ready,” Sara assured her. “I had a nightmare too…You woke me up from it, and you kind of scared the cats.”

“I didn’t mean to!” Tegan’s voice was sort of panicky, and Sara shushed her as a form of soothing her sister.

“I know, and it’s ok.” Sara draped an arm over Tegan, kissing her forehead. “It’s no big deal. No harm was done.” Tegan exhaled, clinging to Sara like a life preserver. They fell asleep together again, and in the morning, Tegan kissed Sara’s face until she woke up.

When it came time for them to go out with their friends, it took a while for them to leave the house, asking each other over and over again if this or that article of clothing made them look normal or tired and traumatized. Eventually, they made it to the bar, with Tegan’s hand resting on the middle of Sara’s back. She clearly didn’t really want to be going out, but refused to not go. Tegan wanted a change of scenery, so this was yet another reason for Sara to go, despite not really wanting to, and Tegan felt a bit guilty, so perhaps some physical touch would make her feel better. Obviously, Tegan had offered to let Sara stay home with the cats, but they refused to be separated, and they had made these plans, so Sara was going to go whether she liked it or not. Tegan wasn’t quite sure she understood her lover’s reasoning exactly, but she wouldn’t question it.

There were a lot of hugs that they had to endure upon seeing everyone again. Even the men of the group hugged them. Tegan wondered if it would be rude to remind everyone that they were still teenage girls (albeit nineteen), and that it was kind of creepy for twenty-something college students that were unrelated to them to hug them. Tegan didn’t actually think that it was creepy; she just didn’t want anyone but Sara to touch her.

Sara was aware of this fact, so she did her best to distract everyone from being touchy, though she didn’t really actively participate in the conversation; instead ordering some French fries, and slowly taking tiny bites of one after another. She looked around at the pub around them. She watched people laughing and enjoying themselves. There were people making out, and people drinking. She, herself, would not be drinking that night. It was bad enough fearing to be separated from her twin sister; she didn’t need to develop a substance abuse problem. Besides, she would get over everything sooner if she didn’t use anything to ease the pain of her wounds.

The thing that yanked her into the conversation (partially against her will) was the discussion of classes in the upcoming term that was only about a week away.

“What class are you looking forward to most?” Ted asked. Sara froze up for a second. Tegan didn’t yet know that she had signed up for classes.

“I’m not sure,” Sara replied truthfully. “I’ve been really distracted lately… But uh… right now, I need a minute in the restroom… Tegan, care to join me?” Her twin frowned, but nodded as they went into the bathroom.

“You signed up for classes this term? Why didn’t you tell me?” Tegan’s questions didn’t sound angry or demanding; just curious, but this made Sara feel even guiltier. She wished she had told Tegan earlier.

“I needed to do it as soon as possible, but I wasn’t really up for telling you at that particular time.” Sara explained. “You have to understand, I wasn’t trying to keep secrets from you. I just wanted to do it as soon as possible, and since it’s my life, I knew you’d understand.”

“I do understand, and I do know that it’s your choice.” Tegan assured her. “But I’m just worried about you… Are you sure you’re ready?” To that, Sara simply shrugged with only one shoulder.

“I don’t know.” She said quietly and simply. “But I feel like if I don’t get back on the bike this semester, I won’t be able to force myself to go back for a long time. Might as well, you know? I don’t know if I’ll ever truly be enthusiastic or excited, but my classes will serve as a distraction, and I think they will motivate me to help me get over everything.” Tegan thought about this for a moment, but nodded.

“One more thing though… I’m not having fun tonight.” She whispered, as though this was a crime. “I… Do you think we’ll ever be able to go back to normal?”

“Short answer, no,” Sara answered. “But we have to keep going. That’s why I wanted to go out tonight. That way, I’d be doing something to distract myself, and force myself to act like everything's alright. You can’t just fake it until you make it… You have to fake it until you become it.”

“That makes sense.” Tegan admitted. “So the only answer is to live, laugh, and love?” Sara snorted. Both of them hated those cheesy signs.

“I mean, yes… Do you really want to phrase it like that though?” Sara’s eyes sparkled with amusement.

“If it makes you laugh, then yes.” Tegan smiled, and they hugged for a moment, before going back out to their friends, and joining the conversation again.

That night, they felt drained as they got home and collapsed on their bed, but they felt better. Their friends knew that they were alright, and they could finally continue their lives. This time, they put on pajamas before falling asleep. Perhaps seeing their friends was something that made them feel secure enough to feel more vulnerable in their slumber, though the knives stayed in the drawer of the nightstand for over a month later.

When Sara began attending classes again, she and Tegan had to text each other in order to keep both of them calm enough to work through their separation anxiety and Facetimed while Sara drove home, so that they could see one another, and hear her voice. They knew that this wasn’t healthy, so after discussion, they agreed that Tegan should get a job again, and they’d try to talk to each other less when they were apart until they weren’t so obsessive, and no longer feared being apart. This process took months, and really only got perfected after Sara completed her PhD in the three year program (one of the few things that actually sort of challenged her as a superhuman). Once she graduated, there was no reason for them to stay in the UK, as they had no intention of living there. Tegan had taken classes to work towards becoming a tattoo artist. Both of them admired tattoos, and had gotten some as time went by, designed by Sara. Through teaching Tegan how to draw, she had gotten back into drawing, and now felt safe leaving the sketchbooks lying around their home, but would never bring any of them outside of their residence.

Once they were secure enough to sleep naked, it became a slow process of being comfortable enough with their surroundings for both of them to be ready to have sex. The frequency at which they had sex was very low, and as they became more comfortable with that, they became very sexually active, even having a stash of toys to play with each other with.

After a lot of consideration as to where they would live, it was decided that they would go to Seattle, Washington; a lovely city where they could start over, and live quiet lives after the tearful goodbyes of their friends in Cambridge, and strategic loss of contact. They didn’t deliberately strike up any new friendships, because they wanted to be able to act like a couple at all times in their house. But when they did want to go on vacations (which was unfortunately sort of often, as they needed to get out and away from their life for a little while every so often), they had good enough relationships with their coworkers to get them to take care of their garden and cats, though they never let anyone into their house when they weren’t there; just dropped the kids off at the place where they would stay.

Sara was a librarian at a university library and Tegan found she rather enjoyed being a tattoo artist, but they both got the professions that they wished to achieve. They both purposefully avoided scientific fields, because it was stressful for them to even think about going to a doctor, which they thankfully didn’t need to do, as their bodies didn’t get sick, and always healed quickly.

Something that made life a lot easier for both of them was the fact that despite having been originally been created for destruction, they lived for creation. It was therapeutic, in a way. It didn’t keep all of the nightmares away, but they had each other for that, as well as little calming activities like gardening, and making art. Every single second that they spent together, they never stopped loving one another, but improved their relationship and kept it healthy and happy.

Once in a while, it crossed their minds that they could fight crime or something extravagant like that. But every single time, they quickly decided against it. They knew that their story would be told in higher up science as a cautionary tale. Perhaps one day, after they were dead (though, they’d live a longer life than normal), they would be household names as the first real superhumans, and the first artificially created humans by the US. They wanted their personal lives to be forgotten as much as possible as to keep their relationship hidden. Sara had a sneaking suspicion that Sonia had them covered in that. Sonia always looked out for them, and had even been the one to advise them that it would be best if they stayed in the US, as the government would take care of everything for them, and ensure that they had a good life and weren’t disturbed.

Tegan’s relationship with Sonia never really recovered. Any phone call between them was scarce, and only done with necessity, but it was always awkward and there was tension. Sara wasn’t quite fond of Sonia either, but she was trying as hard as she could to regain their trust, but both twins agreed with the saying that trust was like a mirror, and in this case, the mirror had been shattered. This didn’t even go into how Tegan had been raised. Sara was glad that she had killed Stephen, which made it a lot easier to move past everything, but the best Tegan could do was have Sara communicate with Sonia when they needed to. Despite this, Tegan was ok, and stronger than ever. They were ok.

One evening, Tegan wandered out to the deck in their backyard one unseasonably clear and temprate night after work to find Sara sitting outside on their porch swing with a glass of wine and watching the stars.

“Hey,” Sara said, turning her head and smiling. Tegan leaned over to kiss Sara, tasting the wine on her lips.

“Hi,” Tegan whispered.

“The stars looked beautiful tonight until you upstaged them.” Sara murmured.

“Oh my god,” Tegan buried her face in Sara’s neck, her cheeks turning pink, though she couldn’t stop her smile. “You’re making me blush.”

“I know I am. Isn’t that my job?” Sara smirked, eyes twinkling, her fingers stroking her sister’s soft hair.

Tegan pulled away so that she could see Sara’s face. “Can I have some?” She gestured at the glass Sara held in her hand.

"But off course,” Sara let Tegan take her wine and sip from it. “Do you know what day it is?”

“The eighteenth anniversary of when we met; I know.” Tegan smiled. “We can have mind-blowing sex tonight, but I have a little gift for right now.” She sat down on Sara’s lap, feeling her sister’s arm wrapping around her.

“What is it?” Sara raised an eyebrow, knowing that Tegan held nothing in her hands, aside from the wine glass. “Tegan!” She gasped in horror as her lover took a mouthful of wine and playfully drizzled it all over her white button up. Sara had others, and knew enough chemistry to get the stain out, so she wasn’t actually mad; just surprised.

“The first time we met,” Tegan reminded her, “we were both so overcome with emotion that we started crying, and couldn’t even speak, and I got tears on your shirt. I thought I had ruined it, so I said, ‘I’m sorry. Your shirt.’” Sara smiled, but rolled her eyes.

“I am never going to not think of both that and Tara Maclay’s death whenever I hear those words,” Sara warned. This wasn’t true. Those words in that episode had made her cry whenever she watched it after meeting her other half because it reminded her of the first thing Tegan had ever said to her, and her overwhelming feelings in the moment.

“Sorry for ruining your shirt.” Tegan said cheekily before kissing Sara deeply.

“It’s alright,” Sara whispered. “I can just get you back for it later tonight…” Tegan grinned.

“Sounds good.” She commented with a wink. At this, Sara couldn’t help but smile and kiss Tegan on the tip of her nose.

“I love you so much.” She whispered against Tegan’s lips. “As long as I’ve been alive, I’ve never loved anyone else.”

“I love you too, and I always did, as long as our hearts beat.” Tegan replied, and they kissed again, longer and deeper.

 Now, my dear reader… We have reached the conclusion. I’ve told you their story. Hopefully you shall find it satisfies your curiosity. Did I really have a right to do that, considering their desire to have a quiet life together and not let anyone know the many truths about them? Perhaps not. But take from this narrative what you will. Perhaps you see it as a cautionary tale in science. Or maybe an action packed thriller. Or a love story. But now you know what happened, so take from it what you will, as that is all that I wanted to occur.


End file.
